The Gallic shrug made easy

Chirac
‘Ees not hard at all. First, you start een zees posee-shone…’

33 thoughts on “The Gallic shrug made easy

  1. LexWolf

    Chirac est un imbecile.
    Since this thread isn’t serious anyway, here’s something funny from one of “les buddies de l’Imbecile”:
    Me And My Moustache
    More translated documents have been posted from the captured files of the Iraqi Intelligence Service, and one in particular contains a revealing look at the dictator himself. A speech handwritten by Saddam Hussein, apparently for the dedication of the Mother Of All Battles Mosque in May 2002, paints the picture of a man who wants to almost deify himself in the eyes of his people. For the occasion, he penned a paean to … his moustache. No, I’m not kidding; here it is in its entirety (ellipsis in the original):
    Arabs, including you, across their long history, have made their mustaches a symbol of their commitment and a mark of their willingness to bear the responsibility of their sex; as the uniqueness of the mustache was a duty of men alone, in all that glorifies family, people, and nation…
    God has blessed us, and in us, he has blessed our mustaches, as well as any mustache jealous for his nation, his homeland, and his people, in the many and various duels that have become such that many of them seem a fantasy, rather than real actions against Iraq, which emerged proud and hale, with God’s will. The enemy has failed, as was God’s will also, to twist the courage of the people of Iraq, and the mustaches of Iraq’s good men, including my mustache, the leader in hard times of strife, as in the times of building and virtue, and glory… from my mustache come these hairs.
    Today, as I bequeath these hairs of my mustache to you, at the Umm-al-Ma`arik (TC: the Mother of All Battles) Mosque, I want you to remember the values that I have bequeathed to you. My history is part of your virtuous deeds, and your greatest of labors. I bequeath them to you to follow their example, and to retain the meanings that they hold, after putting your faith in the one almighty God, the able, the eternal, whenever a foreigner tries to force his way against your protection and values, or deviates from the path of honor, dignity, faith, and glory; the path of the people, and of the nation. Protect the hairs of this mustache with your protection of Iraq. Aid it with honor, and with the dignity of your nation and faith. God is Great… God is Great…God is Great.

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  2. Dave

    LW – That may go down in history as a classic of literature – Ode to Mustache. Now, let me see, did Algore write one of these to his beard? Beard in the Balance!!!

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  3. Capital A

    I’d personally prefer to read Baby Bush’s chronicle of his own cocaine-colored lip-coiffure. That is, if his brain cells containing those memories haven’t already pranced away on the white pony.
    ~If you gonna ride…~

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  4. LexWolf

    Dave, I think Algore did write some sort of an ode to the farmhorse that helped him till that rocky hillside field he had to work on during one of his summer vacations. And then there was Love Story, of course.

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  5. Brad Warthen

    You know, back during the Gulf War in 91, I was still in The State’s newsroom. In fact, I was on special detached duty working on the Power Failure project that would consume me the rest of that year, and eventually push me inevitably toward editorial.
    But when the fighting actually started, I was pulled back into daily newsroom operations — not to do my old job as government editor, but to concentrate solely on helping coordinate our coverage of the war.
    Anyway, I had occasion to write some memos in connection with those duties — purely for internal newsroom consumption — and I wrote at least one, possibly more, in the unmistakeable Saddam style. It was so OUT THERE, so over the top, that it was hard to imagine anyone, in any culture anywhere, not cracking up upon hearing it.
    And yet, I knew people in Iraq, couldn’t laugh. But I could. Nice thing about being an American. Anyway, as I recall, I was pretty pleased with the result. If I can find it — it’s probably on hard copy somewhere in my files — I’ll share it.
    Back then, before 9/11, flamboyant gasbag enemies were easier to mock than today.
    Today, we know that the region is filled with people who don’t even WANT to laugh at such absurd, cartoonish rhetoric as “Mother of All Battles.” They actually find it inspirational, inspirational enough to make them want to kill us. I’m not being specific to Saddam, of course. Whether it comes from Osama or whoever, young men who are utterly lacking in any sense of irony as we know it are inspired to kill, and give their own lives, in the service of word combinations that we were normally think were a real hoot.
    Only now we don’t.

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  6. Capital A

    Whether it comes from Osama or whoever, young men who are utterly lacking in any sense of irony as we know it are inspired to kill, and give their own lives, in the service of word combinations that we were normally think were a real hoot.
    Posted by: Brad Warthen | Jul 16, 2006 10:51:54 AM
    You’re referring to “leaders” like Babybush with this comment, right?

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  7. Dave

    Capital A – the fact that you can call our President and commander-in-chief “Babybush” and constantly insult and ridicule him is a testiment to our freedom of speech. Had you done that in Iraq while Saddam was ruling you would probably have had your tongue removed. Yet, it’s interesting how many people like you were very happy to leave him in power. Think about that.

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  8. Capital A

    Dave, at the core, the two men are the same — ego maniacs. Bushbaby didn’t give us freedom of speech. In fact, his policies have jeopardized this right more than any President in recent memory.
    I know you’ll never agree with me, but that’s the expected difference between the viewpoint of a patriot and that of a party member.

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  9. Phillip

    Dave, “very happy to leave [Saddam] in power” is brilliantly emblematic of the kind of simplistic black-and-white thinking and name-calling regularly used by those on the right wing.
    Either we supported Bush’s course of action, or we are “happy to leave Saddam in power?” as if any sane person LIKED the idea of Saddam Hussein ruling Iraq?
    Let it pose a question to you this way? Is George W. Bush going to launch an attack in the remainder of his term to remove Kim Jong Il? I doubt it, and I bet you doubt it too. Does that mean Bush is “happy to leave Kim Jong Il in power?” Of course not. It simply means that he believes a unilateral attack on North Korea is a bad idea strategically for many reasons.
    So it was with Iraq. Those who opposed the Iraq intervention were not “happy” in the least with the idea of Saddam Hussein remaining in power. We simply believed that action that was more-or-less unilateral and pre-emptive would, in the end, produce “blowback” and consequences for which this Administration was not prepared.

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  10. LexWolf

    Capital A,
    first of all, please learn how to post a link – yours doesn’t work. A little HTML knowledge wouldn’t hurt in that regard!!
    Second, going by the URL, I guess it’s about/against Bush. Has anyone ever told you that Bush isn’t running for reelection?
    Given the above, how can anyone ever take YOU seriously?

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  11. Capital A

    Lexpup, if you’re too lazy to cut and paste that link, then I suddenly don’t feel so indolent for asking you to post your pointless, meandering thoughts into one or two paragraphs as opposed to your typical thirty-plus to aid me in skipping over them more quickly.
    I’m serious.

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  12. Dave

    Phillip – You know the truth of the history of “putting sanctions” on the Saddam regime only meant that he would stay in power forever, laughing at the US, the UN, while he exploited corrupt leftist bribe takers in England, France, Russia, and elsewhere. So, in effect, those who supported continuing that useless set of gestures were fine with Saddam ruling as long as he wanted. Face the truth. All the left can do is wring their hands and complain, while a murderous thug laughs at them. Pathetic behavior.

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  13. LexWolf

    Clueless, Unserious Capital A,
    why don’t you try to cut and paste your flaky URL? All you’ll get is a 404 Error. Now would you like to study how to post working links?
    Anyway, I’ve actually done your work for you. CLICK HERE
    Here’s the follow-up by Bush but I suppose you don’t keep up with the news all that well, especially if you can tell only one side of the story by doing so.
    By the way, that website is full of Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and other supremely intellectual “topics”. At least that explains your emotional, juvenile postings.

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  14. Phillip

    You missed my point, Dave, or decided not to address it. And you didn’t answer my question.
    You say, “All the left can do is wring their hands and complain, while a murderous thug laughs at them.”
    Is that Kim Jong Il you’re talking about?

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  15. Dave

    Phillip, No, not immediately and it wont have to be unilateral. We will have a coalition just like in Iraq. Mr. Kim will have to wait his turn, one at a time. He may face the Doomsday Machine of the US. What movie was that from????

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  16. Capital A

    Lexpup, I thought Huey and Louie were stupid and then along comes you…Dew-ummy.
    Allow me to show you the error of your ways. I’ll number them so as to make it easy for you to follow. No worries for you following along (I hope) since the list stops at two.
    1. The link does work. All you have to do is copy and paste what I listed after highlighting it. It seems your thumb and forefinger must be as weak as your “points.”
    2. Unserious isn’t a word. The word you’re seeking is “irreverent.” The word you’ve proven yourself to be is “idiotic.” Think about this the next time you’re berating a member of a minority for “ruining OUR language.”
    Here now, I’ve done some work for you. Think your withered digits can manage this aide to your incompetence?
    Enjoy: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary.htm

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  17. LexWolf

    Never heard of Huey and Louie but since you know where to find the dictionary maybe you could look up the difference between aid and aide.
    FYI, if you have to cut and paste, it’s not a link. It’s a URL or URI. A link is something you can click on and it’ll take you to the desired website. For example, http://www.m-w.com/dictionary.htm is a URL/URI while this is a link Click on it, and then try to figure out how it works.
    unserious can be found at Merriam-WebsterUnabridged.com.
    You clearly don’t understand the meaning of irreverent even after looking it up in the M-W thesaurus or else you wouldn’t suggest it as a substitute for unserious.
    Which “minority” are you a member of? The only fitting ones I can think of all end with -head.
    Oh, and whom did I ever berate for “ruining OUR language”?

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  18. TramadoL28303

    Basically nothing noteworthy happening right now, but eh. Today was a complete loss. I haven’t been up to much recently. I’ve pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.

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  19. TramadoL34661

    Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I haven’t been up to much these days. I just don’t have much to say right now. I can’t be bothered with anything , but whatever.

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  20. TramadoL30768

    retty much nothing seems worth thinking about. My life’s been completely dull , not that it matters. I’ve just been staying at home waiting for something to happen.

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  21. TramadoL8884

    My mind is like a bunch of nothing, but I guess it doesn’t bother me. I haven’t been up to anything recently. I’ve pretty much been doing nothing to speak of.

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  22. TramadoL13608

    I’ve more or less been doing nothing worth mentioning, but eh. My life’s been really bland today. I don’t care. I’ve just been letting everything happen without me these days. That’s how it is.

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  23. TramadoL27709

    I haven’t been up to anything today. I don’t care. I’ve just been staying at home not getting anything done. Basically not much happening right now. Maybe tomorrow. I guess it doesn’t bother me.

    Reply

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