I hereby launch this blog’s official Most Absurd “Star Wars” Tie-In contest.
See if you can top this one — “Star Wars” bottled water. Near as I could tell without ripping the shrinkwrap, there was nothing about Star Wars on the actual bottles. So if you gave it to a kid in a vain attempt to get him to drink water instead of soda, it probably wouldn’t work. You’d get one of those “What are you trying to foist off on me, pops?” looks.
I’m pretty sure the only branding was on the plastic wrap holding the case together. Although if you’re sucker enough to buy one, and rip it open and prove me wrong, I will stand corrected.
The last couple of weekends I’ve been out toy-shopping for grandchildren, and seen just how far the Star Wars mania has gone. And of course I’ve noted the everyday, ordinary version of a toy, and next to it the version with a Star Wars theme and a price about 76 percent higher.
But I’ve not yet seen anything as ridiculous as the bottled water.
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At a football game this weekend, the bottled water at the concession stand was Star Wars branded on the bottles. It wouldn’t surprise me if these bottles had Star Wars labels, which somehow seems a little better than just the shrink wrap being branded.
I certainly hope so. Star Wars water that doesn’t have genuine, trademarked Star Wars images on the bottle just wouldn’t taste right.
And where does Star Wars water come from? If it’s on planet then it’s fake!
Certainly not from Tattooine. It would cost much more.
Maybe they’re harvesting ice from Hoth and melting it. That wouldn’t be a very green operation, thought, what with all the energy required — not to mention transporting it to Earth.
Yeah, but the water gets here really fast because Han Solo delivers it in the Millennium Falcon.
By the way, my entry into the merchandise game is this. You wanna be smooth like Billy Dee Williams? Look no further.
But that’s a product tie-in that makes SENSE! Who would NOT want to be smooth like Lando?
I’m going to want drone delivery of Amazon stuff once Bezos comes up with a drone that looks like the Millennium Falcon. Things should get to my house REALLY fast, because I live well under a parsec from the Amazon fulfillment center.
His latest prototype looks like a cross between a Y fighter and an ultralight.
If I’ve done my sums right, I live about .000000000000526 parsec from the Amazon distribution center.
It’s the Deathstar laxative that worries me.