You know, the way this scandal is unfolding, I’m starting to worry. First there was Petraeus, whose actions pretty much convince the casual observer that you can’t trust any man (I mean, really, if you can’t rely on a straight arrow like that…). Then there’s Gen. Allen, a four-star Marine, which to me conjures a picture of a guy who would brook zero deviation from regulations, the kind of guy who’d send a flirty email to a woman only if he were ordered to do so. Then there’s the fact that it was all being investigated by an FBI agent who was sending shirtless photos of himself to the original complainant….
Then I put all that together with the fact that there are now going to be more women in the U.S. Senate than ever… Really! 20 of them! Which is like a majority, right? (I’m not sure. When I was learning that in school, there was a girl in my class in a leather miniskirt and spike heels, and I just don’t know what was said that day…)
I’m worried that one day, when all the male senators are out chasing skirts, they will push through a provision to deal with the problem once and for all. They’ll pass a bill “redefining marriage,” in this way: If a woman wants to adopt a man, she has to have him “fixed” first, just like getting a dog.
You don’t think it can happen? Well, I hope not. But just in case, come on, guys — take a cold shower or something. This is ridiculous…