Monthly Archives: April 2012

Santorum could beat Obama — at bowling. Can Romney say the same?

Mitt Romney has, from the start, based his candidacy for the nomination on the claim that he’s the guy who could beat Obama, if anyone can.

But now we have proof that Santorum could easily beat the president at one thing — bowling.

The ex-senator has been putting in time in some bowling alleys lately. The only actual score I’ve f0und was a 152, which Bloomberg calls “respectable.” Which it is. That’s all it is, but it is that. A guy who can’t go out and roll a 150 basically shouldn’t bowl in front of cameras. That’s about what my average was when I was in a league in high school in Tampa.

“Respectable” is not a term anyone would use to describe the president’s skills at this game. So Santorum should have really played this up from the start.

Here’s video of him rolling a turkey. And if you don’t know what a turkey is, you shouldn’t bowl for money against Santorum. Or me, even though I haven’t bowled seriously in more than 40 years.

According to The New York Times, Santorum even managed to work in a communitarian theme while at the alley:

In an interview about his bowling background, Mr. Santorum referred to the famous book about bowling as a thread in the fabric of small-town America, “Bowling Alone,” by Robert D. Putnam, a professor of history at Harvard.

“ ‘Bowling Alone’ is about the breakdown of social capital in this country,” he said. “People used to come together in leagues and groups. Bowling is a social sport. You talk and eat and drink and are together. It’s a commitment to go every week. My dad bowled in a league, and I went with him. He was a lefty. We went on league night, it was part of my childhood.”

I had to laugh at this site, though, which breathlessly stated that “He even has his own bowling ball.” Oh, yeah? So do I. Doesn’t everybody? And in my younger days I had my own two-piece pool cue. Didn’t make me Minnesota Fats.

Yeah, Joe, because you really need help beating Phil Black

Just had to shake my head over this appeal from Joe Wilson:

Dear Friends,

Our South Carolina primary is on June 12th. That’s 73 days away. And tonight is our fundraising deadline for this quarter — there’s only 12 hours left to give. I need your help today as we get closer to the primary.

This is actually the last fundraising quarter before the primary. That’s why this one is so critical. Will you give $12 today?

I’m honored by the continued support across the Second District and the new support I have in Aiken through redistricting. Please donate today. Your donation will help us ensure a strong victory in June.

Sincerely,

Joe

P.S. With 12 hours left to fundraise for the last quarter before our June 12 primary, will you give $12 today?

Here’s the thing about that. Aside from the fact that Joe’s probably already drowning in money from the “You lie!” incident, he’s going to coast to victory in his primary with a dime being spent.

His only opposition is a nice guy named Phil Black, who has run against Joe before but failed to make any sort of impression on the electorate. Which is too bad, because like me, he favors a single-payer health care system. Which is another reason he’s not winning a GOP primary in Lexington County, the district’s gravitational center.

To his credit, Joe backhandedly admits that he doesn’t need the money for “victory;” he says he wants it to “ensure a strong victory.” You know, just to make absolutely sure that poor Phil is totally crushed.

I guess Joe just wants people to give token amounts of money to keep them in the habit of supporting him. Giving money to Joe is kind of like putting one of his signs in your yard. It’s the impression of support that it creates, rather than any material aid provided. Perhaps he hopes it will generate a habit of loyalty.