The United States of France

A thoughtful reader shared this with me, from TIME magazine:

How We Became the United States of France

By Bill Saporito Sunday, Sep. 21, 2008
This is the state of our great republic: We’ve nationalized the financial system, taking control from Wall Street bankers we no longer trust. We’re about to quasi-nationalize the Detroit auto companies via massive loans because they’re a source of American pride, and too many jobs — and votes — are at stake. Our Social Security system is going broke as we head for a future in which too many retirees will be supported by too few workers. How long before we have national health care? Put it all together, and the America that emerges is a cartoonish version of the country most despised by red-meat red-state patriots: France. Only with worse food.

Note the piece that the phrase "We’ve nationalized the financial system" links to. That one photo of Henry Paulson is rapidly becoming ubiquitous. I used it for the Daddy Warbucks thing, and I also put it on tomorrow’s op-ed page with a column by Robert Samuelson headlined "Paulson’s panic."

Hey, that’s the United States of Freedom to you, mon ami.

2 thoughts on “The United States of France”

  1. Mike Cakora

    Unfortunately, it seems to be pretty accurate.
    The big two-and-a-half in the auto industry got in line last month, auto finance companies are looking for some help, most of us could use a cash infusion.

    Barney “Big Un” Baumgartner of Windblown, Wyo., invited the Federal Reserve and the U.S. Treasury Department to take over his business, The Big Un 24 Hour Tow Service and Trophy Taxidermy.
    In a handwritten press release, Mr. Baumgartner explained that with winter and hunting season coming on, the good citizens of Windblown would be without his vital services unless he found a way to deal with his escalating debts, fast.
    “This is not just about me or my neighbors in Windblown. Heck, we get three or four tourists and out-of-state hunters here every 10 days or so. What if they need a tow or a trophy mount? The consequences are too great to contemplate,” Mr. Baumgartner explained.
    He’d be willing to let the government have 80% of his business for a quick cash infusion. He thought something in the neighborhood of $1.8 million should do the trick. That would be enough to gas up his two tow trucks, get some new taxidermy stuffing and clean up that overdue account at the Number 10 Saloon and Casino over in Deadwood, S.D.

    Maybe bringing video poker back would make things easier for us all…

  2. penultimo mcfarland

    Personally, I feel like this financial crisis started when Barbra Streisand tickets became expensive enough to allow her to finance the Democratic Party in most states.
    A Democrat with a pocketful of someone else’s money is a dangerous thing.

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