Am I reverting? Why can’t I keep my shoes tied?

shoes 001

Here’s a weird one, but hey, a blog is supposed to be about what’s on the blogger’s mind, right? And one of the things that have been on my mind lately is that recently I’ve had the worst time keeping my shoes tied. I’m spending an inordinate amount of time stooping, or looking for an appropriate surface to prop my foot upon, so I can retie them — only to have them untie themselves within minutes.

Note the picture. Not the Raskolnikovian frayed ends of my trousers, or the faded black socks, or the fact that my wingtips could use a shine. (Hey, I’ve spent most of the past year unemployed. And I didn’t have any public appearances scheduled today, unlike yesterday, when I was much nattier. I’ll dress up more for tomorrow’s debate.) No, check out the laces, which I had tied not long before. This happened spontaneously.

Trying to address this problem, I recently bought new laces for all my leather shoes. I got the ones that said “waxed” — aren’t those the kind that are supposed to resist untying? I certainly thought so. But the problem keeps getting worse. And I don’t want to revert to the stratagem of my childhood — taking the “rabbit ears” of the bow and tying them into a knot.

This is just weird, to all of a sudden have this trouble. Am I wiggling around in my shoes more when I walk? Has somebody sprayed my socks with Teflon? What?

This is the most shoe trouble I’ve had since my kindergarten teacher in Bennettsville stopped me on the playground to tell me that the reason I was having trouble running was that I’d put my shoes on the wrong feet (and I had been so proud of putting them on and tying them myself).

OK, now that I’ve gotten this out of my system, I’ll go back to thinking about other stuff… I do have some work to do…

22 thoughts on “Am I reverting? Why can’t I keep my shoes tied?

  1. Herb B.

    For what it’s worth, I always double tie my shoes. Or wear some kind of loafers or “slip-ons,”–which also come in handy for going through airport security.

  2. orphan annie

    Hey Brad, an ole timer told me when you first cross the strings of your shoes, do it twice. Then tie the bow.
    I betcha that will work for ya…
    the first step of shoe tying- well, try looping the string TWICE .

  3. Herb B.

    Yep, just like orphan annie and tom priddie said. If I don’t use double knots, they’re loose all the time. Don’t worry, it’s not your age. Shoe laces just ain’t what they used to be . . . .

  4. Kathryn Fenner

    The double loop in the first stage makes a surgeon’s knot, which allows for different tensions on either side–which might help if you don’t want tightly-laced shoes, just tight knots.

    I’m with Burl–but make ’em tasseled loafers–how Democrat-elite of you! Walter will have a cow.

  5. Walter

    Katie – I wear loafers and I’m not a Democrat… I used to wear wingtips just like ol’ liberal Brad. But that was 20 years ago and I got over the phase of playing Jr. Executive at the time.

  6. Kathryn Fenner

    Burl–I figured you for Havaianas–or Tevas if you need arch support.

    I just see Brad in tasseled loafers–or those really skinny Italian ones my husband (10 EEEE) cannot squeeze his hooves into.

    Walter–It’s “Kathryn”–I’m too big for a nickname, and I’m not talking plain old loafers–dear husband wears those nice supportive Dunhams or Rockports or Clark’s–I’m talking wafer-thin, leather-like-buttah burnished tasseled loafers….

    But don’t take this as any allegation that he’s light thereof. Brad is a tradionalist-metrosexual…

  7. Walter

    Kate – I apologize, and here I had you marked as a Kiki.

    I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about as far as shoes go… if I can’t find it at Eddie Bauer or Bass I probably don’t wear it. Well except for the Timberland EuroHiker boots that are the best boots in the world, the best Kiki, the best!!!

  8. Herb B.

    Yep, that is what old folks always say. But then, why did my laces always stay tied back then–and the idea of double tying them never crossed my mind?

    Actually, I think it depends on the type of material the laces are made of. The thick, cotton ones stay tied, but the skinny, nylon (or whatever that stuff is) don’t.

    Did you ever wear the old penny loafers? I mean with actual pennies stuck in them? No socks, of course. And white, starched jeans, with madras shirts? Or was that just a Texas thing?

    Burl lives in Hawaii, right? I mean I have to wear 3 pairs of socks in February, just to keep my feet warm.

  9. Herb B.

    Burl, I thought you were some kind of a serious journalist. You’ve posted twice now items that have no basis in anything, except you threw them out there, I think without any kind of serious research.

    The idea that abortions are/were illegal in the Philippines when Tim Tebow was born is totally irrelevant to the issue. First of all, anyone who really lived in the Philippines knows that anything is available to anyone who wants to pay for it. Secondly, any Westerner could have easily flown to any number of places close by in Asia where it could be done legally. It isn’t really smart to post about unfamiliar things overseas. People who have lived there can always trump you (I haven’t lived there, but I’ve got friends who have.)

  10. Walter

    Herb B. – Wearing shoes without socks is just nasty. Can you imagine how much sweat those pennyloafers soak up? I tried it a couple times and after about an hour my feet felt like they were squishing around in mashed potatoes.

  11. Burl Burlingame

    I’m a journalist, but I’ve never claimed to be serious.

    I was just struck by Tebow’s “story” in which he claims doctors in the Philippines would easily counsel abortion. It doesn’t mean you can’t get one there or close by. It is relevant because it casts doubt on the mythology of his narrative.

    But you’re right, I don’t have friends, like you do, who have gotten abortions in the Philippines. They come to Hawaii instead.

    More to the point, my favorite shoes are good old hightop Chuck Taylors.

  12. Kathryn Fenner

    I remember those old hard penny loafers–no arch supports and they ate up your feet until you broke them in–I wore mine with tights or knee socks back then. You could get them resoled easily, unlike the modern versions with shock absorbent, skid resistant soles.

    I never understood the appeal of Chucks. No arch support, the high tops rub your ankles raw, and the white toe bumper deal makes your feet look like Zambonis. I am a sleek Euro-sneaker person– Adidas, Pumas (which were part of an across-the-river rivalry between the founders, if you can believe that), Eccos, Paul Greens.
    Europeans actually walk places, unlike poseur Americans who just affect athletic shoes.

  13. Herb B.

    “Mythology of his narrative.” Sure. All goes back to, if one doesn’t like somebody, then, well, no cut any slack. Good thing I don’t have to take this piece of fluff seriously, like Obama’s citizenship thing. It gets repeated often enough though, then some people take it seriously.

  14. Herb B.

    Walter, sure it was nasty. But that’s what we did back then. No wonder I’ve had problems with athlete’s foot ever since, eh?

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