Mitt Romney has, from the start, based his candidacy for the nomination on the claim that he’s the guy who could beat Obama, if anyone can.
But now we have proof that Santorum could easily beat the president at one thing — bowling.
The ex-senator has been putting in time in some bowling alleys lately. The only actual score I’ve f0und was a 152, which Bloomberg calls “respectable.” Which it is. That’s all it is, but it is that. A guy who can’t go out and roll a 150 basically shouldn’t bowl in front of cameras. That’s about what my average was when I was in a league in high school in Tampa.
“Respectable” is not a term anyone would use to describe the president’s skills at this game. So Santorum should have really played this up from the start.
Here’s video of him rolling a turkey. And if you don’t know what a turkey is, you shouldn’t bowl for money against Santorum. Or me, even though I haven’t bowled seriously in more than 40 years.
According to The New York Times, Santorum even managed to work in a communitarian theme while at the alley:
In an interview about his bowling background, Mr. Santorum referred to the famous book about bowling as a thread in the fabric of small-town America, “Bowling Alone,” by Robert D. Putnam, a professor of history at Harvard.
“ ‘Bowling Alone’ is about the breakdown of social capital in this country,” he said. “People used to come together in leagues and groups. Bowling is a social sport. You talk and eat and drink and are together. It’s a commitment to go every week. My dad bowled in a league, and I went with him. He was a lefty. We went on league night, it was part of my childhood.”
I had to laugh at this site, though, which breathlessly stated that “He even has his own bowling ball.” Oh, yeah? So do I. Doesn’t everybody? And in my younger days I had my own two-piece pool cue. Didn’t make me Minnesota Fats.
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And not hustling people strange to you
Even if you do got a two-piece custom made pool cue…
Yeah, except that it wasn’t custom-made. I bought it for less than $10 (closer to $5, I think) at the Navy Exchange in Millington, TN.
But it still gave opponents a momentary crisis of confidence when I was screwing it together, getting ready to play…
It was nice to have my own stick. Saved me a lot of time trying to find one the right weight, and rolling them to find a straight one.
My bowling ball is in my garage, in the same bag I used in the late ’60s, which doesn’t zip closed anymore. The ball has my initials set into it. I haven’t used it since then, mainly because my thumb is bigger and I’d have to have it redrilled. And then, if I started bowling, my thumb would get bigger than it is now and I’d have to have it drilled AGAIN, and I just haven’t wanted to go through all that.
Maybe ADCO would sponsor a league team? We could all get shirts…
On a somewhat unrelated note, I always wanted those lyrics to say, “and at the edge of a forest sat a girl named Doris…”
But it wouldn’t quite have worked.