‘That stupid ALTERNATIVE MINIMUM TAX!’

I just retreated up the stairs to my home "office" — one of the rooms my kids have moved out of over the years — because my wife was yelling about struggling to figure out "that stupid alternative minimum tax." She was telling me that if I wanted to do something useful, I could do something about that.

Mind you, this is about five minutes after we were having a conversation about how people are always coming to her with things they want ME to do something about, like the editorial page editor is in charge of the world or something. She said I have no idea how many things like that she deflects for me. I said I probably DO have an idea, because I get it all the time myself. It's weird. It's sort of like being the Godfather, with people coming to confide a problem, and you're saying in soothing tones, "What can I do for you, my old friend?…" It would be a big ego boost if I actually thought I had the power that some people seem to assume I have.

Anyway, five minutes after she's acknowledging how silly it is that people think I can do all of these things, she's asking me to do something about the alternative minimum tax. Hey, I don't even fully understand what it is. You know why? Because my wife does our taxes. Thank God.

Maybe, when things calm down a little downstairs, I should go down and think of something to do or say to express my appreciation for that, huh?

Maybe I'll tell her I gave that alternative minimum thing to one of the congressmen on the family payroll, and he's going to take care of it. That's what the Godfather would do…

35 thoughts on “‘That stupid ALTERNATIVE MINIMUM TAX!’

  1. Lee Muller

    Scrap the income taxes.
    5% sales tax is more than enough to run any state goverment and local governments.
    5% federal sales tax is more than enough to run all the legal, authorized functions of the federal government. One third of it would fund our military.

  2. Doug Ross

    I’m with Lee.
    The economic boom that would result from a simple tax system would be enormous. Imagine having businesses focus on creating revenue versus hiding income.
    Abolish the IRS. No more April 15th. Implement a national sales tax and a flat income tax. 5% from every dollar earned.
    No death tax. Spend what you took in from the year before and not a dime more.
    And maybe Brad if you tried to do your own taxes, you might understand better why many of us feel the way we do.

  3. Guero

    The Delusional Twins, Spaceman Lee and D-Ross.
    Perhaps delusional is wrong. Willfully ignorant is better. Lee’s constitutional law analysis channels John C. Calhoun’s nullification nonsense. Dougie’ shtick is more of the Pallinesque Know-Nothing-ism than lee’s fevered bizarre legal theories.
    But, I digress. Keep it up, senores. Angry bubbas mean the Democratic Party will dominate national government for their lifetimes.

  4. EMELKS

    Brad–
    The AMT is a way to make sure the federal government is getting no less than a specified amount from you regardless of deductions, dependents, etc. You calculate the standard 1040 and then, if you’re so evil you make more money than Barney Frank thinks you ought, you have to use a separate calculation, compare the two results and pay the higher of the two.
    Tell your bride that if she thinks this year is bad, wait until next year.
    Guero–
    By all means, get a bullhorn and take full ownership of the personal and economic destruction Obama is preparing for us. I want everyone to know who is championing it.

  5. Brad Warthen

    Doug, my old friend — The Godfather doesn’t do taxes. The Godfather has like a learning disability or something when it comes to filling out forms. You may think I’m kidding, but I’m not. They overwhelm me. I think too much about them. Give me the simplest field in a form to fill out, and I’ll have a thousand questions about that one little box, and I’ll get all bollixed up.
    The thing about it is, I don’t much care about the number that I come up with, but I know that the people at the other end care a LOT and will make all sorts of trouble if I don’t do it right, and I hate that, so I worry over it so much that it’s hard to get it done. I really want to do things RIGHT, and I’m aware that accountants have definitions of “right” that are not intuitive, but arbitrary and pedantic, and the very idea of being called down by one of them for not following one of their bizarre rules just ticks me off in advance. I’m this way about budget-related forms at work, too. I’ll write political analysis for you all day long, but ask me to fill out a simple little form and I get all stressed out. People think I don’t want to be bothered, but it’s really a problem.
    Just show me where to sign, and I’ll sign it. The less I know about how the number was arrived at, the more relaxed I am about it. Of course, it helps in the case of the taxes that I trust my wife totally. But I’ve always been that way at work, too. I’m like Col. Potter: Where do I sign, Radar? All I want to know.
    The year that my wife was in Pennsylvania with my daughter who was studying ballet up there, I took the whole mess to H&R Block. (Good thing, too, because we were dealing with two states as well as federal.) Sure, they take a cut, but who cares? They can take it all, as long as I don’t have to deal with those forms.
    You see, when the money is deducted from my paycheck to start with, it’s gone as far as I’m concerned. It’s not my money; I never had it. If the form I’m given to sign says I get some of it back, great. But to me, that’s found money; it’s not something I have a burning desire to get “back” the way some would.
    You people who resent taxes have a different attitude toward it. You think of it as “your” money, and you get all indignant about it. Me, I don’t resent the taxes. I just can’t deal with the paperwork.

  6. EMELKS

    Hi Brad–
    Of course it’s your money. Did the government awake with the alarm, trudge into the office and do the work for you? If you worked for it, it’s yours and no one else’s.

  7. Birch Barlow

    Ah, the AMT… It isn’t that hard to do.
    Brad, it IS my money. But I don’t resent paying my share one bit.
    What I do resent is paying the share belonging to The Worst Generation because they wanted to inflate their standards of living without paying for it. What could be worse than stealing from your own grandchildren?

  8. David

    In order to spend trillions, bloated government must confiscate trillions from its citizens. The AMT is but one of multiplied hundreds of ruses, scams and schemes employed to accomplish the necessary confiscation.
    There will NEVER be a return to a simple and straightforward tax structure in the United States. The absolutely tyrannical power wielded by those who write and enforce the tax laws in this country is intoxicating and irresistibly addictive.
    And that power intoxicates and addicts Republicans as well as Democrats.
    In other words, we’re sunk. Total economic collapse is inevitable, followed by immediate dissolution of representative government and rise of brutal, cold blooded totalitarianism.
    Earners in this country are presently de facto slaves to non-earners, made so by a government which takes from earners and gives to non-earners. After the collapse, the slavery will be overt, absolute and abject.
    And it won’t be long, either.
    David

  9. Birch Barlow

    David writes:
    The absolutely tyrannical power wielded by those who write and enforce the tax laws in this country is intoxicating and irresistibly addictive.
    And that power intoxicates and addicts Republicans as well as Democrats.
    In other words, we’re sunk. Total economic collapse is inevitable, followed by immediate dissolution of representative government and rise of brutal, cold blooded totalitarianism.

    But I can’t help but wonder who he voted for in the last elections.

  10. David

    What were my choices again?
    A Barak and a hard place, as I recall. Neither presidential candidate mattered. Both were losers.
    I consider that the most important vote I cast last November was the one I cast against Lindsey ‘snake in the grass’ Gramnesty.
    That vote didn’t really work out for me, by the way.
    David

  11. David

    Another “by the way” just occurred to me:
    One of the hugest cheerleaders for Obama – complete with pom poms and a short skirt in liberal school colors – was Brad.
    Where is that mindless, unqualified, unearned support from Shop Road now that Brads’ guy is president and doing all the things Brad thought were going to take this country in a new direction. Brad has been puzzingly silent…his once lavish and fawning praise for the “Suit” has been remarkably muted and faint.
    Wonder why?
    David

  12. Birch Barlow

    What were my choices again?
    Your choices were to vote with those who would wield, in your words, an “absolutely tyrannical power” and bring about “total economic collapse” or to vote against them.
    No, I do not believe that, in protest, voting for a third party or writing your own name in or simply not voting would have an immediate effect on the outcome of an election or on policy. However, Rome was not built in a day and change in Washington isn’t going to come at once in one election. But if the Rs and Ds learn that there are large numbers of votes out there to be gained by showing fiscal responsibility, then our country can finally begin to move in the right direction again.
    If the Brads of the world think that these beliefs of mine are a “copout,” “irresponsible” or just not in the context of the “real world,” then so be it. At the end of the day, all I can say is I voted my conscience. That will have to do for now.

  13. David

    Things keep occurring to me. I was just considering my assertion above that both presidential candidates were losers. While I am certainly no fan of Obama, I am glad he won in at least one way:
    Had doddering old RINO John McCain won, I think it is entirely probable that, faced with the economic uncertainties we’ve had since November, McCain would have embarked upon an almost identical spending and nationalization plan to Obamas. In other words, i think McCain would have cooperated fully with Pelosi, Reid, Frank, Dodd, Schumer and the others in the house/senate.
    In so doing, this doddering old fool would have ensured the complete and irrevocable destruction of the Republican Party. I think that the only way the Republican Party can survive is through principled and resolute opposition to the actions presently being undertaken by Obama and the liberal maniacs in congress. And I think the liberals in congress and the media know this is the only way republicanism survives too. Else why would the media and liberals in congress give a damn and republican support for all this spending and nationalization? Democrats have the votes to do all of it without republican support, so why all the outrage? Simple: It would be suicide for the Republican Party to join this socialist takeover…the conservative vote would walk out and never look back.
    At least we got that going for us. As much as I detest what the Republican party has been recently under “leaders” like Bush, McCain, Graham, Specter and the other RINOs, that party will be the vehicle which carries the re-emergence of conservatism, most likely.
    If the Republican party supports and involves itself in the present liberal folly being led by Obama/Reid/Pelosi, it dies. And rightfully so.
    David

  14. Doug Ross

    Guero,
    Thanks for your insightful analysis.
    I’m about as far from a bubba as one can get.

  15. Guero

    A bubba by any other name is still a bubba. Dougie, you belong to the Repugnant Party. The regional party of angry bubbas ( I would say white but of course that’s redundant )which because of people like you, is doomed to minority status for the rest of your life.
    Now David belongs to the REALLY ignorant wing of y’alls party in that he doesn’t read. He thinks Mr. Warthen, who’s never voted for a Democratic Party candidate for President, is somehow transformed into a Democrat because he preferred Obama to Hillary.
    While both of y’all belong to a mythical ideology that has never existed in any President yet, David belongs to the part that thinks Pallin is a deep thinker.

  16. Bill C.

    Brad, I wouldn’t trust H&R Block with doing any better of a job than you would doing themselves. Two years ago I had a one-time sizable income payment from another state, H&R Block said I didn’t need to file a a separate state income tax return for that state… I disagreed, they called a “supervisor” who repeated to them what they told me. I said I’ll call the other state’s tax commissioner’s office. I did, and guess what, I 100% absolutely owed non-resident income tax in that state. Since then I’ve returned to doing my taxes with Turbo Tax… if you can’t follow their instructions, God help you.
    And while I’m on a tax rant, I don’t understand is why people would trust their taxes to idiots who stand out on the street in an Uncle Sam or Lady Liberty costume. I wouldn’t let them wash my car.

  17. David

    As astonishing and unbelievable as it may be Guero, I think you’re actually correct about one thing: Governor Palin IS the candidate I voted for in November.
    Being a deep thinker hasn’t been a requisite for winning the presidency for quite a long time. Are you attempting to make the case that Clinton was a deep thinker? Or that Obama is one?
    How deep must ones’ thoughts be if the only way he can think of to triumph over conservative opponents is to eliminate their ability to speak freely?
    David

  18. Faustd

    Oh. I guess your snippy and arrogant little slur was aimed at me. You weren’t making the deep thinker case about Obama. Apparently even YOU know that case cannot be made. The guy is a suit, and nothing more.
    In any event, if support for and belief in the kind of character and morality that Governor Palin embodied and stood for make me a shallow thinker in your mind, then damn straight: I’m an inch deep.
    David

  19. Doug Ross

    Sorry, Guero, my name won’t ever be associated with the Republican Party. Any party that can produce Lindsey Graham, George Bush, Ronald Reagan, Tom DeLay, Haley Barbour, Palin, Rudy G., McCain, etc. has no connection to my political views.
    I vote for leaders, not parties. Sanford, DeMint, Ron Paul. They are closer to my political philosophy. I still dream of Steve Forbes getting a real shot at the White House. He’s what we truly need.
    I imagine you either work for the government, for a lobbying firm, or for some other entity that depends on taking my money to put into your pocket.

  20. slugger

    I read most all of the post on the blog. I rarely post my opinion. There are those that post that I agree with totally and there are those on the blog that have an agenda that I do not agree with.
    There is only on fact that stands out concerning most issues posted by Brad on these blogs. To me he wants to spur you into conversation about the issues. He goes a little to the left and a little to the right to keep you all confined to the loop. Very smart on Brad’s part. Brad is hired to do exactly what he does. I am not here to praise Brad but to defend his right to get us involved in everyday events. He is the messenger. We are the combatants.
    The newspaper provides Brad and his salary to get the people involved in everyday events. He is merely giving us a platform to express our opinion.
    Having said all of that. I would like to say this in closing. There was an organization put in place to get Obama elected to do exactly what he has been doing for a little more than a month.
    We will no longer be a democratic republic but a socialist/communist country supported by the Muslims. Cuba is a perfect example of what can happen to a capitalist society. People like Obama, Nancy P., Frank and Reid and many others want this nation to be destroyed from within, they are the ones that want the credit for this accomplishment. The road to the destruction of our country is in the hands of a very few that need mental health.

  21. Guero

    I’m glad to see slugger gets it, I suppose Faux News finally let him know this: the Obama presidency was a giant conspircy to dupe 53% of the American voters. It’s ALL the illuminati. Geezzzzz….
    sluggo is a good argument for restricing the right to vote.
    The only mental health treatment needed here is for sluggo and his ilk.
    Besides being full of Repugnant Party rhetorical nonsense, he’s also factually challenged. Cuba was NEVER a capitalistic society. Cuba was a fascist state ruled by a dictator with corporate America/Europe, Bicardi,et al., as partners.
    As for Dougie, res ispsa loquitur. You make my case. Your heroes are Repugnants with the exception of Stormfront’s hero, Ron Paul.
    And, David, you are a dumb-arse. You still haven’t figured out Mr. Warthen has had a man-crush on McCain forever. He’s continued The State’s sorry tradition of last endorsing a Democratic candidate for President in 1948.

  22. Lee Muller

    That Barack Obama was socialist/communist his entire life is a documented fact.
    That Obama’s platform was based on racism, reparations, class warfare, and destruction of free market capitalism is also a documented fact.
    Obama’s legislative agenda follows his campaign – socialist, anti-American, and racist.

  23. Rich

    The ATM is no longer a good idea, if it ever was. We Americans are used to filing taxes with progressive nominal tax rates against income that are mitigated by deductions, exemptions, business expenses, etc. The net result is that we typically do not pay as much as we would otherwise.
    Also, deductions can foster certain kinds of behavior. Reagan, I think, was right to remove deductions for interest expenses on credit cards and cars; what he should have done was also eliminate the deduction for mortgage interest.
    People need to be realistic about homeownership. Not everybody has the ability or the income to manage owning a house. Renting is actually a pretty good deal, when you consider that somebody else cuts the grass and calls the plumber!
    I rent, and not because I have to. I have no debt and am sitting on a pile of cash that increases every month. Why? I live within my means. It’s really quite simple.
    Progressive taxation is the only fair way to pay for government. With the passage of the 16th amendment to the constitution, it should be clear to all bloggers that income taxation is perfectly legal.
    The question should now be, how do we rationalize the process so that everybody pays their fair share “from each according to his ability,” and then derives governmental benefits, “from each according to his need.”

  24. David

    Guero, where have you been, numb nuts? I have drug Warthens’ carcass over the coals remorselessly since June of last year because he’s been such a McCain sycphant. I just did it again above in regard to his hypocritical silence now about Obama when he was a shameless Obama cheerleader just 5 short months ago.
    And by the way, what is it exactly with your compulsion to call people names?
    Are you making up for some personality deficiency? Or are you just another billowing democrat liberal egotistical A-hole who, typically, can’t make his case without loud and meaningless vitriol…
    Either way, an A-hole is just an A-hole.
    David

  25. Joe

    Including Mr Warthen’s blog statements, Too many comments here are insulting and mean spirited, just spite and venom, instead of counter facts or sources for furthering enlightened discussion.
    How to be the most witty snotty seems to
    be the cult challenge for the virtual verbal bashers.
    Could this be a compulsive ego accolade moment in the radical egalitarian coffee shop nihilist psyche?
    Among the DWEMs of Old,
    Name calling in political dispute is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
    Support public duels. Thinkaboutit.

  26. Bart

    Joe,
    Dictionary, encyclopedia – full set, thesaurus, and laptops at dawn on steps of the Capitol Building. Weather permitting of course. However, you must choose a second from the following list.
    Lee Muller
    Capital A
    bud
    Doug Ross
    Birch will be the moderator.
    Subject: Brad Warthen

  27. slugger

    Returning tax rates on the rich to ’90s levels without the accompanying gains in productivity, in an effort to redistribute wealth, could result in a drag on the economy.
    “He’s going to need a growing economy . . . and tax measures that are aimed specifically at the productive part of the economy I don’t think helps,” Martin Regalia, the chief economist for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, said on Thursday.
    The above comment was taken from The State Newspaper today in the article about the budget by McClatchy Company. You have to grow the economy to get us out of this hole; however, we must remember that Obama wants Capitalism to fail.

  28. slugger

    Some states picking economy over environment regs
    By MATT GOURAS · The Associated Press
    Updated 03/02/09 – 5:12 AM |
    The call for economic stimulus is having an unintended side effect in places like Montana, where environmental protections are on the verge of being repealed in the name of jobs.
    The above article can be found in The Herald of Rock Hill. The entire article is about the economy and jobs coming ahead of environmental issues.

  29. Lee Muller

    Income tax rates in the USA are among the highest and most progressively punitive of any country in the industrialized world.
    Corporate profits are double taxed: once to the corporation, and again to the shareholders on the distribution of corporate after-tax income. In Europe, dividends are a deductible business expense.
    The top 3% of US taxpayers, who are only 1% of the population, pay the over 75% taxes. That is immoral, vicious, and a stupid system which is depressing our economy.

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