Dave’s not here, man…

I get multiple texts every day — not to mention all the emails — asking me for money for electoral candidates.

Usually, they’re Democrats — because of all the lists they must have put me on when I was with James Smith’s campaign. But not all.

Today, I’ve heard from folks raising money for Joe Biden (and I just gave him $25 a couple of weeks ago — surely he hasn’t spent it already!), Dick Harpootlian and some guy named Dave. That last one cracked me up:

I had no idea who this Dave was. Actually, he addresses my wife in the message, but there’s no point in asking whether she knows him, because I know how that happens. If I call you from my number, it might say my wife’s name instead of mine, because hers is first on the account. But actually, I’m being too logical. Sometimes texts come to my phone, but address me by the names of my kids and grandkids. There’s no logic to it.

Anyway, I didn’t figure out who “Dave” was until I looked back at previous messages from this same number. Apparently, he’s the Republican running against Bob Casey in Pennsylvania.

But he just says “Dave,” like that’s supposed to mean something to me.

Well, you see how I answered him. I was hoping that, if a human ever sees it, he or she (but most likely some A.I. “it,” will think, maybe just for a second, Hey, maybe we should throw “McCormick” in there next time. 

Probably not. But just in case, I sent a link to explain the gag. Because I figure whoever it was wouldn’t know that routine…

2 thoughts on “Dave’s not here, man…

  1. Barry

    1) Trump is selling the “God Bless the USA Bible.” He has a licensing deal to sell the bible. The wording of the contract leaves open the possibility that sales of the bible will help fund his legal expenses.

    The ad material states that the God Bless the USA bible is the only one Donald Trump (noted Christian expert) “approves”

    The bible includes additions of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and lyrics to the song God Bless the USA – you know- obvious things that every bible should include given the special mentions of the United States in the bible- and that Paul would have included in the New Testament if he had really been wise.

    The bible is a big hit with “good Christians” since Trump is endorsing it. They can now read the scriptures and what every real Christian patriot needs: a big dose of Americana mixed in with their bible verses. Trump said he would be bringing “religion and prayer back to America” when he wins in November. We can rest easy now.

    2) In honor of trump and American Christianity’s devotion to Trump, I’ll be sitting out Easter Sunday for the first time in my 53 years. I’ll wave goodby to my wife and kids as they head out and I’ll be taking my dog to the local park for a nice walk.

    3) A writer included in helping develop Project 2025, a blueprint document for a 2nd Trump Presidential term is calling for repealing the 22nd Amendment so that Trump could run for a 3rd term. The effort seems silly but is also growing in Trump world. Some are saying that there will be a serious effort with Republicans if he wins in November.

    4) Michigan Republican and state representative and diehard Trumper Matt Maddock posted on X this week a picture of what he called “Illegal Invaders” that he had spotted at the Detroit airport. He posted they had loaded onto buses and asked people viewing his post if they knew where they might be going with a police escort.

    It was actually the Gonzaga men’s basketball team that had landed on an Allegiant Air flight and were loading onto buses with their coaches and staff members for the NCAA Sweet 16 basketball game.

    His nutty accusation caused the airport to have to make a statement verifying that the flight was indeed for the basketball team.

  2. Bob Amundson

    Cheech and Chong “Big Bamboo” is a classic – “Sister Mary Elephant.” Not many huge Big Bamboo rolling papers from the album exist; vinyl copies with the rolling paper are highly collectible. Of course I know nothing of which I speak. I was a very well behaved college student when I was sure I would die before I got old. Still young at heart with my Filipina Fountain of Youth.” The Spanish we’re looking in the wrong hemisphere.


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