‘I thought I told you kids to keep your toys out of the parking lot…’

o I’m rolling along through a parking lot today, and I think I see a space, but when I get to it, a portion of it — a small portion, but enough to constitute an obstruction — is occupied by this little yellow thing.

Being the founder of the Energy Party, you’d think I would be charmed by such an itty-bitty vehicle. But then I read that the "smart" car doesn’t get in-town mileage as good as that of the much-bigger Prius (at least, that’s what Wikipedia said; still looking for a better source on that). Therefore I don’t think the party should endorse something that would be this appallingly unsafe on American roads (on account of the ridiculous monstrosities that predominate there), given the small tradeoff in fuel efficiency.

Thoughts from the floor?

6 thoughts on “‘I thought I told you kids to keep your toys out of the parking lot…’

  1. david

    Yeah. Here’s a thought: Only the vehicles you happen to dislike are ever called monstrosities by the Energy Party. Isn’t that odd? Or at least too obvious?
    Here’s a suggestion I had for a possible slogan for Brad Warthens’ Energy Party:
    We’re the Energy Party and there is no pleasing us, ’cause we don’t like whatever you drive big or small and we’re coming after it.

  2. david

    Or are you only unhappy with what this person was driving because they had the parking spot you thought you deserved? I can imagine that no one had better be in Brads’ way when he gets ready to park…I mean after all, he IS Brad Warthen.
    Fits of pique are unbecoming and unattractive in adult men. They’re particularly unpleasant when they are demonstrated in adult men who are newspaper editors attempting to shape public opinion. David

  3. david

    See Brad, calling this persons’ vehicle an “obstruction” gives you away.Oh yes, this little slip makes your thinking process is made quite transparent:
    ” I’m Brad Warthen, and it’s merely an uninformed, unwashed, unworthy “little person” obstructing my important progress by parking his trifling little go-kart in my way. Surely it’s much too unsafe, ugly and doesn’t get the kind of fuel mileage I approve of, whether he can afford a Prius or not. Why can’t these little people just stay out of my way?”

  4. Brad Warthen

    Aw, I don’t know that he was unwashed…
    As for little people, I hear tell that Jake Knotts rode in one of these recently. Nothing little about him…
    Now, just to make sure, david — you ARE offering these comments in the facetious spirit of the original post, right? Or is this another one of those situations where irony has missed its mark? I hate it when that happens.

  5. david

    My first comment not so much…I was really trying to slice, dice and satirize your horrible and ridiculous positions on these issues in that one.
    My other two comments were added as afterthoughts trying to be cute. They were more “stream of consciousness” than really well reasoned posts, and they admittedly fell short.
    Bottom line, you and I are in violent disagreement. Nothing new about that, is there? At least we’re consistent. David

  6. david

    By the way, I worked at NAPA Auto Parts on Airport Blvd until a week ago, and Jake Knotts walked in there recently to buy some parts for his hot-rod. He said he was building a 47 Mercury street rod. I’m sure that he’ll have an engine and power train in it that won’t meet Brads’ standards for woosiness. Certainly it won’t have any Prius parts in it. I may not like the way the man does government, but my respect for him increased by about ten clicks when he told me he was building a hot rod. David

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