Did you see this in today’s paper (scroll down to the second item)?
With the Powerball jackpot at $340 million,
the executive director of the state lottery is encouraging South
Carolinians to play the numbers responsibly.
Aw, man, I went and blew the joke! I should have set it up first, and then hit you with the punch line.
Oh, well. I guess I’ll have to face the fact that Ernie’s the comedian around here, not me. If it had been me, I would have come up with something lame about urging fish to do their best to stay dry, or curing alcoholism by urging drunks just to have one or two drinks when their jones is upon them. Neither of those works. I just don’t have Ernie’s timing, or exquisite sense of irony.
I love it when he brags about all the scholarship money the lottery provides — always neglecting to mention that Jim Hodges vetoed a bill that would have provided the scholarships without a lottery. (Why? Because he wanted a lottery. Why? Because he was assured that was his ticket to re-election. Worked really well, didn’t it? He’s gone, but we’re still stuck standing in line in convenience stores behind sad losers "playing responsibly.")
Of course, Ernie is a comedic midget compared to the genius who came up with calling the state-run numbers racket the "Education Lottery." That one makes us laugh until we cry, every time. People keep playing the "education" lottery, which means they never learn. If they did, no more lottery. That’s some catch, that Catch-22.