My apparent cousin Ben Worthen had an interesting piece in the WSJ this morning about how stepped-up security measures at airports are making it harder for chefs to smuggle foreign meat products in their pants.

Really.

This inspires several comments:

• First, some of you foodies have really lost control. You are bereft of any sense of proportion or priorities. This is decadent in the extreme. It’s perverse. Get over it. Stop being such slaves to your stomachs. Smuggling goose liver? Come on, people. See if you can understand what I’m about to say: We have all the food we need right here in this country. If no one in America ever gets to eat these esoteric morsels, we’ll be just fine. Now step away from the foie gras terrine…
• Second, we should examine our meat importation regulations to see if they’re reasonable. On the surface, it seems perfectly reasonable, as a public safety measure, to require that any imported meat be processed at a U.S.-approved facility. The “unintended consequence” of preventing the importation of obscure items from little villages seems completely acceptable to me. Once again, nobody, but nobody, needs this stuff. It’s just a way for people with too much money to throw it away…
• Third, you should go have a long talk with Emile DeFelice. Put your state on your plate. Go read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver et al. And let those little villages in Europe have their special little gastronomic delights (if that, indeed, is what they are). The reason these chefs are smuggling this stuff is so they can reverse-engineer these foods and produce it themselves and make a lot of money from it. They are stealing what makes those little villages special. How is that a good thing?

Much more could be said, but I’ll stop there for now…