What happened to me today was such a quintessential South Carolina experience, I just had to share it.
I bring in my paper this morning, put it on the table, gather up the makings of breakfast, and start reading. When I got to the story about the interim superintendent for Lexington/Richland District 5, I focused first on his name, wondering whether it was a typo. As I skimmed the story, I stopped at this sentence, which explained the name thing:
A native South Carolinian, his given name is Thomas Edward Calhoun Dowling. Colleagues and close friends simply refer to him as “TEC.”
Well, duh. Like anyone named Thomas Edward Calhoun Dowling could be anything but a South Carolina native.
Then, as I looked at his picture, I thought for some reason of my uncle, Woody Collins. I didn’t know why I thought of Woody, except that he is a (former) career educator — a retired principal, now a 
municipal judge in Bennettsville — and they are almost exactly the same age (my uncle is only six years older than I am). They don’t look alike — beyond both having mustaches — and from his picture I doubt TEC Dowling has a personality anything like my uncle’s. Not many people have a personality anything like my uncle’s, as any acquaintance of Woody’s can tell you. (When my brother got married last year, his bride’s family — mostly from New York and Canada — couldn’t stop talking about the colorful toast Woody offered at the reception — even though for him it was little more than an everyday dinner-table monologue. They kept talking about how impressed they were by "The Judge." They seemed to think he was a character out of Faulkner or Flannery O’Connor or something.)
Basically, we’re talking two white guys of about the same age, both native South Carolinians, both having committed all or most of their adult lives to public education, and that’s about as far as the association went in my mind.
And then I forgot about it.
A couple of hours later, I’m in the middle of the weekly senior staff meeting (when all the heads of the divisions of the newspaper — news, advertising, circulation, finance, and various others, including little old editorial — meet with the publisher; think of it as being like when all the dons get together in "The Godfather"), and my mobile starts to vibrate. I step out of the room, and it’s my mother calling to share an observation on today’s paper.
"You know that fella who was named to run District Five?" she asks. Sure, I say, remembering reading about "TEC."
"Well, he’s your cousin." Apparently, he’s the son of one of my mother’s first cousins — she didn’t mention which one — which makes us … what … second cousins? (I’m never sure how you calculate that.) Of course, this state is chockful of my first and second cousins to various removes, so I shouldn’t have been surprised.
So no wonder he had made me think of someone in my family. Probably some atavistic cell-memory thing that enables our species to recognize others who carry our DNA. Or something.
But whatever it was, the only place I’ve every lived — and I’ve lived all over — where stuff like this happens is South Carolina. And not just to me. It just seems like everybody is related to everybody else here.
When I first moved back to my native state in 1987, I was just getting used to the newsroom of The State, a place where every other editor had come up through the ranks — I had "outsider" stamped all over me in a place that back then didn’t quite know what to make of outsiders — when one day I marveled out loud at an odd name I ran across in a story I was editing. I offered one or two ironic remarks along the lines of "What kind of name is that; it sounds made up." (I’m not sharing what I actually said because I’m trying to be delicate and not identify the object of my bemusement.)
"Yeah, he’s my cousin," said an editor sitting next to me.
Well, I learned a lesson that day, one that has been reinforced over and over. Basically, you can’t swing a cat, or a "smart" remark, or anything in this state without hitting a relation of someone you know. And if, like me, you’re from around here, that someone might be you.
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Hey, Brad, I went onto your blog this morning for the first time and I ran into your piece on TEC Dowling.
About ten years ago, I decided to make it my business to get to know my second cousins, who, as you correctly deduced, are the children my parent’s first cousins. What an adventure it has been.
That’s how I got to know your childhood across the street neighbor, J.P. His granddaddy and my granddaddy were brothers but I didn’t get to know him until I got serious about family relationships.
Let me sell you on the benefit of contacting your second cousins. First of all, they are interesting people. Most people are, of course, but your DNA connection gives you something to talk about until you have found common ground.
Secondly, they know things about your family that you don’t know. Truth runs deep and clear through other branches of the family. Your great-aunt was far more candid with her grandchildren than your grandmom was with you. Also, they have pictures you don’t have. Letters, too.
Thirdly, you are doing something for your family that almost only you can do. Relationships matter and the effort you make to establish those relationships may benefit your children in ways that you can’t anticipate.
My aunt Alma was the genealogist in our extended family. She did the heavy lifting by going to the courthouses in Bennettsville and in Darlington to do original research (a second cousin, Charlie Hodges from Mullins, did a lot of lifting of his own for that branch of the family). Alma is the one who made the family trees and made everyone sign them at the family reunion. She is the one who knew the dirt. She is the one who I went to see in Knoxville a year or two before she died to visit and to get her records. She was thrilled to know I was making this effort on behalf of the extended family. She said the goal of any genealogist is to stay alive until the next generation cares.
Take TEC to lunch, Brad, and see what happens.
David
Great story.
This is true about SC and seems to be unique in alot of ways to this state.
Definitely.
Thomas Edward Calhoun Dowling covers about half of the SC state keywords in one name.
I was Googling the Dowling Family and wound up at your blog. TEC is my second cousin also(or is it first cousin, once removed?), but my connection is through his father, not his mother. When I read “Bennettsville” in your musings, I knew there must be a family connection to Sarah, TEC’s mother.
TEC’s father was my grandmother’s brother. However, due to the fact that my grandmother was the oldest child, her grandchildren are the approximate ages of some of her nieces and nephews. At holidays and other family gatherings, my grandmother’s family would gather at my grandparent’s home in Brunson, SC while my grandmother’s siblings and their children, etc., would gather across the street at my great-grandmother’s house. We had large communal dinners, so I know many of my second cousins as well as I do my first cousins, and like some of them better.
If you’ve read The State in the past few weeks, you’ve discovered that TEC may indeed have a little of Uncle Woody in him after all.
Marsha Ford
Thomas Edward Calhoun Dowling is my father. I was searching on the internet when I found this “blog” I am his youngest daughter (22 yrs old). My father turns 60 this weekend. I think it is very interesting that we are some what related. My father is a very respectable person. He would be shocked that I found this. I will have to show him. But thank you for being so interested in my father!
Hello Brad,
My first cousin, Marsha Ford, along with 3rd cousin(?), Kelsey, Tec’s Dowling’s daughter, are all decendents of John Calhoun Dowling, from Brunson, South Carolina. I was looking up my great-grandfather,online, and I came upon your blog. As I was reading the blog, I discovered that I had relation to the person you were writing about, and I became more interested, proud. Tec Dowling has always been a very upstanding individual as long as I can remember! In fact our entire extended family, of aunts, 1st, 2nd cousins are so proud of him, and all he has accomplished, along with his brother, Joe Harry, and sister, Sarah Lane.
My grandmother, Edith Dowling Harrison, and Marsha’s grandmother, are the same, having our Mother’s as sisters. Our grandmother was the oldest sister, of Tec’s father, Harry, John Calhoun, jr. and uncle Thomas Edward Dowling, who Tec was named after.
If your mother is related to Tec, then I’m wondering how, and if we are related? I would like to see the family tree. Wouldn’t that be interesting?
Hey, Brad,
First, and foremost, I feel the need to correct, and clarify what I stated in my last letter, about who Tec Dowling was named after.
Thomas Edward Calhoun (TEC) Dowling is the grandson of John Calhoun Dowling, from Brunson, S.C.. He also had two paternal uncles, John Calhoun, Jr., and Clarence Edward. I am thinking that there is a Thomas somewhere on his Mother’s side, maybe his maternal grandfather, or uncle, because no one on his paternal side knows for sure how he got the name Thomas,or as to the details of who, or even remembers. Nevertheless, when Tec was born, he was given one of those relatives names, out of love, and respect for that person he was named for; T, Thomas, possibly maternal relation; E, Edward, for his paternal uncle; and C, Calhoun, is for his grandfather. What a great nickname, and tribute!
My general research into the Dowling family geneology has me overwhelmed, and tired! Tell your Moma that she is possibly absolutely correct when she says that she is related to Tec Dowling, via a cousin,….. someway, somehow.
According to the internet, William Dowling and his son, Henry, came over to Jamestown Colony, in Virginia, from Ireland. A child was born, and he was named Robert, the first Robert Dowling in America. Robert, eventuallly had sons, and they had sons, and so on, and so on, as the beginning of the Robert Dowling family saga.
Robert, or Robert, the II, traveled down through North Carolina, and to the upstate of South Carolina, five years after the first Methodist Church was founded in America. This Robert was a soldier in the American Revolution, and he is also known as the FATHER of the Dowling family of the south. He settled in Darlington, S.C., and his brother, or a son, John, I believe, settled in Brunson, S. C.. I am not completely sure of all of the particulars. However, I can tell you that all over the state, there are a lot of little “Roberts”, and “Robertas” roaming around, if you know what I mean. It’s just amasingly overwhelming to try to identify them all, and get it all exactly straight, yet, ultimately interesting to try!
So, yes Brad, it is a safe bet that you do have a DNA relation to Tec Dowling, to me, and probably the neighbors down the street. Also, to people in the next town, the next city, even the next state, and so on, and so forth, whether it is liked or not. All you can do is enjoy your heritage!! Enjoy the people you meet, because you may be ‘kin’ to them!
Cousin Karen
(great grand-daughter of John Calhoun Dowling)
Hey Brad,
My name is Betty Geiger and I am the great grand-daughter of Jamesina Dowling from S.C.
I know very little except we are related part of the Dowling/Tuten clan, used to have family reunions in Barnwell, SC at Hopewell Baptist Church and my granfather was James Acton Weems. His Mother was Jamesina Dowling and Her Mother was a Tuten. Are we related? Can you give me any history on famous relatives of ours? My grandfather used to tell us we were related to General Stonewall Jackson and I would like to know more. My 14 year old daughter is fascinated with this and wants more info, but unfortunately, I don’t have anything to go on. Can you help?
Hi again, Brad. I wanted to tell you that I had a 3rd cousin, Henry Dowling who lived in Petersburg, Va. near his two sisters, Ruth and Virginia Dowling. Henry and his sisters were 1st cousins to my grandfather, James Acton Weems. My grandfather had a brother, Maurice Dowling, who lived in El Paso, Texas, I believe, and passed away several years ago. The brothers had different last names because their mother,Jamesina, could not afford to take care of both young boys during the great depression, and her husband, Mr. Weems,as she called him, had abandoned them, so she sent the oldest boy to stay with relatives till she could send for him. She never was able to get him back and the boy’s name was legally changed to Dowling to reflect the rest of the family’s name, and my grandfather, James Weems, remained with his mother and lived most of his life in Columbia, S.C. till his death in 2003. He was married to my grandmother, Vera Betty Summerfield Weems, from Warrington, England, whom he met while stationed in England during WWII.
Hi Brad! One last thing…you have a cousin working with you at The State Newspaper! It’s my Mom! Audrey Birchmore in classifieds! Look her up! She loves this sorta stuff!!!
Have you a copy of the Dowling Family of the South, the Tutens are mentioned in there as well as the other Dowlings mentioned herein…a lot of the relatives are buried in Beufort, Sc.. Google The Dowling Family of the South…you will find walter woods…there is a lot of info there, I have found many relations through the site..
I don’t know if anyone is still interested in this line of geneology, but just to set the record straight, James Weems’ brother, Maurice changed his name to Maurice Dowling Hiers after his uncle, John Hiers that took care of him. He was my husband’s father and he passed away in July 2000. We are enjoying looking up our geneology and are thankful for the information provided.
Hi Charlene! I’m Betty Edwards, formerly Geiger. I read your post…my grandfather was James Weems, your Father-in -law’s brother…I met Uncle Maurice when I was a young girl…he and Aunt Jean came to SC to visit…I have also met Maurice Jr. and was curious…how is he? We have all lost touch since the passing of my grandparents….would love to hear from you all!!!
My name is Robert Stokes and I am a descendent of Lydia Ann Dowling. She married John Stokes. Three Dowling siblings married three Stokes siblings in Darlington, SC. John and Lydia had a son named Jehu Stokes born 1817-1818. I am trying to find confirmation of this for my application to Sons of American Revolution. Any help is appreciated.
Hello Brad
My great grandmother was Salina Newton and was born in Brunson SC. She was Mulato and Rev. William Hamilton Dowling fathered a daughter (Catherine) with her when they were both 17 years old. The 1860 census shows that they lived next door to each other, (family 38 and 39) most importantly Hampton Dowling never denighed being her father and was very suportive of her throughout his life. My father was born in 1897 and remembered him quite well. He often visited them when he came into the area to preach. According to SC law I’m Negro but have total White features.
Wow I’m the great great great grandaughter of William Hamilton Dowling, & Salina Newton I’m African Amercan I live in NYC ,William was A. Rev and so is my sister wonderful bloodline
Hello I’m Scott Denis in Irmo, SC I have a couple poems written and signed by Jamesina Dowling Weems, I got them in a box of things at an auction. Was she a poet?