I have little patience with people fooling around with the English language.
But today, I’ll stay away from the really offensive kind of meddling — that motivated by politics. You know, the whole Orwellian thing of changing the language in order to make it impossible for us to express unacceptable thoughts, or otherwise trying to change reality by changing the words we use to describe it.
Today I’m ticked about the trivial.
For years, I’ve been shaking my head at ads and store displays urging me to buy “this khaki pant,” or “that dress pant.” Instead of, you know, pants.
Now it’s gotten down to shorts. “One short?” Really?
This is ridiculous. And I can’t for the life of me imagine why someone would want to do this. Oh, yes, I understand that it simplifies your way of saying that you can wear one pair of shorts for different sports (as if we hadn’t figured that out for ourselves already), but work around it. Play with what I just said: one pair of shorts for different sports is poetry, in a way.
Not great poetry, mind you. But it’s not as stupid as “one short…”
Do you wear a pair of pants or a single pant? Shame with short(s).
Maybe you should just start calling them leg covers.