Just look down at your shoes and walk away, gov

Last night while channel-surfing and finding nothing good, I stopped for a moment on an old “Roseanne” episode. The plot was about as tacky as you can imagine: Roseanne was concerned about her daughter’s sex life, of all things, and was nagging her husband (John Goodman) to talk to the daughter’s husband about it (at least, I hope he was her husband).

Goodman, of course, refused. Under the Guy Code, that was not a permissible topic. Sports, cars, whatever, but not personal relationships. Roseanne was disgusted with him, but he was adamant.

Next scene, Goodman is in the breakroom at work, and another guy (I’m gathering he was Roseanne’s sister’s husband) starts trying to get a conversation going about relationships and sex. Finally, he’s so obvious about it that the daughter’s husband storms out, realizing the topic is his own sex life. Goodman reproaches the guy who brought up the topic, saying he knew Roseanne had put him up to it.

This causes an argument in which the other guy reveals something intimate that he knows about Goodman and his wife, and Goodman counters with something equally personal and inappropriate. Then he stops, shocked, and says something like “We know way too much.” A shocked pause, then he says (more or less), “There’s nothing to do now except to look down at our shoes and quickly walk away.”

Both men simultaneously break eye contact, jerking their heads downward to look at their feet, and walk quickly from the room via separate doors.

Which is what any man with any self respect would do. And it’s what Mark Sanford should have done some time ago — certainly before that bizarre interview that came out yesterday.

13 thoughts on “Just look down at your shoes and walk away, gov

    1. Joseph Craig

      Anyone know the name of that Roseanne Episode? I’ve been wondering about it for ages.

  1. Burl Burlingame

    I’m beginning to feel sorry for the governor. He seems to be in the grip of something beyond his control. Don’t let him drive the car.

  2. Karen McLeod

    Duct tape (across the mouth) can fix this. Seriously, I’m afraid he’ll go into his stubborn mode (remember the stimulus package?) and refuse to resign.

  3. Brad Warthen

    That’s another thing that real men understand without being told — duct tape will fix anything. That’s why I always keep a roll in the tool box in the back of my truck.

  4. kbfenner

    @Burl, I’m actually getting afraid for his personal safety. I sure wouldn’t get in the car with him or let my kids go with him if I were Jenny…

    I read that Tom Davis (the Tom Davis of Beaufort and one of the Tom Davises of the world) is either on his way or with the guv now. I really hope they are keeping a close watch on him physically, if they can.

  5. doug_ross

    If Sanford doesn’t give up his political career by the end of this week then he doesn’t deserve to see his sons again. Make a choice, Governor.

  6. martin

    So, you don’t think Tom Davis is one of the “male friends” he vacationed with? If he wasn’t, Sanford must have had the most amazingly compartmentalized life of all time. ‘course, that happens all the time.
    You could be just as wrong about Tom Davis as you were about Mark Sanford, you know.
    I’m not too worried about his safety. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s trying to shut every door to his marriage and his job so he can go off and be happy for the first time in his life. Somebody needs to tell him it’s OK to do that rather than live in the marital hell of obligation Cubby Culbertson is pushing.
    He just needs to do it fast and get us out of it.

  7. Randy E

    This is weird, unseemly, and as hypocritical as you can get.

    His stream of consciousness reminds me of Jim Carey in the movie Liar. Carey is put under a spell in which he can’t help but tell the truth. Of course, this truth telling comes after LYING to the nation about hiking, the number of bootie calls with Maria, and his dalliances with other women.

    By sharing about his soul mate and his sexcapades, he is throwing his sons under the bus. As I wrote from day 1, missing Father’s Day represented something serious.

    And what a freakin hypocrite. He wants Clinton and Livingston to resign for adultery then admits screwing around after his wife found out and getting to 2nd base with multiple women. All the while he was striking his holier than thou pose for the country.

    All this makes him a pathetic a-hole who deserves all that heart wrenching and the probable National Enquirer stalking he’s now getting.

  8. GayGrayGeek

    On the one hand, I’m Savouring The Schadenfreude. My husband and I had just moved to Columbia in the summer of 2006 when Marky Mark used us and our circle of friends as his “Boogety! Boogety! GAY MARRIAGE!” villains to get himself re-elected.

    On the other hand, what he’s putting Jenny and his sons through is completely uncalled for and, were I Jenny, totally unforgivable.

    He’s a narcissist’s narcissist, and needs to quit thinking of himself and only himself. For what would seem to be the first time in his life.

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