Casting call? Can’t their people just call my people?

I’ve been hanging on since last week to this notice:

And I’m thinking, who would be better qualified than I?

I’ve got the acting chops, and extensive experience in the actual, real-life political world. “House of Cards” has characters who are bloggers and newspaper editors; I am or have been both. As for Washington experience, I used to supervise reporters in Washington; shouldn’t that count?

Uh-oh. The Hill says:

The casting call announcement advises “House of Cards” hopefuls to come “camera ready” in their “best upscale attire.” Men are asked to “use hair product,” while the ladies should “have your hairstyle and makeup applied as we will be taking your photos for you.”

Dang. I don’t “use hair product,” and can’t we just use this picture below that Kelly Payne took of me at the state GOP convention earlier this month? I mean, the fact that it was taken at such an event, by someone who has actually run for office in South Carolina (which Kevin Spacey has only pretended to do), should count for something.

In fact, why do I even have to show up for a cattle call? Just have your people call my people…

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24 thoughts on “Casting call? Can’t their people just call my people?

  1. Brad Warthen Post author

    Wait… that story says they’re looking for black tie.

    OK, it’s an oldie, but how about this shot of me with Dan Quayle? I think I’m telling him, “Sir, in South Carolina, we dress for dinner!”


    1. Bob Amundson

      You didn’t need a haircut, you just needed some “hair product.” Experience, portfolio, “camera ready”: CHECK. Hair product: NO CHECK.

      1. Kathryn Fenner

        Brad is probably like my husband. Their hair is sort of self-styling. Comb it in place when it’s wet, and it tends to stay there.

        1. Brad Warthen Post author

          Yup. Comb it over while wet, and it’s there for the day.

          Hey, when I’m a Hollywood heartthrob, a tidbit like that will be worth a magazine cover story…

          I’ll try to remember all of y’all when I hit it big…

      2. Brad Warthen Post author

        Oh, and I definitely need a trim there. Can’t you see that unseemly clump of hair growing out of the back of my neck?

        Either a cut, or grow it to shoulder length…

    2. Doug Ross

      How tall is Lindsey? 5’8″? I know I’m taller than you are and you appear to have a couple inches on him.

        1. Brad Warthen Post author

          It’s funny how I sometimes don’t perceive people’s actual heights until I see a picture such as this.

          It’s like — if a woman is tall for a WOMAN, I’ll think of her as taller than I am — and then see us standing side-by-side, and realize she isn’t. Although occasionally, she IS, and then I perceive her as being at least 6-5 or something.

          The mind plays tricks.

        2. Brad Warthen

          I mean, LOOK at me! I’m standing next to perhaps the most celebrated warrior of his generation (pre-scandal), and my shoulders are at least 50 percent broader than his!

          I didn’t realize that I was SUCH a he-man. I mean, I suspected it, but…

    1. Brad Warthen Post author

      Yep. That’s been pointed out before. And I can see it.

      I had this one friend back in the 70s who used to compare me to Richard Thomas — you know, John-Boy Walton. I didn’t see that at ALL. I think she meant he had a similar vibe or something, because there was no physical resemblance.

        1. Bill

          Never seen the show,but let’s be real,Nick still has the best hair and songs in rock and roll=

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