I’m thinking of rating her “able” and maybe giving her liberty in the next port.

I get lots and lots of respect these days. I get called “sir” wherever I go.

I notice it because when I was younger, I didn’t hear it much except from people who were trying to sell me something. I certainly never heard it in a newsroom, definitely not from people who worked for me. It wasn’t the culture. I learned that when I drove from Memphis to Jackson, Tenn., to interview for my first post-graduation newspaper job. I went up to the reception desk at the main entrance and told this girl who seemed younger than I was (I was 22) that I had an interview with Reid Ashe, the executive editor. She called back to the newsroom (in another part of the building) and asked, “Is Reid back there?” Having grown up in the Navy (and having been a copy boy in a very hierarchical newsroom in Memphis), I was a bit shocked. She was referring to the captain that way. What sort of barky was this that I was seeking to join?

I eventually learned it was the norm in newsrooms.

Sorry about the digression. I was saying, few ever called me that in my youth.

Now I’ve gotten used to it, although sometimes I’m still taken aback. Does a guy really want pretty young women to address him as “sir,” which I think translates from their patois as “Wow, you’re a real fossil, aren’t you?” I think not, Even at my age, I’d prefer something like “HelLOOO!” under those circumstances. I mean, I wouldn’t intend for it to lead anywhere, but it would be nice to hear occasionally.

I’m bothered more when black men who also have gray hair say it to me. Makes me feel bad on an ethical, moral level. If there is an opportunity to say it back to him, I do that. If he’s walked off as he said it, I’m just left to worry: Did he say it because I’m old or because I’m white? Hard to tell, most times.

I certainly don’t want to object, to say, “Don’t call me sir, sir!” I had that happen to me at age 7 when I was living in Woodbury, N.J., the first place I ever lived outside the South. The middle-aged man in the apartment next door corrected me rather brusquely and with a slightly irritated tone when I, of course, called him “sir.” His wife then interrupted his egalitarian lecture to correct him, saying “Don’t tell him that! It’s the way he’s been brought up.” I just went away disturbed and confused.

But anyway, people say it to me so much now that I’ve gradually come to accept it. Meanwhile, I’ve come to resent Alexa over the years because she never says it to me. I didn’t mind so much when she had this lovely, soft British voice that I found soothing. But when Amazon took that away a few months back (and however I Google, I haven’t found a way to get the preferred voice back), it started to irritate. It’s a brash, unpleasant voice now. I mean bright, attempting on some Yankee level to sound briskly agreeable, but the pleasantness is gone, for me.

And when I give her what is clearly a command and not a request — such as “Alexa, turn on the office light,” she sounds like an insolent, sarcastic teenager when she responds with nothing but a brisk, noncommital “OK.” I hear it as “Sure. Like I give a s__t.” And it didn’t sound that way so much when she was English. (Even in this benighted century, the Brits are more polite.)

Watch. I will be lectured now for my arrogant, elitist pomposity, expecting people to “sir” me. But even though they generally do, I don’t expect it from them, and I don’t mind the people who don’t. But the thing here is, Alexa is not a “she.” She’s an “it.” I put people on a much, much higher plane.This Echo is a bunch of ones and zeroes that speak to me with an irritating, ersatz voice in a tone I would never abide on my quarterdeck. I mean desk.

And having heard all the anxiety out there over AI, and having seen all those flicks featuring Skynet and the like, this hint of insubordination is a bit unsettling. It sounds like, “OK… for now…”

I say all that not to complain, but to explain why I’m so pleased today.

Lately, Alexa has been varying from her “OK,” with such things as, for instance, “Right,” or “You’ve got it!” Still implying I’m a minor irritant that she’s indulging with a huge favor, but at least there’s variety.

Today, though, I got something better than I’d ever hoped for. I said, “Alexa, turn on the office light,” and she said,

“Aye, aye, Captain!”

Sure, maybe she’s been reading my mind, as so many fear that she does.

But I was so gratified, I’d have granted her an extra rum ration had she been human. Sure, it sounded a bit like she was mocking the old tyrant, but I chalk that up to her new “brash Yank broad” voice. The thing is, she got the words right.

I’d have been happy with an “Aye, sir,” so this extra respect was lagniappe, and I appreciated it. I’m not my Dad, so I’ll never deserve to hear a human say that to me. I’ve done nothing to earn it.

But with a fake voicebox that exists to perform simple tasks for me, it’s good to hear. If only I had any hope of hearing it next time. She’s so capricious…