Stan Dubinsky brings my attention to another bit of brilliance from The Onion. Of course, you have to have spent years of your life (years you’ll never get back!) as an editor to fully appreciate it:
Law enforcement officials confirmed Friday that four more copy editors were killed this week amid ongoing violence between two rival gangs divided by their loyalties to the The Associated Press Stylebook and The Chicago Manual Of Style. “At this time we have reason to believe the killings were gang-related and carried out by adherents of both the AP and Chicago styles, part of a vicious, bloody feud to establish control over the grammar and usage guidelines governing American English,” said FBI spokesman Paul Holstein, showing reporters graffiti tags in which the word “anti-social” had been corrected to read “antisocial.” “The deadly territory dispute between these two organizations, as well as the notorious MLA Handbook gang, has claimed the lives of more than 63 publishing professionals this year alone.” Officials also stated that an innocent 35-year-old passerby who found himself caught up in a long-winded dispute over use of the serial, or Oxford, comma had died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Even though I’ve spent decades of my life governed by AP style, I’ve never considered the serial comma to be, necessarily, an abomination against God and all that is right.
But I’m a rebel.
Having the background I have, I considered the above item funnier than the other piece from The Onion Stan shared today, “Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed“…
In my younger years I was a bound to that notorious “MLA handbook gang.” I barely escaped with my sanity–I still have flashbacks.
The serial comma will not be tolerated.
Serial commas are like serial killers. They must be stopped!
I like periods outside quotation marks, calling exclamation marks exclamation points, and serial commas. I kinda like those upside-down question mark things they use in Spanish as well. ¿Tiene un nombre?