Ladies, forget Cosmo. We’re just not that complicated

A colleague shared with me this amusing post about what one can learn from Cosmopolitan about headline writing.

An excerpt:

Do you ask your audience mind-blowing questions?

As a reader, I appreciated how Cosmo asked me some thought-provoking, introspective questions. Do you do this with your readers?

Should You Be Gross Around Him?

What’s Up With Men Cheating Down?

Can Soy Harm your Fertility?

And finally, my favorite question:

Do You Work Too Damn Hard?

Um, not really. I just spent the whole afternoon reading Cosmo. But thanks for asking.

Of course, the only thing I know about Cosmo is the headlines that I see in the checkout line. Well, the headlines, and the come-hither babes on the cover.

And I am mystified that anyone would buy the magazine. Or rather, that anyone would buy one more than once. Because the lede headline is pretty much always about revealing the supposed mysteries of having a sexual relationship with a man. Like we’re complicated or something. Men and sex are about as complicated as a dog and his dinner bowl. Or, as the classic joke would have it:

How to Impress a Woman Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the earth and back for her. How to Impress a Man Show up naked. Bring beer.

And truth be told, it doesn’t have to be imported, or craft, or anything like that. Pretty much any old beer will do.

4 thoughts on “Ladies, forget Cosmo. We’re just not that complicated

  1. Debra

    Oh, now you tell me, after the kids and I spent time planning breakfast, baking a cake, buying gifts and fixing dinner for my husband’s birthday last weekend. It turns out that we were working waaaaaaaaaaay too hard.

  2. Bart


    Wait until you have been married to the same woman for almost 46 years. Please, no beer. Already getting up too many times during the night. Naked? Only if the lights are off. My wife shares the sentiment as well. Anyway, back when I was much, much younger, showing up with or without beer was fine with me as long as naked was involved!!! And the kids were sound asleep!!

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