‘Tactical pants?’ How stupid do they think men are?


Actually, I’m sort of forcing the indignation there. They think men are about as stupid as they actually are. The fact that AR-15s, which allow grown men to pretend they are bada__ soldiers, sell like hotcakes proves that point.

Lately, I only see the kinds of commercials I used to see on television in three places — on YouTube, on Hulu and on game apps on my phone.

A couple of times lately on one of the apps, I’ve been fed an ad for something called — and I am not making this up — “tactical pants.” I don’t know what that means. Perhaps they have a special zipper that helps you pee from a defilade. Or something.

But the part that really drives home the stupid is the video bit where the guy looks like he’s trying to stab himself in the crotch with a sharp knife. See below.

Oh, yeah, I need me some of those…

Actually, wait… $29.99? That’s pretty reasonable for a pair of really sturdy pants. And you say they’re waterproof?… Well, then, let’s not be so quick to scoff…


10 thoughts on “‘Tactical pants?’ How stupid do they think men are?

  1. Brad Warthen Post author

    If you scroll down on the page of the website, you see that the pants feature something called “3D TALLORING.”

    Well, I don’t know what “talloring” is, but it apparently achieves this important goal: “EFFECTIVELY STRENGTHEN THE TROUSERS’ STRENGTH AND MOVEMENT RANGE.”

    It strengthens the strength? Well, you can’t beat that, huh?


    1. Bart

      I’m with you Bill. Shorts and a T-shirt or knit shirt year round. Still work at home and perfect office attire – for me. Kinda like the character on NCIS: Los Angeles. Feels weird when I have to don long trousers and a regular shirt. I guess one could describe my wardrobe as “tactical” since my wife’s health condition requires the heat be much higher than usual but so far no ninja attacks requiring a reinforced crotch and knee pads.

      1. Bryan Caskey

        Ben Silver is great. Next time we get together, I’ll tell you a good Ben Silver story involving a Charleston judge.

  2. Norm Ivey

    I’ve never had the desire or need to slash at my groin with a chef’s knife nor to club myself in the knee with a barbwire club. My Levis serve me well enough for most of my tactical endeavors.


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