As you may or may not know, I am not one of your superfans of Gamecock football. Blame it on trauma inflicted over time by the hordes of fans, getting in my way.
The bane of my existence for many years — particularly that year I had Saturday duty back in the late 80s — has been the traffic that blocked me from getting to and from the newspaper building on certain fall weekends. I’m still suffering PTSD from a couple of Saturdays in 1987 when it took me a couple of hours to get to work (all-time worst instance was the time that, after a couple of hours of fuming in traffic, I finally got to within a block of the old newspaper building there on George Rogers, and a trooper threatened to arrest me if I didn’t turn around and drive AWAY from work).
Over the years, I have learned to avoid that traffic, mainly by staying on the other side of the river on game days. But the memory of those horrible Saturdays still rankles. One of the silver linings of losing my job was knowing that I would never have to contend with that madness again…
So imagine my horror when I’m trying to drive home from Memphis Saturday and I find myself caught in Gamecock traffic in the middle of Birmingham freaking Alabama!
It really snuck up on me. I had used Google Maps on my Blackberry to very cleverly avoid the traffic between Jasper and Birmingham, taking U.S. 78 (the part that is being revamped to become Interstate 22) all the way to the limit of construction, then cut back down Cherry Avenue to rejoin 78 for the last few blocks before getting on I-20. Just before stopping for gas there on 78, I had remarked to my wife, “Is that a real blimp, or one of those helium things that are tethered to a car dealer or something?” It looked awfully high-up to be tethered. But a blimp suggested a football game…
I put it out of my mind until I found myself standing still in the right lane several blocks from the I-20 intersection. I’ve seen traffic slow down at that point before, but there was something eccentric about this. Then I saw four airplanes in a diamond formation coming over the hills from the rough direction of Homewood, and spotted several flashing blue lights up ahead, and became suspicious enough to search for “bowl game Birmingham” on the Blackberry. I am SO not a football fan that I didn’t know whether Birmingham even had a bowl game; I was just inferring from the available evidence. I figured the odds were against it, but still… Immediately, I got a hit on the Papa John’s Bowl with USC vs. U.Conn. And the game was starting in about an hour.
I could not believe it. My poor wife, being stuck in the car with me at my moment of terrible realization…
Anyway, it only took 20 minutes to get onto 20, and after that it was smooth sailing. And I had the knowledge that I had a several-hour jump on the postgame homeward-bound Gamecock traffic.
But it was a nasty shock nonetheless.
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Back when I had an office job, running errands on Saturdays in the fall was h*ll on wheels, literally. I live next to the University. Between the football traffic, the perpetual foot races, the fair, parades, etc., I would try to figure out how to shop/exercise/whatever by using points from Five Points west…but sometimes the race crowds and road closings, combined with road construction, would conspire to render that very difficult.
Yes, one of the perks of not having regular work hours is the ability to largely avoid the madding and maddening crowds!
Sorry, Brad, it’s probably impossible to convey the interest in football that impregnated some of our souls since childhood. Even though I bemoan the effect of the huge amounts of resources that go into maintaining collegiate athletics at the expense of academics, I will still take in every bowl game I can. Which I guess explains why I eagerly accepted the invitation of a friend to come over and watch the Alamo Bowl last Saturday night until 2:00 a.m. (we don’t have cable TV at home).
My son has no interest in the sport, having grown up in Germany, but then he’ll watch soccer all night long, so I guess that’s the same thing.
I guess you sometimes just have to roll with the punches.
And if you think it’s tough being in a traffic jam with football fans, you ought to be on an all night train with a bunch of British football rowdys!
I did that once; I know what to avoid in the future when I’m in Europe.
Where did the term “bane of my existence come from”? My wife used to say that about our swimming pool.
Herb, you are definitely on to something. I feel sort of sorry for folks who don’t appreciate the emotional revelry associated with a good sporting event, especially football. As a gamecock fan the Sunday after the Clemson game was a great time to be alive. Then the horror of the Pizza bowl experiance vs. Connecticut was a cruel hoax. How could that happen. But for many folks, and there are plenty like Brad, the whole range of emotions that come from these events is something forever lost to the soul. And that’s a pity.
bud and Herb–lots of folks get thrills from opera, but they don’t cause quite the same impact on the environment around them!
Soccer doesn’t cause anywhere near the same head injury issues that American football does, although footballers in Europe appear to do their best to even that score!
And bud, as it happens, “bane” is related to a word I found myself looking up — “deodand.”
As our resident lawyer, perhaps Kathryn can explain deodands without looking it up.
Basically, it is something — an animal or some other valuable property — that causes a death, and was therefore forfeit under the law. “Deodand” is derived from the Latin for “to be given to God.” Basically, if your horse killed someone, the horse (or a cash equivalent) would be given up to the crown, which would then spend the money for some pious purpose. The practice ended in Britain in 1846, according to Wikipedia.
Prior to the Norman conquest, an animal causing injury or death was called a bane. Somewhere along the way, they became deodands instead.
Here’s a discussion of banes and deodands in Blackstone’s Commentaries on the Laws of England.
Weird facts of legal history to know and tell…