Keep your cornucopias, I’ll take a full beer fridge

The turkey is roasting, filling the house with its smells, and I’m taking deep, traditional satisfaction from the fact that my hard work throughout the grown season has led to a full beer fridge.

I read up on the proper beers to drink with turkey — it was in The Wall Street Journal Saturday — and learned that Yuengling lager and Harpoon Winter Warmer are regarded as among the best by the experts.

So after Boyd and I got done ringing the bell, I stepped into Greene’s and stocked up on both, adding them to the Buds I already had (and, at the back, hidden where no one else is likely to run across it, one Fuller’s ESB).

As you know, man gave up being a hunter-gatherer and turned to agriculture in order that he might be able to brew beer. Woman may have done it for bread, but I know guys, and it’s hard to argue with 5,000-year-old beer recipes on clay tablets. It’s the, ahem, oldest recipe of any kind in the world. Or so say credible authorities.

So what could better express harvest plenty?

9 thoughts on “Keep your cornucopias, I’ll take a full beer fridge

  1. Jeff Morrell


    Thank You for backing up the reason I purchased Yuengling on the way over to Mum in law’s for dinner today!I still need to make the trip to Pottsville to take the factory tour but Pittsburgh (and lunch at Primanti Bros!) calls tomorrow.Happy Thanksgiving.

  2. Nick Nielsen

    A couple of months back, Sam’s in Irmo had two pallets of Samuel Adams Octoberfest out. I bought a case (or more) and am still working on those.

    And I’m glad to discover I’m not the only person I know who has a refrigerator just for my beer!

  3. `Kathryn Fenner

    Y’all have heard of this thing called “climate change”–and “energy conservation”…..

  4. Brad

    Note the way that top rack is sagging, GROANING under the weight of all those Yuenglings.

    And anyone who doesn’t understand, I refer you to this

    And to think, Kathryn doubts that testosterone makes a difference…

  5. Jesse S.

    @Jeff Morrell If you do make sure to pick up a case (or two or three) of Yuengling’s Premium Beer. Best stuff they make.

  6. `Kathryn Fenner


    Tell that to your sweltering great-grandchildren: “Sorry, great-grand-dad’s testosterone and [insert other feeble excuse here] made him too lazy to stop off an buy smaller quantities of beer, so he had to have an energy hog fridge to store it in, as well as an energy hog truck and oversized house and….so now you get to live in something great-grand-dad would have considered a dystopian science fiction world….’

  7. Brad

    You DO realize, don’t you, that if you took an ordinary small dorm refrigerator from your local big box store, and turned around and offered to sell it, rebranded it as an “Energy Hog Beer Fridge” and doubled the price, you could make a fortune.

    No, wait — I thought of it first!

  8. Brad

    You wouldn’t have to have “energy” in it, of course. If you just got “Hog” and “Beer Fridge” together on the label, you’d be set.

    No, wait — go ahead and market it as “Energy Hog,” etc., and then design a logo that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the “Energy Star” logo, and then the customer could tell his wife that it was good for the planet.

    Customer: “See ‘at star there, Baby? It’s a certifahd Energy Hawg! It’s good for the invahrmunt.”

    Customer’s wife: “You moron, that’s not…”

    Customer: “Now, now, baby, you just settle on down, now. It’s technical. I cain’t expect you to unnerstand…”

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