Category Archives: Personal

Nosy questions

Got this e-mail today from a nosy reader:

Please inform readers on the following:
a. How many members of "The State’s" editorial staff have children in elementary and H.S.?  Include in that count the publisher and editor-in-chief.
b. How  many of those children are in private schools?
c. How many of those children are in public schools?
d. How many of the public schools in which the staff’s children are enrolled are graded "unsatisfactory" by PACT or "No Child Left Behind" standards?

Thank you.

John Johnson
Winnsboro

Now why do I get the feeling that this is a challenge of some sort? Anyway, I replied as follows:

    I’m the only editor in editorial with a school-age child, and not for long, as she graduates next week. She will be my fifth child to graduate from public schools. Two of my colleagues have children who haven’t started school yet.
    The publisher has a teenaged stepson. I don’t know where he goes to school.
    We don’t have an editor-in-chief. I’m over editorial; another guy is over the newsroom. Totally separate arrangement.
    As for "D," none. Most of my kids graduated before those grades started, but they all went to Brookland-Cayce. So whatever that’s rated.
    Why do you ask?

What I did not mention, because it seemed irrelevant to what he seemed to be driving at, is that my youngest is graduating from a public high school in another state, which is a long story. It’s actually her third high school; she takes after her Dad in that regard (mine were in South Carolina, Florida and Hawaii). She also attended B-C, and the Governor’s School for the Arts in Greenville. She’s out of state further pursuing the art that took her to Greenville.

My other four went exclusively to Brookland-Cayce, and graduated from there. Go, Bearcats.

A Chicago Idyll

Chicago

T
he Plan was for me to be back in South Carolina Sunday night. It didn’t work out because of a little time-travel anomaly: My flight out of Pennsylvania last night got delayed, and delayed again, until it wasn’t even leaving until AFTER my connecting flight at Dulles would leave.

So I stayed over a night, and ended up going to Chicago (cue overdub, w/voice reading Sandburg poem). Which means I got to play this game:

Mike Fitts answers his phone; I say, "Hey, could I speak to Mr. Rooney? This is Ferris Bueller. I’m sitting in a bar in Chicago watching the Cubs’ season opener." Which was true. Unfortunately, when I told him the score was nothing to nothing, he failed to say, "Who’s winning?" so that I could say, "The Bears." Other than that, it was perfect.

Since MIke’s a Cubs fan, it pleased me to tell him that so far, they were having a perfect season. OfDa_bar
course, it was the first inning. Before there were three outs, the Reds would score two, prompting the crusty guy next to me (I think he was some kind of cousin to Slats Grobnik) to laugh and say, "The Cubs not being behind only lasted about five minutes."

A few minutes later, I left to go check on my flight, saying I hoped the rest of the season goes better. The Grobnik guy laughed again and said, "Thanks, but I don’t really care." He was more interested in insisting to the barmaid that since this was Monday, it was supposed to be bean soup for lunch, not lentil. She said she ran out of beans. So he said he’d take the lentil, with less levity than he employed in accepting the fate of the Cubbies.

At that moment, I was supposed to be in Augusta at the Masters practice round. I had never been before, and was only going this time because my brother-in-law from Memphis couldn’t use his tickets. But thank to the airline, I missed that. So I got what enjoyment I could out of my little unplanned Ferris moment.

All of this helped me appreciate the editorial I read in the Trib I had just bought — coincidentally on a fateful day. Meanwhile, guess what else is up for sale in the City of Big Shoulders?

Radio, Radio — again

Radio3
Y
ou’ve waited so long I can no longer disappoint you. I’ll be back on the radio — public radio, that is — this morning at 9:05 a.m.

With me will be my faithful sidekick, Andy — you know, like Andy Devine. Jingles. Wait for me, Wild Bill? I guess you’re too young.

Anyway, I think we’ll be talking about a TV show from the night before. Whatever. Just as long as it’s not a pledge drive.

Too late — but here’s my bracket

Brackets_warthen

W
ell, I missed the deadline for getting in my bracket — both to the McCain site and the, uh, less licit arrangement in which I was asked to join — by a few minutes. I have no excuse. I was busy working, which is, of course, no excuse.

But I went ahead and filled it out anyway, so that you can see, once again, how lousy I am at prognostication.

Oh, and if you’re worried that I’m cheating even the slightest bit, I can assure you without fear of any credible contradiction that there is no possibility of that. I haven’t the slightest idea how the first games are going, or even which ones are the first ones. I just raced through the form, looking at the names and the seeds, and writing down winners.

If you doubt me, you don’t understand the extent to which I do not follow sports. I’ll tune in to the league playoffs and World Series as long as the Braves are in the running, and I will pay some attention to the NCAA IF I have filled out a bracket and IF my teams are still in it — which I won’t even investigate until the first games have been played.

I could have turned my bracket in tomorrow to the ool-pay, and nobody’s money would have been in danger. Unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of pull with the local mob.

In limbo

Sorry to have slackened the pace on posting. Pretty much unavoidable.Photo_030207_004

I’m in a hospital in Savannah. I had sinus surgery late yesterday. (You know that headache I’ve had for the past year? It’s about that.)

Anyway, I’m sitting here having been dismissed by my physician, but waiting for the hospital gears to finish grinding to the point that they’ll let me go. You know the drill.

I hope to be back in the normal swing of things in a day or two. Just not today.

Take care, folks. And as your mama might have said, Be sweet to each other.

What do you mean by ‘choice?’

So you’re for ‘school choice.’
What do you mean by that?

By Brad Warthen
Editorial Page Editor
EVERYBODY likes “school choice,” it seems. S.C. Superintendent of Education Jim Rex is for it. Gov. Mark Sanford is for it.
    Even my bishop, Robert Baker of the Diocese of Charleston, favors it, as he said in a letter
thatBishop
appeared in our bulletin at St. Peter’s Catholic Church 14 days ago.
    But look just a bit closer at what “school choice” means to each of them, and you find profound differences.
    Personally, I’m suspicious when any policy issue is summed up as a matter of “choice.” It often means that the people advocating the given position can’t sell it on its merits. They may be avoiding less palatable, but more descriptive, terms such as “abortion,” or “public subsidies for private schools.”
    But not always.
    Of course, the governor is pushing public subsidies for private schools.
    Mr. Rex seems to be clothing his proposed liberalization of school attendance rules in the “choice” mantle, at least in part, in order to head off the folks on the governor’s side.
    In last year’s election, he essentially said to the school privatization crowd: You want choice? I got your choice right here, in the public schools.
    Then, he trotted out his proposals in a press conference the day before the usual crowd unveiled its usual private-school-subsidy plan last week.
    Not that I don’t think Mr. Rex is sincere. He really does want to make it possible for parents to send their kids to the public schools of their choice. It’s an attractive idea.
    But the idea has its limitations. Richland District 2 — which already has a generous intradistrict “choice” policy — can’t make enough room when every child in Fairfield County wants to come on down. How will the state pay to transport those children, when — as is too often the case — their families can’t afford a car?
    The other side has the same problems. Even if we fantasize that an excellent, welcoming private school even exists in a poor, rural child’s county, and has space for him and his voucher — how’s he going to travel the 10 miles each day?
    I know Mr. Rex has thought about those things, by contrast with the private-school choice advocates. We’ll see how well he addresses them.
    The governor is sincere, too. He really does want to use tax money to pay people to desert public schools.
    I know my bishop is sincere. He believes parents should determine what sort of education their children receive, and that it’s important to provide an option for them that teaches Christian values. I agree completely.
    Where we differ is on whether it’s right to ask state taxpayers to subsidize Catholic education. I say no. We shouldn’t do that any more than we should ask the state to fund a new steeple for us.
    The bishop’s letter pretty much freaked me out, because it used rhetoric of the more extreme advocates of privatization. Worse, it urged Catholics to attend a rally those folks are holding at the State House on Tuesday.
    Since then, the bishop has assured me that he did not mean to back any movement that criticized or attacked public schools. And while he’s not withdrawing his support for the Catholic “choice,” you won’t see him at that rally.
    “I apologize for the tone of my letter,” he said, referring to portions that repeated the “South Carolinians for Responsible Government” mantra that “most of our children are not receiving a sound education” from public schools. “I would reword it” if he had it to do over, he told me Friday. He “would like to be seen as a respectful partner in dialogue” with public educators.
    He just wants people to be able to afford the Catholic option. The diocese closed a number of schools that served poor and minority communities back before he became bishop, and he’d like to reverse that trend.
    He would only seek state subsidies “for the working poor and people who are economically at the poverty level.” That’s just what Mark Sanford said he wanted when he ran for governor in 2002. But when out-of-state libertarian extremists started funneling vast sums of money into the state, he embraced their far more radical agenda, which has its roots in the notion that “government schools” are essentially a bad idea.
    My bishop doesn’t embrace that. Of course, I oppose even the more limited funding of Catholic schools with public money. If we Catholics want to provide education to the less fortunate — which we should do — we need to dig into our pockets and pay for that ministry ourselves.
    Jesus didn’t fund his ministry with the money St. Matthew had squeezed from the public as a tax collector. He didn’t take from the world; he gave. He told us to do likewise. We Catholics are far too stingy when the collection basket comes around, and that should change. We shouldn’t force Baptists, Jews, agnostics or anyone else to make up for our failing.
    Uh-oh; I’m preaching again.
    Another eminent Charlestonian told me he was concerned about the bishop’s letter, and kept meaning to say something to him, but hesitated because of his reluctance as a lifelong Catholic to tell his bishop what he ought to do.
    As a convert baptized at Thomas Memorial Baptist Church in Bennettsville, I was not so inhibited. I sort of went all Martin Luther on the bishop. That’s OK, he said: “You’re free to say you disagree.” Which I do. But not entirely. I’m glad we spoke.
    Bottom line: When somebody says they’re for “school choice,” ask for details. The differences are huge, and of critical importance to what kind of state we’re all going to live in.

For the bishop’s letter, my letter to him, and more, go to  http://blogs.thestate.com/bradwarthensblog/.

Out with the UnParty, in with ENERGY!

Nobody’s proposing a comprehensive energy plan, so I guess we’ll have to do it ourselves.

I’ve had this idea percolating lately that I wanted to develop fully before tossing it out. Maybe do a column on it first, roll it out on a Sunday with lots of fanfare. But hey, the situation calls for action, not hoopla.

So here’s the idea (we’ll refine is as we go along):

Reinvent the Unparty as the Energy Party. Not the Green Party — it’s not just about the environment — but a serious energy party. Go all the way, get real, make like we actually know there’s a war going on. Do the stuff that neither the GOP nor the Dems would ever do:

  • Jack up CAFE standards.
  • Put about a $2 per gallon tax on gasoline.
  • Spend the tax proceeds on a Manhattan project on clean, alternative energy (hydrogen, bio, wind, whatever), and on public transportation (especially light rail).
  • Reduce speed limits everywhere to no more than 55 mph. (This must be credited to Samuel Tenenbaum, who bent my ear about it yet again this morning, and apparently does the same to every presidential wannabe who calls his house looking for him or Inez).
  • ENFORCE the damn’ speed limits. If states say they can’t, give them the resources out of the gas tax money.
  • Build nuclear power plants as fast as we can (safely, of course).
  • Either ban SUVs for everyone who can’t demonstrate a life-or-death need to drive one, or tax them at 100 percent of the sales price and throw THAT into the win-the-war kitty.
  • If we go the tax route on SUVs (rather than banning), launch a huge propaganda campaign along the lines of "Loose Lips Sink Ships" (for instance, "Hummers are Osama’s Panzer Corps"). Make wasting fuel the next smoking or DUI — absolutely socially unacceptable.
  • Because it will be a few years before we can be completely free of petrol, drill the ever-lovin’ slush out of the ANWR, explore for oil off Myrtle Beach, and build refinery capacity — all for a limited time of 20 years. Put the limit in the Constitution.

You get the idea. Respect no one’s sacred cows, left or right; go all-out to win the war and, in the long run, save the Earth. Pretty soon, tyrants from Tehran to Moscow to Caracas will be tumbling down without our saying so much as "boo" to them, and global warming will slow within our lifetimes.

THEN, once we’ve done all that, we can start insisting upon some common sense on entitlements, and health care. Change the name to the Pragmatic Party then. Whatever works, whatever is practical, whatever solves our problems — no matter whose ox gets gored. Leave the ideologues in the dust, while we solve the problems.

How’s that sound? Can any of y’all get behind that?

Draft column

Why doesn’t Uncle Sam want me?
Or you, for that matter

   

It was the first American army and an army of everyone, men of every size and shape and makeup, different colors, different nationalities, different ways of talking, and all degrees of physical condition. Many were missing teeth or fingers, pitted by smallpox or scarred by past wars or the all-too-common hazards of life and toil in the eighteenth century.

— 1776, by David McCullough

My first ambition in life was to be a United States Marine. I was 3 or 4 years old and we lived in Columbia, where my Dad — a career naval officer — was doing a brief tour at the local recruiting depot. I guess the posters made an impression.
    The aspiration never went away, even as I moved on to more achievable goals. I learned that neither the Corps nor the Army nor any other service would take me. They had this thing about people with asthma.
    I accepted it, but couldn’t help thinking, “There’s got to be some way they could use me.”
But no. As long as there was a Selective Service, there was a huge supply of young guys with no black marks on their medical histories. And in the initial decades after the draft ended, the nation’s military needs were met by volunteers.
    But not any more.
    Today, the Army and the Marine Corps need recruits. The Army has increased the maximum age to 42. Not high enough for me, but it’s a start.
    The Washington Post reported just last week that the services plan to ask new Defense Secretary Robert Gates for 30,000 more soldiers and three more Marine battalions. Unlike his predecessor, he might actually say “yes.”
    But where’s he going to get them? Here’s one place:
    The Post reported that in addition to seeking those regulars, “the Army will press hard for ‘full access’ to the 346,000-strong Army National Guard and the 196,000-strong Army Reserves by asking Gates to take the politically sensitive step of easing the Pentagon restrictions on the frequency and duration of involuntary call-ups for reservists, according to two senior Army officials.”
    The post-Vietnam military has been highly resistant to the idea of a draft. Draftees are harder to motivate, train and rely on than volunteers. A positive attitude counts for a lot under combat conditions. But what do you call “involuntary call-ups” if not a draft? Some of those people are older than I am, and some are in worse physical condition.
    Sure, they’re much less likely to complain about being called up, since they volunteered originally. I realize that they are already trained, and generally more experienced than the regulars. I understand that veterans tend to be more valuable in combat than green troops. Experience counts in everything.
    But it’s wrong to keep asking the same brave people to give and give and give until they’ve got nothing left. It’s even more wrong that the rest of us haven’t been asked to do anything.
    Sen. Joe Biden has this speech that I’ve heard three or four times now about how George W. Bush’s greatest failing as president is the opportunity he threw away in 2001. On Sept. 12, he could have asked us to change our lives so that we could be independent of the oil-producing thugs that finance terrorism. We would have done it gladly.
    But we weren’t asked to do that. We were given a free pass while our very best bled and died in our behalf. We weren’t even asked to buy war bonds. To our everlasting shame, we opted for the opposite — we got tax cuts, even as our troops went without the equipment and the reinforcements needed to do the job.
    Personally, I think we should have a draft, and not for Rep. Charles Rangel’s reasons. He seems to think that if more people were subject to a draft, we’d have no wars. I think we ought to have a draft for the simple reason that citizenship ought to cost something. We scorn illegal aliens who risk their lives crossing the desert to come here and do our menial labor, but the rest of us are citizens why — because we were born here? How is that fair?
    We ought to have a draft, but not like the one we had when I was a kid. We need a universal draft, one that will find a use for every man (I wouldn’t draft women, but we can argue about that later).
    Set aside for a moment (but not for long) our immediate, urgent need for a lot more boots on the ground. Even in peacetime, veterans make better citizens, and better leaders. The last generation of leaders had the experience of World War II in common, and we were better off for it. They understood that they were Americans first, and that it was possible to work with people who didn’t think the way they did. They knew citizenship was a precious thing, and they appreciated it as a result. How many people in the top echelons of politics — or the media, for that matter — have that kind of understanding to that degree? Far too few.
    If we’re not going to have a draft, why not let more people who actually want to serve do so, at least in some capacity? Sure, I’m 53 and I take five different drugs to keep me breathing, but fitness is relative — my pulse, blood pressure and cholesterol are all great, and I can do 30 push-ups. Try me.
    A postscript: It reads like I’m setting myself up as far braver than Bill Clinton and his ilk. I don’t mean to. If I had been healthier when I was younger, I might have been the biggest coward in Ontario. If the Army were taking 53-year-olds today, I might shut up. I have no idea. All I can do is write what I actually think, as I actually am.
    And what I think is that more of us have to get off the sidelines and do something to help fight this war, which is going to go on for a long, long time, no matter what happens in Iraq.

If I were a woman, I wouldn’t be big enough

Well, I went to give blood last night, and this time they allowed me to do so. My iron was good, and for once I wasn’t taking an antibiotic for a sinus infection.

Since it had been so long, and they didn’t know when they’d get me back in good shape, they took twice as much — or rather, twice as many red cells. It’s an interesting process. They pump out a lot of your blood, running it through a machine that removes the red cells, then pumps back your plasma along with a little salt water to make up for any volume lost in the process. It’s pretty weird.

But I recommend it. This way, it’s twice as long before they expect you to be back. Also, counterintuitively, the needle is smaller — even though it has two channels in it, one for taking and one for putting back.

That’s not all that’s surprising about it. I made the higher iron requirement, and I made the weight fairly easily. But if I had been a woman, I would not have. Here’s the rule:

To qualify as a donor on the ALYX System, males must be at least 5’ 1 and weigh at least 150 pounds, and women must be at least 5’ 5 and weigh at least 175 pounds.

Why is that? I don’t know. I asked, and was told it had something to do with body density.

Now that I think about it, it’s probably ungallant of me to point this out, since there were two ladies in front of me giving double red cells — both of whom we now know weigh more than I do. Hey, I didn’t make the rules.

Hello out there

Sorry to have been such a lousy blogger the last few days. Spending time with the family and such, and letting work-related things slide for once on my days off.

I’ll get back on the ball Monday, if not sooner.

I’ve been thankful for the time with the fam. Anybody out there want to elaborate on anything they’re thankful for?

Time for a break

This happened a few minutes ago.

I’m rushing around trying to do 10 things and running late on all of them when Nature Calls, and I run into the Men’s room and say "Hi" to the two cleaning ladies in there, step around their cleaning cart on my way to the urinal, start to reach for my zipper a couple of steps out so as to avoid delay, and it hits me:

"Cleaning ladies?"

I pull hand away from zipper just in time, turn on my heel and start babbling apologies on my way back to the door, "Oh, I am so sorry I wasn’t thinking I’m just running around doing so many things that I don’t know what I’m doing and …"

But I’ve hardly taken a step back when I see they’ve both thrown their hands up, and they’re saying, "Oh go ahead take your time we were just leaving we’re going out…" And they fly out the door ahead of me, leaving their cart behind.

Wow. That was really embarrassing. I’ve never been that absent-minded before. It was a new depth.

I’m going to have to slow down, and start considering what I’m doing. And starting next week, I will.

Last night’s dream

Summon Joseph to my presence…

Joseph, let’s see how you do with this one. I had a dream last night. Well, actually, this morning, I suppose, since I was able to remember it when I woke. I remembered it quite clearly then, but it’s been several hours — affairs of state and such, you know. Pyramids to be built. Anyway, I’ll tell you what I still remember, and see if you can make sense of it.

I dreamed that I lived in a place called "South Carolina." Hard to describe what it was like; nothing like Egypt in any case. I realize context is important, suffice to say that within the dream at least I understood the context and the stakes of what was happening. I can do little better than that.

I was not myself. I was, if you can believe this, a scribe. Hah! Go ahead; you are permitted to laugh. Not an ordinary scribe, of course, but a sort of chief scribe. That’s what made the thing I did so odd. It seems that South Carolina was in the final weeks ("weeks" — see there; I’ve picked up an expression from your people) of a power struggle to see who would rule that strange land. These struggles occurred so frequently that they had a special word for it in their language: "Election."

Anyway, the present ruler was named "Sanford," and he had held power for only four cycles of the Nile. His position was secure, and yet it was hard to explain why. The lords of his own faction, the "republicans," held him in contempt, although few dared to oppose him openly. This seemed to be a function of their religion. They worshiped a god named "Reagan," and held elephants to be sacred. Any republican who opposed another in the marketplace was excommunicated, and earned the ever-lasting disapproval of Reagan.

He was opposed by a high priest of an jackass-worshiping cult called the "democrats." He was called "Tommy." This Tommy claimed to be motivated by a fire in his belly, yet somehow he had been unable to capitalize on the fact that Sanford had brought no blessings upon the land, and built no pyramids. The augerers said that Tommy still trailed by double-digits, whatever that meant.

I was very concerned, because my own auguries had told me that the land would be visited with plagues if Sanford ruled for another four cycles. I decided to seize power myself, as uncharacteristic as that might be for a scribe. From here on, I will try to describe it in the terms and concepts of that land and time, without pausing to explain. Here is what happened:

… I was walking along, thinking upon how to launch a last minute, independent, write-in campaign successfully — something one would only try to do in a dream, unless one is Bill Barnet. As I said, I was walking, and realized I was crossing a parking lot, and I was passing through a sparse crowd standing and looking at some spectacle to my left.

    A sort of makeshift stage had been constructed on a flatbed trailer, with speakers on the sides and a microphone on a stand front and center. At the microphone — actually, holding the mike in his hand as he moved about — was a wizened man in an Uncle Sam costume. But this Uncle Sam wasn’t an object of patriotic pride. Rather, he was deliberately done up to be an ugly and contemptible figure. His movements, his tone, his expressions and everything he said were designed to inspire loathing in onlookers. It was clear, somehow, that he didn’t symbolize America in this characterization. Instead, he was supposed to be the personification of "government," and his intent was to get the audience to despise what he represented as much as he and his unseen masters despised it themselves. He was determined to persuade us that every man was an island, and that the idea of banding together to solve the problems that had plagued us in common for generations was foolishness.

    I became increasingly angry at the way he was sullying not only America (at least indirectly, by using that costume), but the system of republican government that our forebears had striven and died for. I resolved that it was time to stop him before he succeeded in his aim of sowing despair in every heart there. So I mounted the stage, and took the microphone away from him. It was easy. I just grabbed it, and saw no more than a brief look of pure malice on the creature’s face as I turned away from him toward the people in the parking lot. I suppose he slithered away; I didn’t give him another thought.

    I realized that my calculations about how and whether to enter the race for governor were behind me; I had just launched my campaign spontaneously, which as crazy as it was, felt more right than I would have thought. I raised the microphone to my face and turned to the people. As I opened my mouth to speak, I didn’t know what I would say, but I knew that the words would come to me.

    But the people were no longer standing on a parking lot in the unblocked sun, and I was no longer on a flatbed trailer. I was on a broad, wraparound, covered front porch of the kind you see on houses built in South Carolina a century or so ago. The people were on a tree-shaded lawn, and I could see them easily over the tops of the neatly-trimmed azaleas planted around the porch. They had drinks in their hands, and I had the sense that they were sated with barbecue, and in the mood to listen on this pleasant late afternoon.

    So I spoke, without pausing to think. I said things no politician in South Carolina had said before — true things, about the way things really are, and about the way they should be, and how it was that WE had the power in our hands to close the gap, if we would only set aside the stupid things that separated us and pulled together. I didn’t think about it at the time, but I suppose in retrospect that the crowd was of the sort that could afford to give to a campaign, the kind you see at high-rolling barbecues. I hadn’t set up the event, but was taking advantage of the opportunity to get my message out. It was well received.

    I talked, and the crowd started changing, but I paid it no mind and kept talking. Gradually, I became aware that my listeners were now all black, and more interactive than the passive yuppie types that I had started with. It wasn’t just me on the porch speaking OUT to an audience. The audience was around me, and with me, and we were delivering the speech together somehow. I realized that my words were rhyming. This alarmed me for a second, as I thought the folks around me would think I was mocking them by acting out a stereotype, pretending to channel Jesse Jackson or some such. But I wasn’t doing that — I had started rhyming naturally, because the thoughts I was  expressing were that poetic and harmonious; there was nothing prosaic about them. I also worried briefly that I wouldn’t be able to keep speaking the truth and making it rhyme. But I needn’t have worried. The words kept coming, without missing a beat, and the truth sounded truer than ever this way.

    So I began to sing. And everyone began to sing with me, nobody missing a word or a beat, even though not a word was preplanned. We sang out truth, We sang out justice, We sang out the love between our brothers and our sisters, just like in the song. Only those weren’t the words, and that wasn’t the tune.

    And then it was time to go forth and DO. So, singing and laughing together, pressed so close that it was hard to tell where one of us ended and the other began, we moved toward the porch steps. And we tripped on each other and tumbled down the steps, but we laughed because everyone was all right and it didn’t matter. And we kept singing the truth, and clapping, and moving together, and in that way we went forth…

    … complete change of scene. I’m in a rambling house, loosely filled with people scattered about in each room. It’s my house, although it’s no house I’ve ever lived in in real life. The people are members of my family, and friends, and young-adult friends of my children. The initial excitement of the campaign is over. People are lethargic, passive, standing and sitting about in room after room in little conversational groups, talking about nothing in particular in low voices. The scene, now that I think about it, is visually a lot like the scene in "The Godfather" when Michael comes home after his father is shot, and everybody is sitting about in a state of uncertainty. Only maybe not quite as anxious.

    This won’t do, I realize. There’s no time for coasting like this. I start hectoring people like a drill sergeant and herding them together to where I can speak to them all. I berate them for losing heart and forgetting their mission, for forgetting that we CAN win, but only if we act like we know it. I issue orders. I tell them all that this isn’t enough people, and certainly not enough activity, to get the job done. I tell every one of them to call ten friends, and tell each of THEM to call ten friends, and get them all busy — stuffing envelopes, knocking on doors, preparing signs, working up voter lists, doing phone banks. People come and go, and the house becomes more crowded and  more hectic, but in a purposeful way that unmistakeably denotes progress. I get on the mobile phone to top strategists and fund-raisers from both the Republican and Democratic camps, people who I know are sick of the lousy choices their own parties present, people who are tired of the way things are, and who have the skills that a campaign needs.

    The Unparty begins to actually take shape, and start acting like it knows it can win.

    … time passes, still within the context of the few days left in the campaign, and numbers change. I get reports that Moore has dropped to below 20 percent of likely voters. Sanford still has the plurality, with something close to 40. The number of undecideds is dwindling. There are inklings that Moore may throw in the towel, and his supporters certainly wouldn’t go for Sanford. They’d either vote for me, or stay home. I am within reach. But I know that Moore doesn’t really want to quit, and he probably resents me, because he had felt he was in striking distance before I jumped in. As I walk through the bustling campaign HQ with the aides who had just brought me this news, on our way to an impromptu strategy meeting at which we will decide what to do in light of it, it occurs to me that Moore won’t just drop out. He’ll want something, I think. Two more things occur to me — first, that these people around me who have worked so hard to get to this point will want me to give him what he wants in order to cinch victory; second, that I really, really don’t want to. I want to keep speaking truth; I don’t want to compromise anything, even if that gets me to the place where I can start acting upon that truth.

    I realize — even in dreams, it seems I am engaged in punditry — that the choice before me is to be like Moore or like Sanford. Moore would seek a deal to get something done. Sanford would decline to concede, and get nothing done. Neither approach had done South Carolina much good. There had to be another way, a better way. If there was any point in my running, it was to find that way. In a moment, we’d be in the meeting room, the door would close, and my most trusted supporters would turn to me to hear what I wanted to do. What would I say?

    At that point, the dream ended.

So, Joseph, what do you make of that? Interpret it in a way that I can make practical use of it, and I’ll let you keep your head. Oh, lighten up! Don’t look at me that way — it was a joke, sort of. Just tell me what you make of my dream…

Art restoration

John72
T
his is one for you art lovers out there. My roommate from my USC days recently took part in the special pre-demolition reception for former inmates of the Honeycombs. He will remain nameless for now — all I will say is that he was an art major, and that is him at the bottom of the above image.

As you see him, he has just restored a graffiti work from his early Gonzo-minimalist period — or restored it as well as he could, working in a hurried fashion before the university authorities could notice he had slipped away from the group.

By the way, my roommate was the responsible one in our duo — he kept his side of the room spotless, with all his art supplies neatly stacked and categorized, his clothes put away in the closet. He was the one with the short, conservative hair. I think he even used to make his bed.

My side looked like a waste dump, featuring pots with week-old food cooked on with my contraband hotplate, sloppily-hung posters and dirty clothes. The finishing touch was my mountain of State newspapers, not one of which I ever tossed, constantly spilling over to his side, and earning me the sobriquet "Ratso Rizzo" (we had both seen "Midnight Cowboy" over at the Russell House). He still calls me that, even though I’ve cut my hair and shaved.

Connoisseurs of early-1970s, 4th-floor Snowden culture will recognize the above hastily-penned reproduction as only dimly evocative of the original, once-thought-to-be-immortal work that was scratched deeply into the paint that coated the concrete-block wall. It was located over the elevator immediately across from our room, and was still there when I took my bride by there on our honeymoon three years later. I was proud to play the docent and explain to her the history behind this treasure. She was suitably impressed, I think — she was speechless.

Unfortunately, the original was lost to a later renovation of the building — probably about the time they put those sissy dividers in to make separate shower stalls in the floor’s one bathroom.

But all is not lost! My roommate and I are planning a guerrilla revisit to the site in the next few days, and hope to restore the original to its rightful place, so that the building’s boisterous spirits will lie at rest when the Big Crash comes. If you would like to help in bringing about this once-in-a-lifetime testament to the (adolescent) human spirit, your cash gifts can be sent to this blog.

Workin’ on my Memphis blues

Signs2
I
was sitting in a tiny coffee house on the corner of Poplar and Perkins Extended in Memphis when the drugs failed to kick in.

Second cup, no buzz yet, although my leg is jiggling a bit. This High Point Coffee just doesn’t have something that Starbucks has. (As Mike Myers would say in a thick brogue, "an addictive chemical that makes you crrrave it fortnightly," or in my case, daily.)

But the shop itself has something Starbucks does not have — free broadband wireless. Nice little joint. Friendly. I’ve been here three times, and I’ve seen one of the guys who was in here earlier all three times. In fact, I’ve heard him tell people at nearby tables about his recent trip to Jekyll Island three times as well. That’s OK; I’ve tuned him out after the first time — when he answered someone who asked whether that was in the Outer Banks by saying, "well, maybe, I think I heard somebody refer to it as that," at which point I had to butt in and tell them where the Outer Banks were.

Second time, I got into a discussion with a guy named Roosevelt who works at FedEx (you know, like Tom Hanks in "Castaway;" Hollywood thinks everybody in Memphis works for ol’ Fred), vacations at Myrtle Beach, and is orginally from Cherry Point. We talked about our kids and college. He is also a blues musician on the side (the other thing Hollywood thinks everybody in Memphis does, and not without cause). He promised to visit the blog, so if you’re there, Hi. Don’t forget to leave a comment.

It’s been very, very hot here all week, although we did get a slight break last night. I think it touched three digits the one day I played golf. We had a good time, even though I just barely stayed in two digits, so never mind the score. I’ve got my racket, but no tennis. Living in Columbia, I sort of snorted when I got here and they complained about how hot it’s been. I’m not snorting now.

Speaking of hot, the local and state primaries were Thursday, and … I just caught one of those phrases that puts me off track; some girl over at another table just said, …"that’s 2 a.m. in Ireland…" Sometimes life, for those of us with ADD, is like one of those avant-garde recordings such as Revolution No. 9, with snatches of conversation coming from God knows where that make no sense out of context. I looked up to see who was speaking, and there are these two similar-looking girls (from this angle, anyway — sisters, perhaps) over against the window. Walking past them, outside, inexplicably walking the wrong way up the drive-through lane, is a beautiful young woman with short black hair, wearing shades, looks like a model, turning right to look directly at me, although I know all she sees is the bright-sun reflection of Poplar Avenue. She’s just there for a second when she disappears around the corner. Approaching the door is a largish guy in a Nirvana T-shirt, curly, thinning hair freshly slept-in at 2 p.m., carrying a stack of pamphlets or newsletters. He dutifully deposits them on the counter (Memflix, a six-page movie review sheet, mostly writtenMemflix by one Jesse W. Morrison), then steps over to the two girls talking about Ireland. And they all leave. Everybody here seems to know each other, but the folks behind the counter don’t know the Memflix guy. They’ve noticed the flyers before, but didn’t know where they came from. We briefly discuss movies. I’m the only customer now. I get another cup so I can keep blogging. The Memflix guy just reappeared, walking the same path as the model, slurping on a smoothie and carrying a placard of some kind in his other hand, and also disappears around the corner.

Oh, yeah… Thursday they had the biggest ballot in history here in Memphis. Some places in the state, it was the first time with electronic machines, and there were delays. Right here in East Memphis, my sister-in-law-in-law (my wife’s brother’s wife) took two-and-a-half hours to vote. Of course, at the school where she voted, some genius had decided to hold registration the same day. A madhouse.

Results? Well, Harold Ford’s kid won the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate. I understand he’s made a pretty good name for himself in Washington, much more of a reasonable moderate sort of guy than you would expect a Ford to be. I don’t know him, but I knew his Daddy, long ago. At a dinner one night in 1978 with him, Jim Sasser and Jake Butcher, I learned a lot about how the Ford machine works. Harold had been to the dentist that afternoon, and the painkillers with the couple of drinks he had made his tongue pretty loose, and he was very eager to persuade Butcher he was going to deliver Memphis to him — the 9th District part, anyway. Sasser and Butcher were nervous and tried to shush him in my presence, but he waved it off, and said, "This is off the record, right?" I shrugged noncomittally and said, "I’m just eating here." I was traveling with the Butcher campaign, and I had to eat somewhere. It was all very interesting, but not incriminating. I don’t think I could have provided any testimony that would have kept him from beating that federal rap later.

Steve Cohen, a name it seems I’ve heard forever (his Daddy, as I recall, used to run the state mental hospital at Bolivar) picked up the Democratic nomination for young Harold’s seat. That was a nasty, multiple-candidate race that under South Carolina rules would have meant a runoff. There were accusations of anti-Semitic tactics used against Cohen a la Max Heller. But Cohen made it through, and is now the first white Democratic nominee for this seat in 32 years. Harold pere won the seat from my father-in-law’s former business partner, Republican Dan Kuykendall, in 1974. I remember hearing him speak over at Memphis State when my wife and I were students there, and being impressed — more impressed than I would later be by his performance.

See how Tennessee is just as pervaded by interlocking personal relationships as South Carolina (where our favorite question to ask candidates is, "Who’s your Daddy?" — a question to which we already knew the answer with two of the four GOP candidates for state Treasurer this year, and one Gov Lite candidate)? I would tell you about the Republican candidates for the Senate and congressional seats, but I don’t know their Daddys, so what could I tell you by S.C. standards?

That 1978 dinner with the nervous politicos took place at the Pete & Sam’s out by the airport, which is long gone now. (Butcher paid, which ticked me off, and I had to grab one of his aides’ arms and force a bill into his hand to reimburse him. I definitely didn’t want to be indebted to that schmoe, even if free meals hadn’t been against my paper’s rules.)

PetesamsThe original Pete & Sam’s is still there on Park, by the way, thank God. The highlight of my week was a family dinner there Monday night. It’s the realest Italian restaurant in the world. Unlike the ill-fated airport location, and another failed effort way out East, this one still doesn’t have liquor by the drink. You can order beer, but you have to bring your own wine or whatever. Fortunately, one of my brothers-in-law is a rep for a distributor, so we never go lacking in that department.

I even got Mr. Sam (Pete passed away long ago, I believe) to pose at the register in front of some of his signed celebrity photos (everybody from Elvis to Ed McMahon). See below. He also posed with my father-in-law, whom he has long known and always speaks to with great respect and solicitude. His wife visited our table, too. It’s that kind of joint — dark, homey, with a to-hell-with-decor atmosphere. Not exactly the sort of place you’d see in "Goodfellas" — more like the kind of place that the more-honest relatives of the wise guys would choose to eat at. Extremely real. Tourists can talk about the Rendezvous or Corky’s, and they’re very fine, but I’ll take Pete & Sam’s as my first choice whenever I’m in Memphis.

My father-in-law paid this time, and I had no objections.

Mrsam

Bad Blood, Part II

Well, it happened again. I went to give blood at the Red Cross — as promised in a previous post — and they wouldn’t take it.

I walked in, signed the register, and the lady at the desk gave me a cool hat. Then she said they’d been waiting for me, and handed me the binder full of stuff you have to read before you give.

And there, on the first page, I saw that if you’re taking antibiotics, you can’t give.

I said well, I’m taking an antibiotic, but it’s no big deal. I’ve just had this sinus headache for years, and it got worse in recent months, and they took a CT scan a couple of weeks ago, and decided it was a sinus infection. So they told me to take these expensive (my co-pay was $148) pills for a month.

I haven’t had fever; I haven’t been sick. I don’t think I’m contagious. But I couldn’t give anyway.

They let me keep the hat, though. They said it didn’t matter, because "your editorials" caused hundreds of extra people to give blood over the last couple of days. Well, I’m pretty sure that it would have been the news story
that ran the same day, because that was much more prominent. But in any case, the effect seems to have been dramatic. In a period in which 40 people would normally give at the Columbia Red Cross facility on Bull Street, they had had 200.

I hesitated to mention that, because I don’t want people thinking, "Well, then, I don’t have to give then." No, they need people to keep giving at that rate. This rate was just enough that in another day or so, they expected to no longer have to ration certain types. And blood only lasts 40 days or so; they have to keep getting more.

To schedule your appointment, call 1-800-GIVELIFE, or do it online.

Anyway, they said I could give as soon as I quit taking the antibiotic. I will.

Good thing I’m not blogging today

Here are some of the items I would have posted yesterday had I been blogging. Which I’m not. ‘Cause I’m on vacation. Anyway:

  • We wanted to get an early start since we were heading all the way back to S.C., but while my wife was downstairs getting the free breakfast I decided to check my investments. My portfolio consists — that is, consisted — of about $1,300 worth of Knight Ridder stock. I’ve written of this brilliant move on my part before. Anyway, we ended up being delayed about half an hour, because I discovered that, instead of having been converted to cash in the sale of the company earlier this week, my investment had simply … disappeared. I had about $67 left in my e-trade account. First I got an Indian guy on the phone (he didn’t tell me his name, but if I had asked, he probably would have said it was "Steve"), who passed me to somebody else, who said I needed to talk to a "professional," who said I needed to talk to another "professional." I think the last guy I talked to said something — money, negotiable securities, something — should show up in my account in the next couple of days. I shrugged, and we got on the road. By the way, if you need investment advice, my services are available for a fee.
  • Before putting away the laptop, though, I checked to see if there was anyplace good to stop on the way for coffee. There was a Starbucks in Fredericksburg, a couple of hours out. (I have confessed in the past about my hateful Starbucks jones, which makes at least one of my coffee-drinking children ashamed of me.) It was at a place called "Central Park." I decided I could wait that long. You couldn’t miss Central Park, but it was very, very easy to miss something located within Central Park. I remember Alan Kahn talking about places where they had something like what he had in mind for the Village at Sandhill. This had to be one of them (I’m not in a position to check archives at the moment). This place was like the Village at Sandhill multiplied by Harbison to the power of the Mall of America — street after street of shops, strips and big boxes. The general layout was like Broadway at the Beach — winding lanes and such — but it went on and on and on. You know how terrorists dream of 72 virgins? This is what Burroughs and Chapin dream about. Only blind luck enabled me to find Starbucks in all that. I did stop and ask directions. Guess where? Where would be the last place in the world where you would be likely to find people who knew the way to a trendy-yuppie place like Starbucks? That’s right. Wal-Mart. I first asked the greeter, and when she looked up and had only one tooth in her head, my heart sank. I asked another employee, and she gave me very confident directions, but they were entirely wrong. Fortunately, I ran into it while on the way to the place she had pointed out. If was only a couple of hundred yards from Wal-Mart.
  • I stopped by the battlefield in Petersburg, because one of my great-great grandfathers had died there. I called my uncle from the visitors center to get him to remind me what unit he was with. He couldn’t remember, and my cousin who’s the genealogist was off someplace. But he did tell me that we had determined that great-great grandad had not died at Petersburg,Crater_1 but at a place called "Kingsburg." The ranger in the visitor’s center had never heard of it. So we went off to have a look at the Crater before getting back on the road.
  • The Crater was disappointing. I expected something about half a mile across. This wasn’t big enough to be a cellar for a small house. Ol’ Henry Pleasants didn’t use as much dynamite as Butch Cassidy, I suppose. Anyway, it was a glorious victory for South Carolinians, as the plaque I photographed (and will post when I get back to the house) attests. But it was a godawful mess. Forgive my levity. I kept saying to my wife as we drove through, looking for stop number 8, "Here we go, just breezing by, and all those men poured out their lifeblood atScplaque_1 every one of these stops." I am capable of being sober at times.
  • OK, this one’s weird. Anybody ever read The Guns of the South by Harry Turtledove? If you haven’t, I’m not going to describe it to you, because it will lower your opinion of my reading tastes. But it’s really a lot better than it sounds. Anyway, it’s an alternative history novel, in which the South wins the war. Instead of being the famous man who created the Crater at Petersburg, Henry Pleasants appears in it as a POW released by the Confederacy after the war, who decides to settle in Nash County, NC. His Crater idea does occur to him in the novel, but within a completely different context. Anyway, Lt. Col. Pleasants was captured at the battle of Bealeton. Not familiar with that one? That’s because it only happened in the novel, after the course of history changed from what we know. But this novel, which I’ve read more than once, kept screwing up my sense of real history as I drove through Virginia and N.C. As we drove by the exit to Bealeton, I started to tell my wife, in a professorial tone, how this was the place where … and caught myself just in time, realizing that it never actually happened. Then I saw the Crater made by the real Col. Pleasants. Then we’re driving through N.C., and we enter Nash County. Then we pass by the exit for Nashville, where Nate Caudell lived. If I had seen a sign to Rivington, I really would have freaked out. You have to have read the book to understand that last one.
  • How come, when you’re looking for the junction between one Interstate and another, they don’t give you a little warning so you can be on the lookout for it? Paranoid about missing my turn, I kept looking obsessively at all the signs for about 50 miles. I wanted to get off 95 and onto 40 to Wilmington. You know when the gummint finally deigned to put up a sign telling me it was coming? Two miles away. If I had been in one of those semiconscious zones you get into while driving for just two minutes, I could have missed it. I didn’t, but still. Don’t you think they should tell a guy a little earlier.
  • I am never going to Wilmington again for the rest of my life. All we wanted to do was turn onto 17 and head down to the Strand. Easy, right? Not around there. I turned off looking for the waterfront areas where there might be a nice seafood place. We found nothing, and then could not get back onto 17. Really. I have a great sense of direction, if nothing else, but it was useless in that place. We were lost for an hour. Once I found the bloody bridge, though, it was easy. I was so glad to get out of North Carolina, and back home. So was my wife, and she’s actually from Tennessee.
  • They don’t even know how to have a beach town up there in N.C. The place was totally dead, and just looked like any other Southern town. As soon as we crossed the line, we were greeted by a fireworks place, then restaurants, tacky tourist traps, all sorts of crazy, bustling traffic and an Eagles or Wings on every block. People deride the Redneck Riviera, but it’s the Beach to me, and felt as homey and welcoming as my blue recliner at home. If only I had packed those ratty old slippers of mine.

Well, that’s enough. Like I said, good thing I’m not blogging today.

Post-diluvean

Flood_road
C
apital A
mentions that he was headed for New York for "vacation."

We had thought about heading up to NYC for a day, or maybe Washington, or maybe catch a ball game in Baltimore — the Orioles were scheduled to be at home Tues, Wed and Thurs, and I’d never been to Camden Yards.

But we were sick of all that Yankee rain, and there were warnings of floods — in fact, we drove through some pretty heavily flooded country roads night before last in Pa. — and thought we’d get out of that part of the country, seeing as how we didn’t have a head start on an Ark. Some of the Amish folk might have let us on board theirs, but we didn’t want to take the chance.

So we drove back home to the Grand Strand. This morning, my wife walks down to the pier and gets three papers. A different flooded place in Pennsylvania was on the front of each of them.

I think we made the right call. Even LexWolf should be able to agree on that.

Flood_vans

Signing off with vacation photos

Thorpe_hall
T
his morning I’m checking out of the last place where I expect to be for a couple of days that has a broadband connection, so I’m going to act a little more like a guy on vacation. This could be my last post for a day or two. At the same time, I could find myself in a coffee shop with free wi-fi and get inspired. Who knows?

I’ll close with these images that I took Monday at Carlisle Barracks, home of the U.S. Army WarThorpe_plaque College, and former home of the Indian school where Jim Thorpe launched his unparalleled athletic career. I managed to find the gym named for him — still being used by the Army’s up-and-coming officers. After searching the grounds for his statue, I discovered that they had moved it inside the gym. Now you know about as much about it as I do.

Have a good week. You’ll hear from me when you hear from me.

Thorpe_statue

OK, I’m smoking now…

I suppose Kathleen would call me a Nazi or something for even bringing this up, but …

What do you regard as an appropriately cruel and unusual punishment for somebody who saturates a non-smoking hotel room with cigarette residue?

I checked into this room with the standard international nicht rauchen sign on the door, and when I opened the door, the room hit me with a reek that made me think I might be better off going down to sleep in the bar.

Mind you, this is not an esthetic thing to me. I’m very allergic to the stuff, and in fact am at this moment in the middle of a second course of prednisone to treat sinus inflammation that’s been killing me for the past couple of months.

The lady at the desk was very nice, but there wasn’t another room available tonight that met our needs. They promise to switch us ASAP tomorrow. Meanwhile, I went down to the car to get my breathing machine so I wouldn’t have to fetch it at 3 a.m., just in case. Meanwhile, I’m thinking positive thoughts.

Never mind about me, though. I’ll be fine, I think. But don’t you think whoever last occupied this room should at least have his credit card billed double or something?

Thoughts?

So you want to be a wonk star?

I do have a couple of substantive things I want to say about the couple of hours I spent over at the Legislature yesterday, but I’ve been really busy since then, and I’ve got to go to a work-related dinner now. So while a colleague who won’t be here tomorrow reads the early draft of my Sunday column, I’ll just share this:

If you want to feel like a celebrity without all that hard work and talent that, say, James Brown put into it, spend an hour commenting on election night on public television, and then walk the lobby of a legislative body the next day.

That’s the one place where you’re likely to find the highest possible concentration of people who will have watched you and dug what you were trying to say. (Don’t try this at the mall, for instance.)

As you mill through the crowd, you get various versions of "Saw you last night, you did good." Which is all celebrity-types really need for satisfaction.

But some people actually noted things I had said. That’s like — in a way; a very limited way — being John Lennon and having people quote your lyrics to you (which in his case was particularly helpful, because he couldn’t remember them himself).

OK, I admit it. I just wrote this for the headline.