DEA trying to make Secret Service look well-behaved

That's one for the DEA!

That’s one for the DEA!

Very recently, it looked like the Secret Service had the whole Outrageous Behavior by Feds with Guns Sweepstakes wrapped up. It was, as Bryan wrote during my absence, an entirely intramural competition, and it was fierce.

But now, suddenly, coming up on the outside, it’s the DEA, and they’re neck and neck!

Drug Enforcement Administration agents allegedly had “sex parties” with prostitutes hired by local drug cartels overseas over a period of several years, according to a report released Thursday by the Justice Department’s watchdog.

The report did not specify the country where the parties occurred, but a law enforcement official familiar with the matter identified it as Colombia.

Seven of the 10 DEA agents alleged to have participated in the gatherings — most of which took place at an agent’s “quarters” leased by the U.S. government — admitted to having attended the parties, the report found. The agents, some of whom had top-secret security clearances, received suspensions of two to 10 days.

Former police officers in Colombia also alleged that three DEA supervisory special agents were provided with money, expensive gifts and weapons from drug cartel members, according to the report….

Colombia? Hey, that’s our turf, the Secret Service agents cry…

I don’t know what the Secret Service guys (yes, I know there are women in the Secret Service, but this sort of behavior is definitely something guys are better at) are going to do to top that. Taking gifts from drug lords? The Secret Service equivalent to that would be taking gifts from would-be assassins. And that they won’t do, I feel quite certain.

So what will they do to uphold the dishonor of their storied agency? We wait with bated breath, and considerable apprehension…

6 thoughts on “DEA trying to make Secret Service look well-behaved

  1. Bryan Caskey

    Want to live the Rock Star lifestyle but don’t have any musical talent? No problem! Just become a Federal Law Enforcement Agent.

    You know, maybe we should have the states enforce federal laws. It appears the federal law enforcement guys are really a little distracted.

    1. Doug Ross

      Or we could stop worrying about what substances people choose to ingest. The drug war has been a losing battle.

  2. Juan Caruso

    The casting for ‘Breaking Bad’ was as great as its storyline and fundamental to the series success.
    Dean Norris as Hank Schrader actually resembled many LEOs about his age in the state of Texas.


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