Assuming I set it up right, if you send me an e-mail this week, you'll get this:
Welcome to my
special Christmas week AUTOMATED MESSAGE.
alone in the office this week, and spending all of my time editing and preparing
for publication material left behind by my vacationing colleagues. This is like
doing the work of five jugglers simultaneously, so please bear with
me.
for your message to be considered for publication as a LETTER TO THE EDITOR,
please resend it to stateeditor@thestate.com.
submitting a potential GUEST COLUMN FOR OUR OP-ED PAGE, please resend it
to Cindi Scoppe at cscoppe@thestate.com. This will
NOT be considered until Ms. Scoppe returns on Dec. 29. All local op-ed
columns for this week have already been selected and
edited.
to register a comment that is not for publication in the paper, I urge you to
post it on my blog, http://blogs.thestate.com/bradwarthensblog/.
requiring a response from me, Brad Warthen: I beg for your patience. I am
extremely unlikely to be able to respond this week. If you MUST have a reply
this week (and we're talking emergency here), leave a phone message at (803)
771-8468, and I will get back to you when I'm able.
Warthen
The last couple of weeks of the year have always been a high-wire act, even when we had adequate staffing. It's simply the best time for people to TAKE off, and it's when they WANT to take off, so we try to make that happen as much as possible. But these days, even one person being off one day puts us in emergency mode. This is so far beyond that, it defies description.
Which is my way of saying to YOU, don't look for a lot of blogging from ME this week. The only other person in the editorial offices this week is Randle, who handles letters, and as soon as she has prepared enough letters for publication to get me through the week — sometime Tuesday, we hope — she'll be gone, too.
I'm sort of in Chuck Yeager mode — as I climb into the cockpit alone, my last colleague hands me a sawn-off length of broom handle and says, "Just stick 'is in the handle and WANG it down with yer good arm…"
To which I can only say, "Thanks, Buddy…"
Of course, as soon as you attempt the impossible this way, people start throwing in complications.
First, a reporter who is on vacation in St. Louis calls to tell me there was an error in the Sunday editorial (guess a source had contacted him about it). I had trouble following the explanation, so I had to bug Warren at home to call the reporter to sort it out, and Warren e-mailed the correction to me, and I THINK I’ve got it on tomorrow’s page now — I’m about to go down and get a SECOND proof on that page, to make sure.
Then, Joel Sawyer calls to say that he sent an op-ed from the governor on Friday, not knowing Cindi was off, and he wants me to look at it even though now it’s already run in other papers. I’m going to look at it when I get done with that new proof. Joel’s trying to sell it on the grounds that it’s related to what Cindi wrote about in her Sunday column. We’ll see. Right off the bat, it sounds like a candidate for online only. But we’ll see.
And oh, yeah, I’m still sick. I run fever every night, cough all day. Feel like weasels have been clawing my lungs — from the inside.
But there’s just nobody else to put out the pages next week.
My goal is to get through Friday. Next week, Warren and Cindi will be here doing what I’m doing, and I’ll be recuperating (I hope).
Yeah, I just hate it when i’m the only one in the office doing any work over the holidays. If people aren’t on leave, they should be. Everyone is listening to their favorite yuletide tunes on their personal music machine (usually a boombox because they haven’t figured out how to use the cd player on their office pc,… yet). What might have been otherwise relaxing quickly becomes a cacophony of dueling traditions – Perry Como, Mannheim or the Grandma got Run Over by A Reindeer thing. It’s awfully nagging. But then I don’t have a newspaper to publish. Truly…. Hope you get to feeling better and Friday comes quickly.
Yeah, I just hate it when i’m the only one in the office doing any work over the holidays. If people aren’t on leave, they should be. Everyone is listening to their favorite yuletide tunes on their personal music machine (usually a boombox because they haven’t figured out how to use the cd player on their office pc,… yet). What might have been otherwise relaxing quickly becomes a cacophony of dueling traditions – Perry Como, Mannheim or the Grandma got Run Over by A Reindeer thing. It’s awfully nagging. But then I don’t have a newspaper to publish. Truly…. Hope you get to feeling better and Friday comes quickly.
Darn it – I know you all needed that msg twice – sheesh
You aren’t having any fun. I wish you a Wonderful Christmas, and the best for the new year. Peace.
May your health increase
Because one of the things I want least
Is to pay for your allergy pills.
May your wealth increase
Because something else I want least
Is to pay any of your monthly bills.
But I don’t know if I want
Your help to increase or not
Because if it don’t
I’ll tell you ungrammatically what
You won’t get that satisfaction
Of being the only one with traction,
The all-knowing one is action,
Accounting for each and every faction
With suitable redaction
And journalistic compaction
As you recommend taxion to the maxion.
Nevertheless, have a happy holiday,
Whatever holiday you think it is.
May your Mrs. give you kisses
And make you think you’re the wiz,
No matter what the meaning of “is” is,
Now that the new Santa Claus
With a stimulus straight for Oz
Is changing the meaning of “was”.
O maThough work be giving you the biz
Now that no one knows what the meaning of
May your health increase
Because one of the things I want least
Is to pay for your allergy pills.
May your wealth increase
Because something else I want least
Is to pay any of your monthly bills.
But I don’t know if I want
Your help to increase or not
Because if it don’t
I’ll tell you ungrammatically what
You won’t get that satisfaction
Of being the only one with traction,
The all-knowing one is action,
Accounting for each and every faction
With suitable redaction
And journalistic compaction
As you recommend taxion to the maxion.
Nevertheless, have a happy holiday,
Whatever holiday you think it is.
May your Mrs. give you kisses
And make you think you’re the wiz,
No matter what the meaning of “is” is,
Now that the new Santa Claus
With a stimulus straight from Oz
Is changing the meaning of “was”.
O maThough work be giving you the biz
Now that no one knows what the meaning of
Third time’s a charm:
May your health increase
Because one of the things I want least
Is to pay for your allergy pills.
May your wealth increase
Because something else I want least
Is to pay any of your monthly bills.
But I don’t know if I want
Your help to increase or not
Because if it don’t
I’ll tell you ungrammatically what
You won’t get that satisfaction
Of being the only one with traction,
The all-knowing one is action,
Accounting for each and every faction
With suitable redaction
And journalistic compaction
As you recommend taxion to the maxion.
Nevertheless, have a happy holiday,
Whatever holiday you think it is.
May your Mrs. give you kisses
And make you think you’re the wiz,
No matter what the meaning of “is” is,
Now that the new Santa Claus
With a stimulus straight from Oz
Is changing the meaning of “was”.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because,
Because because because because BECAUSE!
Because of the wonderful things he does…
Reminds me of Barney Frank.
Merry Christmas Brad.
David
Thanks, Dave, Karen, Murraywood — and especially you with the poetic tribute there, penultimo.
I was imagining that in Bob Dylan’s voice, to the tune (if you can call it a tune; more like proto-folk-rap) of “It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding).”
Did anyone follow that link I just put up to the lyrics? Did you know that there was such a thing as “bobdylan.com?”
I didn’t.
I’m trying to take the news in stride…
Yes, I’ve been to Dylan’s site a few times.
Here’s another contribution:
Subterranean Homesick Blues
Brad,
Get well, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
May 2009 be better than 2008! That’s what I’m hoping for.
I am to Bob Dylan as Tommy James sans the Shondells is to Lennon and McCartney, and that’s being kind to me, but, merry Christmas, and a happy Friday, too.
Because you put up with me, and that’s more than some will do. 🙂