From the moment he intruded upon the national awareness last week, Rod Blagojevich has prompted a sort of Monty Python response. Whenever I see him — and I see him too often — I think, "How’d you get to be governor, then? I didn’t vote for ya…"
Those of you who are literal-minded are thinking, "Of course you didn’t vote for him; you don’t live in Illinois," but don’t spoil my fun. What I’m saying is that when I look upon this guy, I am as mystified by the radical peasants in the mud contemplating the king: I can’t imagine anyone voting for him, so I imagine he must have come into office in some bizarre manner involved strange women distributing scimitars or some such. A "farcical aquatic ceremony" seems more likely than his winning an election.
This is a first-impression thing for me. I look at the guy, and I think, "Yeah, I believe he did all that stuff they’re saying he did." And that’s saying something, because what they say he did is probably a national record-setter for being simultaneously crooked, brazen and stupid all at the same time.
But I look at this guy, and I think, yeah, I can see him doing all that. I don’t even have to see video, or hear his voice. A still photograph is enough.
And what gets me is that he has apparently always looked just like this. So I find myself wondering, who would have voted for a guy who looks like this guy? I mean, look at him — he just drips sleaze.
The only explanation I can imagine is that whoever he was running against looked worse. But if that’s the case, I don’t want to see the person he beat.