Zogby finds that a lot of y’all are LOSERS

Hot on the heels of the "whom do you hate most" poll, Zogby makes us doubt whether we want to know what his respondents think, reporting this pathetic result:

It won’t make you dinner or rub your feet, but nearly one in four Americans say that the Internet can serve as a substitute for a significant other for some period of time, according to a new poll released today by 463 Communications and Zogby International.

Even though it’s only one in four, that’s sad, people. And that’s without even asking whether we’re talking porn sites here.

Further, the poll found that while maybe we aren’t loser nobodies, a lot of us are willing to become nobodies if the money is right:

What’s in a Name? And while there are well-documented fears about identity theft, many Americans would gladly give up their name for a cash windfall. If they were offered $100,000 by someone who wanted to adopt their name, more than one in five Americans said they would change their name to something completely different. Thirty-four percent of 18 to 24 year olds were prepared to take the offer.

I wonder how much higher the numbers would have been if the money was a little better. Think about it — most of us couldn’t even pay off our house notes and credit card bills with 100 Gs, much less launch a new life.

The good news is that only 11 percent of us are willing to have our brains wired to receive the Internet direct, without need of exterior devices. Unsurprisingly, more than twice as many men as women would opt for this "convenience." Me, I wouldn’t go for it unless the display in my head was really high-quality.

1 thought on “Zogby finds that a lot of y’all are LOSERS

  1. weldon VII

    “For some period of time.”
    Would that be an epoch, five minutes or five seconds?
    Silly question, badly phrased. Meaningless. Must be global warming is killing brain cells.
    Maybe the committee will give Gore the Nobel for medicine, too.

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