Actually, I’m sort of forcing the indignation there. They think men are about as stupid as they actually are. The fact that AR-15s, which allow grown men to pretend they are bada__ soldiers, sell like hotcakes proves that point.
Lately, I only see the kinds of commercials I used to see on television in three places — on YouTube, on Hulu and on game apps on my phone.
A couple of times lately on one of the apps, I’ve been fed an ad for something called — and I am not making this up — “tactical pants.” I don’t know what that means. Perhaps they have a special zipper that helps you pee from a defilade. Or something.
But the part that really drives home the stupid is the video bit where the guy looks like he’s trying to stab himself in the crotch with a sharp knife. See below.
Oh, yeah, I need me some of those…
Actually, wait… $29.99? That’s pretty reasonable for a pair of really sturdy pants. And you say they’re waterproof?… Well, then, let’s not be so quick to scoff…
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If you scroll down on the page of the website, you see that the pants feature something called “3D TALLORING.”
Well, I don’t know what “talloring” is, but it apparently achieves this important goal: “EFFECTIVELY STRENGTHEN THE TROUSERS’ STRENGTH AND MOVEMENT RANGE.”
It strengthens the strength? Well, you can’t beat that, huh?
I wear shorts year-round unless something serious is happening.Just looking at those brings on the claustrophobia…
https://actionslacks.bandcamp.com/track/the-scenes-out-of-sight
I’m with you Bill. Shorts and a T-shirt or knit shirt year round. Still work at home and perfect office attire – for me. Kinda like the character on NCIS: Los Angeles. Feels weird when I have to don long trousers and a regular shirt. I guess one could describe my wardrobe as “tactical” since my wife’s health condition requires the heat be much higher than usual but so far no ninja attacks requiring a reinforced crotch and knee pads.
Let me know if you find any tactical suits for days I have to go to court.
Check!
I’m wondering: Would a regimental tie be the thing to wear with a tactical suit? I like a nice Guards tie. But I’m not sure those measure up to the sharp-knife test…
Ben Silver is great. Next time we get together, I’ll tell you a good Ben Silver story involving a Charleston judge.
Kevlar, in case it’s a nasty divorce?
I’ve never had the desire or need to slash at my groin with a chef’s knife nor to club myself in the knee with a barbwire club. My Levis serve me well enough for most of my tactical endeavors.
These don’t help if you get kicked in the ‘nads except when it’s with golf shoes.