I don’t know about you, but I intend to be mentally prepared. Maybe it’s time I went back to school…

A few topics for consideration:

1. USC classes you won’t believe actually exist — OK, you made me look, and it was interesting, but it did not strain credulity. Yeah a class treating the Hunger Games as literature is ridiculous, but don’t you think higher education should be preparing us psychologically for the Zombie Apocalypse? Look how traumatized Rick Grimes and the others were. You know why? Because they were not prepared mentally! As for the other courses… Suddenly I’m flashing on some dialogue from “Ghostbusters” (the real one). Dean Yeager: “Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable! You are a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman!” Peter Venkman: “But the kids love us!”
2. Costco opens Columbia store today — Seriously, did any of you consider for an instant going there today? I’ll look at the traffic density function on Waze a couple of months from now and see if it’s safe, and maybe check it out then. Meanwhile, let me know if you hear we’re getting an Apple store.
3. US government blasts Baltimore police over race — And race isn’t the only problem. I saw “The Wire.”
4. Even under oath, Trump struggled with the truth — The Donald, deposed. In a 2007 case.
5. Is split-ticket voting making a comeback? With Trump on the ballot, some Republicans hope so. — It’s not “ticket splitting.” It’s being a rational, responsible voter. Anyone who votes exclusively for one party or the other and doesn’t consider that SOME candidates in the other party may be superior to those who oppose them should lose the right to vote. Voters have an obligation to think about each and every choice on the ballot. Harrumph.

There are other topics out there. Bring them up if you like.

Dwayne Stafford, the jail inmate accused of attacking Roof. Not a hero, but still…

You know, it’s a bit of a misnomer that I call these “Open Threads,” and then give you a bunch of specific topics. Basically, in reality, it’s a Virtual Front Page that I don’t put as much thought into — in terms of picking a lede, worrying about the mix, etc.:

Anyway, here are some topics:

1. Sheriff: Security snafu led to inmate assault on Dylann Roof — Three points to make: One, man is it hard to work up any sympathy, although of course, inmates should be protected from violence. Two: The story says he attacked him for “no reason.” Really? Because most of us wouldn’t have trouble thinking of one if we did it. Three: So is “snafu” an OK term now in a family newspaper? That’s kind of FUBAR. Wait… can something be “kind of” FUBAR?
2. Ryan Stands by Trump but Says Endorsement No ‘Blank Check’ — Really? Because so far, it pretty much looks like it is just that.
3. Swing-state polls show Trump trailing Clinton by wide margins — Yeah, well… I’m not breathing easy until it comes out that way on Election Day.
4. NIH Plans To Lift Ban On Research Funds For Part-Human, Part-Animal Embryos — As my grandson has taken to saying, What the what? Where are we, the island of Dr. Moreau?
5. Virginia officer found guilty of manslaughter — Again, The Guardian leads with a story about gun violence in America that you have to hunt for on U.S. sites. But it’s a worthy story. This is about an 18-year-old kid shot when he was suspected of shoplifting.
6. Egypt ‘kills head of Islamic State’s Sinai branch’ — But maybe it didn’t really happen, right, since the BBC puts it in quotes…

Meanwhile, as I type this, the president is having a live presser at the Pentagon:

President Barack Obama meets for lunch with formerly incarcerated individuals who have received commutations, at Busboys and Poets in Washington, D.C., March 30, 2016. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Some things out there at this hour (feel free to bring up your own):

1. SC resident infected with brain-eating amoeba with 95 percent death rate — They’re hoping to get a potentially life-saving drug to the patient in time. I don’t know know what to say about it other than God help this poor person.
2. GOP reaches ‘new level of panic’ over Trump candidacy — After he refused to endorse Ryan and McCain, GOP leaders are in meltdown mode; even Reince Priebus has found the self-respect to become “livid.” Meanwhile, Mike Pence pointedly did endorse Ryan. Meg Whitman is going to vote for “her.” And what else? Oh, yeah — while not completely tired of attacking the Khans, he switched gears and lashed out at a baby. I’m guessing he’s been told you’re supposed to kiss them, not attack them, but does he listen?
3. Trump Edges Close to Clinton With Flood of Donations — Yeah, that’s right. Even as every Republican with a clue is desperate for a way out of the situation, his base is investing in him more than ever. Which reminds me of this item from The Takeaway…
4. A policy expert explains how anti-intellectualism gave rise to Donald Trump — It’s an interview with Max Boot, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations and a former foreign policy adviser to the presidential campaigns of John McCain, Mitt Romney and Marco Rubio. And author of a New York Times op-ed, “How the ‘Stupid Party’ Created Donald Trump.”
5. Clinton, Kaine Driven By Their Faith In The ‘Social Gospel’ — Yep. First they stole flag-waving from the GOP; now this. Presumably, they’ll let the Republicans keep guns. Or maybe not.
6. President Obama Commutes the Sentences of 214 Additional People — He’s commuted more sentences than the previous 9 presidents combined, according to the White House.

I’m back from vacation, although I’m still stubbornly refusing to shave. Here’s what we have today:

1. Obama goes after Trump: ‘I’m tired of folks trash-talking America’s military’ — Don’t you love the way Trump’s GOP has ceded the rah-rah flag-waving stuff — normally their forte — to the Democrats? I love me some irony, and this is Grade A. Oh, and the criticism from Republicans that I wrote about this morning is currently leading the NYT (see above).
2. Pope Francis Says It Is Wrong To Identify Islam With Violence — Just so you know…
3. Looking ahead to the Rio Olympics — There was a thing about this on public radio today and I missed it, but we can have our own discussion here. One important health warning, though: Comment all you want, but keep your mouths shut while doing so…
4. His friend disappeared while tubing; he had a ‘couple of beers’, then called police — That’s all. Just thought I’d share that headline. It’s stuff like this that caused Mark Twain to want to give up on humans.
5. U.S. Targets ISIS With New Round of Airstrikes in Libya — I mentioned this earlier today, but thought I’d give you another crack at it. Somewhat to my surprise, the WSJ is the only paper leading with it at this hour. (See below.)

The most memorable image of the Reagan assassination attempt. In part, I recall it as the first time I ever saw an Uzi.

Let’s look at some headlines before the convention evening gets rolling:

1. Trump urges Russia to interfere (again) in U.S. politics — Yet another thing that, taken all by itself, would sink the hopes of any candidate in any normal election year. But watch — it won’t slow down Trump? Why? Because anyone who would consider voting for him doesn’t understand how outrageous what he said is.
2. Prison minister, family vouch for serial Columbia child molester’s freedom — Do you think a child molester should ever, EVER be free again? This is a crime that tests my opposition to the death penalty, that makes one almost doubt the wisdom of the Constitutional ban on cruel and unusual punishment. Seems like the very least we could do is make sure such people are never in a position to get near a child again…
3. Man Who Tried to Kill Reagan in 1981 Will Be Released — I’d let this guy go before I’d let a child molester go. Which is moot, because I wouldn’t have let this guy go, either.
4. All Charges Dropped Against Officers in Freddie Gray Case — Not sure what to say aside from the fact that this seems a logical outcome based on what I’ve heard about the evidence in the case. It’s ironic — there have been some truly horrific cases in which cops have wrongly shot black men. The case in North Charleston comes to mind. But the weird thing is, two of the cases that initially launched Black Lives Matter were based on protesters leaping to shaky conclusions.
5. How Tim Kaine Went From City Council To Vice Presidential Candidate — Tonight will be our first good look at the guy who will be vice president unless the majority of voters really do go stark raving mad in November.

I like the Reuters image The Atlantic used with their report.

I realize that at this hour on a Friday I won’t have a lot of takers, but here goes:

1. Shooting Kills 6 in Munich; City Shuts Transit to Hunt Gunmen — So not ALL mass shootings occur in this country. It’s interesting — it’s harder to get guns in Europe, yet otherwise it seems easier for terrorists to operate.
2. “I Alone Can Fix It.” — Here’s a place for y’all to comment on the speech last night by the Great and Powerful Oz. Here’s what his team did for that speech: They took all the stuff he likes to say, and wrote it into complete sentences. Same crazy, but more coherent. Amazingly, he actually read it. For more observations from me, go to Twitter and scroll down to last night’s stuff.
3. Clinton is getting ready to pick Kaine as her VP … we think — I hope that’s right. He seems the best of the lot in the short list.
4. My name is Michael Caine … actor changes name due to Isis — I love this. His real name is Maurice Micklewhite, but airport security people refused to believe that, so he’s legally changing to his stage name.

We may not be seeing one of THESE waving at the Olympics…

I’d make it a VFP, but I don’t see a good lede out there. And since I no longer have to publish a front page everyday regardless of whether there is real news, I won’t…

1. Brief chaos as anti-Trump delegates are rebuffed — Or, as The Fix put it, The GOP just had a nightmare moment on the convention floor. Here’s the problem with that — the Post and other media keep documenting these things that would sink any other candidate in the history of the country, and it fazes Trump not one wit, because his supporters neither know nor care how things are supposed to go.
2. McMaster to give nominating speech for Trump at RNC — Oh, Henry! Whatever did we do, for you to shame us so…
3. Baton Rouge Officers Were ‘Definitely Ambushed’ — Do these outrages cease to be news at some point?
4. ‘Many hurt by axeman’ on German train — But none killed because, you see, he didn’t have a gun. Hint, hint.
5. Russia may be banned from Rio Olympics over state-sponsored doping — Seriously, Putin’s Russia just doesn’t care about rules. Maybe that’s what Trump admires about him.

A few items worth discussing:

1. Black Lives Matter protest causes road closures, police activity — I didn’t even realize it was going on until this morning. You? And what do you think? Think these things accomplish anything? I’m in one of my jaded-about-demonstrations moods. Probably a separate post.
2. Theresa May Poised to Be Britain’s Next Prime Minister — And she doesn’t want the UK out of the EU any more than I do, or Cameron did. But it doesn’t look like we’re going to get what we want. My question is, will we ever get what we need?
3. In bashing Trump, Ginsburg may have just crossed an important line — Wow. That was not cool, was it?
4. Pope appoints ex-Fox News correspondent as Vatican spokesman — Whoa! This is so wrong! Nobody in the Vatican even told me there was an opening. If the fix is gonna be in, why not just hire Father Guido? That would actually be kind of cool…

Fr. Guido Sarducci