Col. Cathcart, Lt. Col. Korn, and Major Danby.
You remember Col. Cathcart, don’t you — from Catch-22? (And if you haven’t read Catch-22, you should.)
Here’s a reminder of who he is:
His main function in the plot of the book is to keep raising the number of missions that the men in his bomb group must fly before they can rotate stateside. He does this to curry favor with his superiors. He lives for “feathers in his cap” and lives in horror of “black eyes.”
This repeated raising of the number of missions is a key driver in Yossarian’s constant, growing anxiety, especially since the colonel always raises the number just before Yossarian reaches it:
Well, it seems that Col. Cathcart has slipped out of the pages of the novel and somehow gained access to our Walk for Life team profile, and raised our goal — much as Yossarian slipped out of his tent one night and moved the bomb line on the map to above Bologna.
And I’m happy to report that I — I mean, Col. Cathcart — ran into Samuel Tenenbaum this morning, who is sort of the General Dreedle of Palmetto Health Foundation, and told him that our goal has been raised from $1,000 to $3,000. He was most pleased. I think this is quite a feather in my, I mean Col. Cathcart’s, cap.
And I’m sure, men (like Lt. Scheisskopf, I enjoy addressing you as “men” in a clipped, military voice), that you’ll be happy to keep flying missions until we exceed the new goal. Failure to do so would result in a black eye for me, your colonel, and I’m sure none of you men want that.
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And everybody has a share.
We’re now up to $2,624.
Just $376 to go to the new goal.
Hey, does anyone have any ideas for goofy stuff I could promise to do to get people out there to give? Doug has this great gimmick where he agrees to do such things as wear this hat for $100. That’s how he’s raised over a thousand for the team.
I could do that. In fact, I’m starting to see the possibility for a new career direction for me, once this campaign is over…
How much to wear a Nancy Mace for Senate button?
Drag
I’m not doing drag. Why? Because I refuse to shave my legs.
You might say I wouldn’t have to shave my legs. Yes, I would, because if I’m going to dress as a chick, it’s not going to be as the kind of chick who doesn’t shave her legs. I have standards.
You may think you’ve seen me in drag before. But that’s because you’re confusing me with my twin, Leon Lott…
Possible fundraising ideas:
1. Dye your hair.
2. Commit to giving up Starbucks for a week.
3. Post a video of you singing a song on your blog, to be picked by a donor.
4. Free advertising on your blog (if a company donated some money).
5. Everyone loves a good old-fashioned dunk tank.
Related: Didn’t Sheriff Lott agree to be tased by a high bidder to raise money for a charity?