Jacques Chirac employs the national art of hand gestures in an effort to explain France to a Dutchman.
I‘m actually officially taking vacation this week, but I had to pause to share this with someone. In trying to do some post-Christmas shopping (exchanges, gift cards, etc.), I tried to go to Amazon.com and somehow ended up first at the French version, which featured a book with this intriguing title:
Pourquoi les français sont les moins fréquentables de la planète
I have little to no French myself, but thanks to those two years of Latin and intuition, I could sort out most of that — just not quite all. So I turned in vain to Google to provide additional info about the book. It kept given me French source, so I asked it to translate one of the pages. It came up with a hilarious rendition, of which this is a part:
Why the French are the least frequentable of planet
Presentation
Disentangle, in good mood, the truth of the forgery of reciprocal and misleading stereotypes
You probably already wondered what our European neighbors think of
us, French. You finally will obtain answers to this distressing
question!Let us raise a corner of the veil: the Germans find
us off-hand and frivolous pretentious, the chauvinistic, intransigent
English and without humour, the disobeying, immoral and dirty Swedes…
And all with the endorsement!The reciprocal one is true and we are not remains about it to overpower them, all as much as they are, of all the defects.
But, with the fact, how are they actually, our European partners? And on which reciprocal positive images can we rest to live, speak, exchange, work, distract ourselves and even dream together?
It is with a handing-over flat of a crowd of prejudices
sometimes full of consequences that you invites this book… to live in
Europe with the daily newspaper.
Amusing, non? Note that I am making fun here of the translation software, not of the French or their obsession with their national identity. However, I do reserve the right to do that at some other time.
Segolene Royal’s ordinarily lovely face shows the strain of speaking her native tongue.
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I have spent a great deal of time in France, and simply love the place. But, the French lack our “Puritan” background, so it is much easier for them to act in naked self interest than we.
Virtually every action they have taken with respect to Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Euro have been aimed at damaging America…not for America’s sake, for the purpose of damaging NATO
The death nail in NATO has been planted in Afghanistan where the Germans and French are playing volleyball, while the US is fighting and dying. Complicated factors are at play but in the end the result will be a European Rapid Military Force of about 200,000 men thereby negating the need for NATO. 10 years, and NATO is nothing but paperwork…and the world will be even less stable.
Over the last 6 years the world (and its press) have had a great time ridiculing the US and George Bush. But while no one was watching the world, exclusive of the Iraq situation…has devolved into a much messier place.
hey, whatever you can say about the French, there is certainly no “strain” involved in the speaking of the language, at least not when compared to English or German.
Chris, maybe the way the US acts in self-interest is not as “naked” as other countries; but, even if better “clothed,” it exists nevertheless. Also wondering: if the European Rapid Military Force of 200,000 men negates the need for NATO in Europe’s view (presumably because Europe is then preparing to assume more responsibility for its own defense), how is the world “less stable”? NATO arose out of the post-World-War-II environment, geared for Cold War circumstances. No one can deny the world (and the nature of its dangers) has changed dramatically in the last 20 years. Shouldn’t the structure of military defenses vis-a-vis global politics change as well?
That reminds me of the episode of “News Radio” in which Jimmy James’ book JIMMY JAMES, CAPITALIST LION TAMER didn’t do so well in the US but went gangbusters in Japan. When translated back into English from Japanese, we found out why the book was so inspiring. After all, who could resist JIMMY JAMES, MACHO BUSINESS DONKEY WRESTLER?
Mr. James reading of Chaper 3 went something like this.
“I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street. Many days no business come to my hut. My hut. But Jimmy has fear? A thousand times, ‘No.’ I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo. Dung. Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans…and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey.”
Brad, that’s literature.
Hey Philip…
The point of a French dominated force is that for the French it is a means of economic expansion. Through the EU…France has colonized the poorer, smaller European countries into a pact that must bow to the will of the rich countries. The Rapid force will be another economic boon to France (and Germany) at the expenses of Italy, Portugal, Spain, etc.
Least I remind you that during the last 100 years the Europeans have not exactly demonstrated their ability to restrain their military might. We are in the mist of an unreported arms race…and this is but one front.
The speed at which the world is headed for a dust up is growing rapidly. And this right wing Christian republican thinks the smartest thing America can do is get out of Iraq…in 60 days.
Chris
THIS BLOG, ABANDONED AND OBVIOUSLY LACKING IN DIRECTION IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. ALL OFFERS CONSIDERED.
Brad, we are in a bit of a rut. How about a good discussion on healthcare or the minimum wage. We can return to Iraq or education when something new comes along.
Sorry, bud. My next post is also about Iraq. But my defense is that something new came along. Fear not, the Legislature returns next week.
A “European Rapid Military Force” may indeed negate NATO, but I doubt IT would ever exist much except on paper. If the Balkans erupt again, for instance, don’t bet on the ERMF putting the fire out. The Brits will keep up their military, though, and remain allied with us. There’s something about trying to master the daunting English language that bonds people.
On that subject, Phillip, I beg to differ. French is the most torturous of Latin-derived languages. Perfectly simple ways of saying things got horribly distorted along the way. My prejudice against French in this regard is based in the fact that Spanish was my second language, learned as a child. Spanish is the simplest and most direct of Latin languages, even more than Italian I believe. German is much tougher, but starting out with English helps. French, however, is in a whole other category among Western languages.
Our self-interest may be “clothed,” but I’m sure a naked Parisian would sneer at the WAY it is clothed.
Bud, on the subject of health care, it’s interesting that Castro brought in a “private sector” doctor from Spain to treat him and bypassed his beloved Cuban socialist medical system. How typical of the socialists/communists to impose “national” health care on the citizen pawns but to get top notch health care, they head to the private sector. Lets all remember this as Hillary begins her new clamor for national health care here.
Dave, you seem to think that you’ve scored some great debating point with the above post.
Actually, you’ve just confirmed what has been painfully obvious to anybody with a brain: the rich and powerful will always get the best of everything— no matter the economic system.
Libertarians and fans of unfettered capitalism see no problem with the vast majority getting either poor or non-existent health care.
You don’t have to be a socialist to see the injustice and shortsightedness of the world’s richest society denying basic health care (fundamental to pursuing life, liberty and pursuit of happiness) to millions of workers who make the creation of wealth possible.
Everyone send in your favorite health care system debacle. Mine occurred 8 years ago when my sick father had to sit in the emergency room throwing up blood for over an hour until he was finally attended to by a doctor. Turns out he was a very sick man that immediate attention would not have helped, but that was unknown at the time.
I’m sure Rush Limbaugh or Bill Gates would have received much more prompt attention.
I have other stories that involve slow service, high cost and endless paperwork. Suffice it to say the highly efficient, fair, American private health care system exists only in the fantasy thinking of the right-wing extremists. The real world is far different.
Hurl, so in the end, if a communist is going to act like a country club elitist when it comes to medical care, why not forget the communism in the first place and just be a nice moneymaking capitalist? Think of all the hypocrisy we could do away with. Even Hillary would have to admit she will never wait in some damn line with the little people to get medical care. Accept reality.