And even though he says he expects people to make jokes about it, I’m going to resist the temptation to speculate that he’s been walking too close to the Tea Party.
Because to me, there’s nothing funny about snakes:
Rep. Kirkman Finlay, R-Richland, has been bitten by a snake but is doing fine and is recovering.
“My ankle is swollen up the size of a pumpkin, or more like an eggplant,” said Finlay, who was bitten Sunday evening around dusk while he was out walking with his wife, Kathleen, near their house in the Hampton Hill neighborhood.
Finlay did what people are supposed to do when they are bitten by a snake — he went promptly to a hospital emergency room, where he was hooked up to heart monitor and other measures were quickly taken to be ready to counter any adverse reaction….
The snake attack happened very suddenly, he said.
“All I saw was a flash out of the bottom of my eye, and I felt like I’d been stung by about 10 wasps.”…
It was either a copperhead, or some kind of rat snake — we call them chicken snakes,” he said. “It was a small snake and only got one fang in.”…
I wouldn’t think a rat snake would cause a reaction like that. I mean, the difference between that and a copperhead is kind of like night and day — isn’t it?
Anyway, I hope he recovers quickly…
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Since he’s going to be OK, I’ll make the joke: Finlay will be fine, but the snake succumbed within 90 seconds.
I thought snakes didn’t bite politicians out of professional courtesy
Doug, please don’t insult our no-legged friends!
The really terrible thing here is that I was getting all that great sympathy on account of my head wound, and now he goes and upstages me this way.
What can I do to myself that beats a snake bite? Whatever it is, it’s probably something I don’t want to do…
Animal attacks ranked:
1. Shark attack
2. Lion/tiger (other big cat) attack
3. Bear attack
4. Swarm of bees
5. Snake bite
Bees! Reminds me of that scene from Tommy Boy:
http://tinyurl.com/b2ek52t
Snake bite below swarm of bees? I don’t think so…
Perhaps people are more likely to encounter bees?
Fire ants should be on the list.
Brad, if you want to jump back into the lead, I have two words for you: Vampire bite.
Now you see, that’s just the kind of radical solution I was seeking to avoid.
I’d make a terrible vampire, since I get woozy over a blood test. I’d be all like, bite somebody on the neck, pass out; bite somebody on the neck, pass out…
Well, if you don’t like vampire bite, i guess werewolf bite is out of the question too. I suppose losing an arm in a combine or a stamping press would shift things back to your favor. You might be able to get a dismemberment benefit, and there’s no residual vampire feeding requirements. I’m still rooting for vampire, though.
Have you considered Zombies?
Seems like a long-term commitment.
Yeah. When it comes to getting bitten by a zombie, I think I’d just let Kirkman HAVE the glory, and welcome to it.
I wouldn’t let a zombie bite me. I am a student of the Daryl school of zombie-killing, and I’d be ready for them. First thing I’ll do when the zombie apocalypse comes is head straight for a sporting goods store and get me a good crossbow. And LOTS of bolts for it.
Turns out I’m probably genetically predisposed to be really good at killing zombies that way.
This is a true story…
Back when I was living in Memphis, shortly after my wife and I got married and got an apartment and a phone in our name, a stranger called me. She was a genealogist, and was studying the “Wathen” family. She thought we Warthens might be members of the clan. She said they were originally Flemish but settled in England after the king granted the family land in Northumbria.
Here comes the cool part…
She said the clan received that royal favor after having rendered invaluable services to the crown in a recent war (I don’t think she specified which one; I want to say the War of the Roses, but then I think maybe it was earlier), on account of being “past masters with the crossbow.”
How cool is THAT?
Well, as cool as it sounded, I had to tell her that she was probably barking up the wrong family tree, as my understanding was that the Warthens were Welsh. She said one way to know whether we were related to the Wathens was whether we had settled in Montgomery County, Maryland.
That sort of stunned me. The Warthens have been from Montgomery County as far back as I can trace the line with any certainty. My Dad is from Kensington.
So… the story COULD be true…
Rat snakes aren’t poisonous and they look nothing like copperheads. Glad he rushed to get medical help.
More damned statistics:
http://www.businessinsider.com/cdc-report-on-opioid-painkiller-prescribing-2014-7