Since he’s opposed by Moe and Larry, mayor should change his name to ‘Curly’

stooges

Just passing that on. I didn’t come up with it; it was mentioned to me by a local attorney.

It arises from the fact that Mayor Steve Benjamin is being opposed for re-election by Councilman Moe Baddourah and former FBI analyst Larry Sypolt.

If the mayor would only make this one little change, think of all the great national coverage the campaign would get.

It’s meant to be. There’s already a major heading in the Wikipedia page about Larry, Moe and Curly headlined, “The Columbia Years.” I am not making this up…

25 thoughts on “Since he’s opposed by Moe and Larry, mayor should change his name to ‘Curly’”

      1. Silence

        Well, that’s true. Could we find a “Shemp” or a “Curly Joe” to run for mayor as well?

        Also, this brings up a good question: What other famous group of 7 is the best match for city council, and why?

        Seven Dwarves?
        Seven Deadly Sins?
        Seven Wonders of the World?
        G7?

          2. Mark Stewart

            Well, scratch the word famous. You were headed in a different direction. I was looking for a parallel – with an instructive bite.

        2. Brad Warthen Post author

          I would not vote for Shemp, or Curly Joe. OK, maybe for Shemp, since he was legit. He was actually the original third Stooge, but he quit and his (and Moe’s) little brother Curly joined them.

          But Curly Joe was just a desperation move…

    2. Mab

      I’d click to come back and see a reply to that from Silence. It would challenge his motives to a level that may blow his brains up in composing a non-Jew-hating, yet vanilla and apparently intelligent response.

      Worth every hit penny of revenue.

      Go!

      2. Silence

        @Mab, everything that comes after the “ben” would be his father’s name, and “ha Levi” means that he’s a Levite, so that roughly translates to: Yehudah the Levite son of Shlomo Natan the Levite. Since one’s status as a Levite is determined patrilineally, it follows that of course Curly would have been a Levite, since his father was. Therefore, the Lev is redundant in his name.

        As everyone knows, the Levites are one of the priestly classes, and assisted the Kohanim back in the days of the Hebrew temples. Nowadays, the Kohane takes the first “Aliyah” or call to the Torah, during that portion of the Saturday service. The Levite takes the second aliyah, traditionally.
        The rabbi or gabbi would call “Curly” to the bimah for his aliyah, saying: “Ya’amod Yehuda ben Shlomo Natan haleivi.” Curly would come up to the “dias” or “bimah”, say a prayer, gather the corner of one side of his prayer shawl or “Tallis”, touch the location in the Torah that is about to be read, and then kiss the corner of his tallis.

        At that point, Curly would generally knock over a can of paint, hit Moe with a ladder or create some other mayhem, causing Moe to poke him in the eye, or hit him over the head with a mallet, and then of course Curly would retaliate against Moe. He would run in place, bark like a dog, or bite Moe. This would invariably interrupt and preclude the rest of the torah portion for the day, and Larry would be forced to host a nice kiddush luncheon to soothe the communities anger about the Stooge’s hijinx.

        They’d drink a little Manischewitz, eat some challah (egg bread), and possibly some macaroons, and all would be forgiven until next week when the minyan needed Curly’s services as a Levi again, when the sequence would repeat itself.

        1. Silence

          @Mab – I hope you have sufficiently enjoyed my non-jew hating, vanilla and intelligent reply. Now, I wish I knew what my own motives were…

        3. Doug Ross

          Still searching for that lost Three Stooges short: “Bris Way Did They Go?” as Moe-yel performs the tradition ceremony using a crowbar and oversized scissors.

        4. Mab

          Vurry good. Much progress — so much so that MY brain is challenged — though not fatally, which is…vurry good (spoken in that peculiar authoritative Charleston military vernacular).

          P.S. challah means not only egg bread, but OFFERING bread, in true Levitical tradition.

          1. Silence

            Thanks Mab! I was calling challah “egg bread” merely as a descriptive term, since that’s what Publix markets it as. We could go into a full rabbinical explanation of the kiddush, and also include some gefilte fish, thrown in for good measure. Make sure you wash your hands.

            @ Doug – I’m also looking for that short. If anyone can find a clip of it, please offer it up. I have circumed to my curiousity and want to watch it.
            OK, I’m running out of bris jokes now.

  4. Silence

    I never thought I’d say this, but:
    Mayor Curly Benjamin is a lot like Gene Simmons, the founder, bassist and co-lead vocalist of the band KISS. The one with the demon make up. (As a side note, Gene Simmons is Jewish, was born in Israel to a Holocaust survivor, and his real name is Chaim Witz – so take that Jerome Lester Horwitz) Both Gene and Steve have been known to Rock and Roll All Night, both men were Made For Loving You, and Mayor Benjamin seems to be turning Columbia into Detroit (Rock City).

    Gene has now recruited an Arena League Football team to his hometown of Los Angeles – “The L.A. Kiss”. His efforts roughly parallel the efforts of Mayor Steve Benjamin to bring Salley League baseball to Columbia.

    If the rumors are true, the single-A division Savannah Sand Gnats will be relocating, and will become known as the “Columbia Crash”. As taxpayers, we’ll have no choice but to Lick it Up.

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