Apparently, Elvis isn’t the only legendary rocker who is still with years after his reported death. In catching up on papers I missed while out of town, I find this story.
It may be true that "All Things Must Pass," but doesn’t
Carlton "Baseline Jesus" Thompson look an awful lot like someone else we once knew, circa 1971?
Why didn’t Barack Obama put it away last night? Well, you can look to all sorts of causes — he had been too far behind in Ohio and Texas to do more than almost catch Hillary Clinton; some of her criticism of his supposed lack of experience had had an effect in recent days; he was on a streak of unfavorable news that outweighed his streak of wins, etc.
But here’s an alternative theory: On the very day of the vote, the chairwoman of the S.C. Democratic Party endorsed him. Here’s what Carol Fowler said in a release from the campaign:
“South Carolina Democrats have told me repeatedly that their greatest concern is that we nominate a candidate who can win in November, and who will help us build the Democratic Party across our state. I have observed the presidential campaigns for more than a year, and there is no doubt in my mind that the Obama campaign has what it takes to bring us a Democratic president. Senator Obama and his team have already made significant organizational contributions to the SC Democratic Party, and I expect their good work to continue through the fall campaign and into his administration.
“Senator Obama has proven, through a lifetime of advocating for middle class families and workers, his unique ability to create change that matters in the lives of Americans. He has proven his ability to win in the so-called "red states" like this one, and has brought countless new voters into the process. The people of South Carolina chose change by a decisive margin on January 26th, and I’m proud to stand with voters across the country who have backed Barack Obama to win in November and to lead our country in a new direction.”
Maybe the Democrats in Ohio, unlike the Democrats in S.C., didn’t care to "nominate a candidate who can win in November." Or maybe, just maybe, it was… dare we say it … the Chicken Curse? Did a gratuitous, out-of-nowhere, five-weeks-plus-after-the-fact endorsement from a party chair from the home of the Gamecocks just have way too much bad mojo riding on it for Obama or anyone else to overcome?
The Curse has, of course, been more or less proven to have effects beyond the football field upon people or endeavors with incidental Gamecock connections — including in the realm of presidential politics. Most experts point with great confidence to the moment when Gary Hart’s chances turned to dust — it was when he decided to engage in monkey business with a former USC cheerleader.
There are those — strict constructionists, I suppose you might call them — who maintain that the curse is limited in its scope, that the cursed must have a brush with someone who has had direct contact with USC athletics, or (and these would be your hyperfundamentalists) just with the football program.
But these things are little understood by science. I think there’s more to it. If the effects can extend beyond athletics, might not the cause as well? Maybe you can get it just from association with anyone who has ever taught at USC, or driven through the campus. Or bet on a cockfight — and in South Carolina, that broadens the field considerably.
In any case, it’s not to be fooled with.
This morning on NPR, Jimmy Breslin was talking about his new book, The Good Rat. It was, of course, an interview replete with his raspy assertions that he knew what the real mob was all about, and that stuff in the movies is a lot of hooey.
Yeah, I know Breslin knows more about the mob than I do, but as an enthusiast of mob flicks, I find his attitude kind of irritating. Sure I know "The Godfather" wasn’t for real — it was less about the Mafia and more a sort of grand American morality play centering around the questions of which is right and good: a society built on laws or one on personal relationships between men. Sure, I know that The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight was probably closer to the truth, but it’s a parody, and I suspect "Mean Streets" is even closer. And "Goodfellas" closer than that.
What about "The Sopranos?" the interviewer asked. He copped a plea: "I was working doing columns on… Sunday nights. I never saw it."
Never saw it? Come ahhhn! Who, in the 21st century, is dependent on watching something when the network (is HBO technically a network? maybe not) shows it? It’s better on DVD. I, who didn’t have HBO anyway, am currently in the middle of the fourth season. Somehow, you get the idea that Mr. Breslin is so Old School, he doesn’t own a DVD player, and still lives life in real time.
But I think he’d like it if he watched it. Don’t you?
Anyway, he did admit that DeNiro is really good at playing a wise guy, so that’s something.
The other day I said something about memories of someone doing impressions of William F. Buckley, and that I thought it was David Frye. As is usually the case with such unimportant matters, I was right (note that I make no such claims to total recall on matters of any significance).
This was back in the 60s, and when I think back to my first awareness of Mr. Buckley and who he was, I see rubber-faced Frye impersonating him before the real man comes clearly into memory’s focus. I suspect that, young as I was, I may have seen the mimic before I ever did the genuine article — or at least, more often.
Either that, or it’s like Dana Carvey and George H.W. I used to entertain friends with Bush impersonations in the early ’90s (I must have done it too much, because I was once asked to do it while speaking to the Sumter Rotary), but they were really Carvey impersonations. The mimic exaggerates in ways that enable the less talented to get a tentative grip on the impression.
Anyway, since I ran across the video, I thought I’d share it. But you know what I’d really like to find? A skit Frye did on the Smothers Brothers’ show in 1968 — a spoof of the 68 elections done on the outlines of "The Sword in the Stone." Frye did all the characters, as I recall. I’d love to see that again. I’d be indebted to anyone who helped turn it up.
Tuesdays are turning out to be especially fine in the year of our Lord 2008.
Another excellent result tonight, with these two headlines topping the WashPost‘s Web site:
I’ve been following politics professionally for more than three decades, and I’ve never seen go as well as they have this year, as my greatly preferred candidates in the Republican and Democratic contests both move from success to success.
I hope I’m not jinxing anything with all this joy, but I can’t help it. I’ve never had the chance to enjoy a presidential election like this in my adult life, and may never get it again, so I’m not going to play it cool by making this world a little colder (doesn’t quite work, does it, except in the song; logically, it should be "makes the world a little bit colder by playing it cool" — oh, well; just enjoy it).
Even Mike Huckabee, a candidate I sorta like also, is playing his part by making this McCain victory worth reporting. Those wins he had over the weekend help to make tonight more enjoyable. And the closer we come to Obama passing and beating Hillary — and he’s got the Mo now — the closer we come to that no-lose situation I’ve been hoping for, which goes like this:
Either way, I get my way, but far, far more importantly, the nation is better served than it has been in many an election.
Anyway you look at it, Paul Simon’s gonna have to change the words to HIS song.
The only thing that can spoil all this is if Hillary Clinton manages to pull this thing out. That looks less and less likely, although at the same time I don’t EVER expect to see her bow out. She wants it too badly; the good of her party is nothing against that.
But that, you see, produces another wonderful result, because both of the following happen:
Readers may have noticed that I take an interest in which of my videos seem to be most popular — more of an interest than readers themselves take, judging by the few comments on my Top Five Videos posts. Fine. But maybe you’ll find this interesting.
It just occurred to me to compare videos posted at roughly the same time featuring competing presidential candidates. The results are interesting — OK, they’re interesting to me. But I’m going to share them anyway. If you’d like to look at the raw data to draw your own conclusions, my videos are listed chronologically, with the most recent first, at this link. For the most popular, with the most-watched first, click here. But here’s what I’ve noticed glancing over them just now:
That’s all for now.
Total trivia from blogs past, but it has at least symbolic meaning. Never mind why I was looking at such an old post (another one of those things where TypePad told me it was getting fresh hits, and I couldn’t figure why), but in skimming through the comments on "W is Gilligan; Al is Mr. Howell," I ran across bud’s proposed "Gilligan’s Island" cast:
Gilligan – George W. Bush
Skipper – Dick Cheney (or Karl Rove)
Mr. Howell – George H. W. Bush (or John Kerry)
Mrs. Howell – Barbara Bush (or Teresa Kerry)
Ginger – Condi Rice
Mary Anne – Hillary Clinton
Professor – Al Gore
Most of those are pretty much on-point (as long as we think of a Brian Dennehy sort of dark, menacing Skipper, rather than the Alan Hale version), except for the two unattached females on the island. Condi as Ginger? I don’t think so. Condi’s more of a female version of the Professor.
But the one that still gets me the most is Hillary as sweet, unassuming little Mary Ann? I’m just not seeing that.
bud, or anyone — care to update that cast?
This blog post takes place between 11 p.m. and midnight on the day of the California primary…
…And even though I haven’t shot anybody or been wounded even once myself today, I’m starting to feel a little tired. So you can imagine how Jack Bauer feels.
Anyway, while we wait to see whether Sen. Palmer — I mean, Sen. Obama — wins the Democratic primary way out yonder where even time itself is distorted, I’m thinking on popular culture again. By a coincidence, both Warren Bolton and I saw "3:10 to Yuma" over the weekend, which I felt gave me all the excuse I needed to talk about that in our last two days’ morning meetings, instead of the state budget and stuff like that that Cindi likes to talk about.
Good cowboy flick, despite the violence being somewhat over-stylized in the modern mode. Two points stuck out:
In short, not a bad shoot-em-up. Now, back to the primaries…
This blog post takes place between 11 a.m. and noon on the day of the California primary.
Is anyone besides me flashing on that intro (OK, so I paraphrased) from every episode in the first season of "24" today? Probably not. It’s probably just because I only saw that season recently. Not being a tube watcher, I had never seen it until I rented it a couple of months back.
Of course, I’m not going to bring it up without some editorial observations:
Now you see why I blog. I just barely scratched the surface of things I wanted to say about a TV series that I don’t really think is all that interesting. Imagine what I could write about "House." Or "The Sopranos." My advice: Don’t get me started.
A colleague brought this excellent music video set to the words of a Barack Obama speech. I don’t know where this speech was made, but it has a lot in common with his victory speech right here in S.C.
Great words. Now, as to the esthetics… artistically, this one beats the "Obama Girl" all hollow. Sure, that one had much to recommend it, by traditional MTV standards. But unless I’m mistaken, this new one has Scarlet Johansson, who’s way more Babelicious than that other chick (OK, at least SOMEWHAT more so). And I’d like to see the Obama girl try to beat Kareem Abdul-Jabbar under the boards!
Now that the GOP nomination has come down to a simple, pedestrian question of whether Mitt Romney can
spend enough on California TV ads to raise his chance of getting the nomination above snowball-in-hell status (I picture Ritchie Rich just shoveling the cash out of his swimming-pool full — or am I thinking of Scrooge McDuck?), all true, plainspoken, vicariously macho men find themselves wondering the following:
"We’re handcuffed," moans Dick Harpootlian about his role in "truth-squadding" Bill Clinton’s whoppers about Obama.
"I’m ready to rip ’em a new one," he says, but the Obama campaign is holding him back. But entirely, though, this being Dick.
"I’ve dubbed the Clinton campaign the ‘Eddie Haskell Campaign,’ for claiming to want to run a clean campaign, then trashing Obama in the next breath. It’s like they’re saying, "Nice dress, Mrs. Cleaver," and as soon as she leaves the room, "Hey, Beav, your Mom looks like s__t." He says the strategy clearly is to turn voters off enough to suppress turnout.
So how, exactly, is Dick being restrained? "No one’s talked about 8 years in the White House," he says. OK, Dick, so what about their 8 years in the White House?
Dick says he can’t say. Apparently, if he does, Mom and Dad will give him the business.
On a personal note, let me add that today is Dick’s birthday, and he’s 59. I guess that’s why he’s expected to act all grown up and stuff now. This has him saying unDicklike things such as, "I really, really, really was shocked at the tactics they’ve employed in recent weeks."
Next thing ya know, he’ll be referring to Lumpy as "Clarence."
Chris Roberts no longer works for this newspaper, but every year on this day, that former colleague somehow gets through the crack security of our isolated campus, and the motion detectors protecting my sanctum sanctorum itself, and leaves a jelly donut on my desk.
So it is that I never forget Elvis Presley’s birthday — which, as I’m sure you know, is today.
Yes, folks, it’s time to take a breather from our earthly striving and try to get in touch with our essential Elvisness.
We’ve all heard about John Edwards’ tycoon-priced haircuts. But no one would ever think Mike Huckabee would make such a big deal about getting his ears lowered. With his regular-guy persona,
you sort of picture him sitting, unnoticed, reading dog-eared copies of "Field and Stream" while he humbly waits his turn to sit in Floyd’s chair.
Who’da thunk we’d ever see Huck holding court like a king as he is shorn and shaved, like Robert DeNiro in Brian DePalma’s "The Untouchables?" (These photos were taken at the Executive Forum Barbershop — how’s that for a Ritzy-sounding name — in Des Moines, Iowa, on Dec. 31.)
You remember that scene, early in the film (sorry, I’ve tried to find a clip on the Web without success, and I don’t know how to get it off my DVD, but I did find this photo). It was meant to show Capone as the master of Chicago — the barber coming to him in his hotel room, and the Boss holding court with a fawning press that chuckles at his thuggish witticisms. It was a scene meant to show Capone as being everything Mike Huckabee is not supposed to be.
So I thought these pictures moved by The Associated Press a bit incongruous. Maybe they should just go back to moving snaps of the (New) Man from Hope grinning with his Fender bass.
But given his success in Iowa, paired with the press’ guilt over having neglected the man heretofore, I guess we’ll have to get used this this sort of wall-to-wall coverage of every instant of the candidate’s daily life. I just hope I’m looking somewhere else when they move the pictures of him holding court in the bathtub.
Mike Huckabee, with that friendly Everyman face of his, seems to remind everybody of somebody. In a column coming up Sunday, George Will compares him to Richard Nixon — which I can sort of see, although I’ll warn you that Mr. Will doesn’t mean it in a nice way (but you sort of knew that, right?).
I’ll tell you who he reminds me of — so much so that, when I was flipping channels the other day on the off chance that there’d be something worth watching before popping in the DVD (there wasn’t), I saw this guy and stopped, thinking for a second that it was Gov. Huckabee.
But then I realized it wasn’t. It was another guy, pretending that he already was the president. I did a little research to get specifics.
It was Gregory Itzin, who portrays "President Charles Logan" on "24." Check out his picture, and imagine Mr. Huckabee frowning, rather than wearing his seemingly perpetual smile. See the resemblance? Maybe it’s just me, but I thought it was a little spooky.
By the way, here’s a fun fact to know and tell: At this moment, there are about 210 pictures of Huck on 
the Associated Press wire. And in almost every single one of them, he’s captured with a friendly grin. I just thought I’d tell you that, in case you doubted that Gov. Huckabee is this year’s Jimmy Carter. Remember in 1976, when, if you went by what was printed, you’d think the man was always grinning?
And no, it’s not a conspiracy. The thing is, that’s just the way everybody thinks of this guy who has just fully burst onto the national consciousness. So far, his image
is one-dimensional. Photographers think, "This is the guy who grins," so they go through their exposures looking for the grinning shots, so they will look like him, and that’s what their editors put on the wire, and that’s what newspaper editors use, because those are the ones that "look like" Huckabee.
It’s something you don’t even notice unless you do what I just did, which is deliberately look for a frowning shot. Here’s one of the few exceptions without the winning smile (below), and it still doesn’t quite meet my needs for the comparison to Mr. Itzin. But watch — if the Huckabee candidacy lasts a few weeks longer, we’ll start to see the image take on a fuller set of moods.
A letter on today’s page addressed an issue that we’re going to face more and more as today’s youth enter the job market:
Tattoos shouldn’t be taboo for troopers
I am writing this in response to W.N. Kennedy’s letter, “Lawmakers should hire more troopers,”
I agree 100 percent; however, some rules in the state trooper hiring regulations are outdated and therefore prohibit qualified individuals from obtaining a job.
Around May 2006, I sat down for an informal interview with a state trooper to see if I should pursue a career with the Highway Patrol. I was a summer semester away from obtaining my associate’s degree and had five years of service with the Marines under my belt.
The trooper liked what he saw; unfortunately, I have two inoffensive tattoos on my right forearm. And the rule for state troopers is that no tattoos will be showing while in uniform.
He and another trooper suggested that I just get the tattoos removed. However, they were unaware of the cost and process of getting them removed. I told them I was willing to wear long sleeves year round, but that was against regulations.
South Carolina really needs to get with the times. Tattoos are not taboo anymore. More and more people of all ages are getting them. If a person is qualified, tattoos should not be a factor in any hiring process. Tattoos do not inhibit a person’s ability to perform tasks and get his or her job done correctly.
KYLE OSTRANDER
Chapin
This reminds me of two things I noticed about the NYPD during the sweltering week I spent in the city
during the 2004 Republican Convention:
Sometimes, as with the officer depicted above and in the inset detail, they were decorated to the point that you noticed the tattoos more than the uniform. It was distracting until you got used to it. But I didn’t notice in impairing their ability to do their duty.
Oh, as a postscript I should probably point out that distracting images tend to multiply in our memories. While I know I saw more than one cop with tattoos that week, they were the exception. Looking back through all my images that week (and there are lots of cops in those pictures) most were not thus decorated where you could see it (and thereby probably less threatening to the older tourists):
Yesterday, Senators rejected the Fresh Act, which sought to reform the mad waste embodied in the Farm Bill currently up for consideration. They said the sensible approach, proposed by that wild-eyed radical Dick Lugar, "just moves too far, too fast." Those are the words of Senate Agriculture Committee Chairman Tom Harkin, D-Iowa.
OK, so you don’t like the alternative. So just don’t pass a farm bill, say I. If any true needs go begging as a result, we’ll address them as they come. In the meantime, we’ll say goodbye to such scenarios as the one that the WSJ mocked Tuesday in "Green Acres" terms:
The Environmental Working Group has a map of New York City making the rounds on the Internet that shows 562 dots, each representing a Manhattan resident who gets a USDA farm payment. Who knew that growing cotton, corn and soybeans was such a thriving industry near Central Park? We don’t know the incomes of these people, but it’s a fair guess they’re not homeless.
What we have here is a real-life version of the 1960s TV show "Green Acres," but in reverse. In the fictional series, Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor play a fancy couple who flee Manhattan to live down on the farm among the pigs and goats, while she pines for the glitter of Times Square. In the 2007 version, they flee the farm for Manhattan and get a subsidy check at their Park Avenue penthouse. What a deal.
Hooterville was an absurd nightmare for Oliver Wendell Douglas, who learned episode after episode that everyone saw madness as perfectly normal. So it is with Washington and farm bills.
Poor Zac over at Clinton HQ sent this out today, with timing that invites (probably intentionally, but set me straight on that if I’m wrong, Zac) comparison to the Double-O show yesterday:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
December 10, 2007Contact: Zac Wright
Dr. Maya Angelou Hits SC Airwaves for Hillary
‘My Girl’ Radio Spot Airs Statewide
(COLUMBIA) – Dr. Maya Angelou took her support of Hillary Clinton to the South Carolina airwaves as Clinton launched her fourth radio spot in the state, entitled “My Girl.” The 60-second spot began playing on radio stations across the state over the weekend.In the spot, Dr. Angelou describes her personal support of Hillary and focuses on Hillary’s experience as an advocate for families.
A complete transcript is included below. The radio ad can be heard online at: www.hillaryclinton.com/hq/southcarolina.
Maya Angelou: Hello South Carolina, this is Maya Angelou. Let me tell you about my girl… Hillary Clinton.
As a child, Hillary Clinton was taught that all God’s children are equal, so as a mother she understood that her child wasn’t safe unless all children were safe.
I know what kind of president Hillary Clinton will be because I know who she is. Hillary Clinton has always been a strong woman and a passionate protector of families. For 35 years, that’s exactly what she has been doing.
Each generation of African Americans stands on the shoulders of those who came before. Today, the challenges facing us threaten the dreams we have had for our children. We need a president with the experience and strength to meet those challenges.
I am inspired by Hillary Clinton’s commitment and courage… a daughter, a wife, a mother… my girl.I’m Hillary Clinton and I approve this message.
###
So, how does that match-up play out? Oprah vs. Maya? I think I’d choose the endorsement that Obama got, if I were running for the Democratic nomination.
On Thanksgiving, after the turkey, I accompanied my family — or the portion able to join us to visit my youngest up in Pennsylvania — to see "Fred Claus." (Vince Vaughan cracks me up, OK?) Anyway, we enjoyed it for the light entertainment it was.
The next day, we bopped up to NYC because my youngest had never been there. Yes, we visited the shopping capital of the world on the busiest shopping day of the year. We weren’t buying; looking was overwhelming enough. And it turns out that, while "Fred Claus" exposed certain problems with Santa’s toy production process, it failed to reflect the deep unrest among some of the elves — or at least, the elves we found on the sidewalk outside Macy’s. (Like an explorer drawn into the heart of darkness, I couldn’t resist leading the kids that way in awe and fascination, after we got off the New Jersey Transit train across the street at Penn Station.)
They were very angry — and unexpectedly tall, I found. Maybe they were Middle Earth elves, rather than the kind from the North Pole. In any case, they didn’t seem to have the ol’ Santa spirit.
In case you went shopping on Friday and think it was hectic, I share with you this video, which still doesn’t quite show what it was really like to be in that bedlam. As one of my daughters said looking over my shoulder at the portion of the video inside Macy’s (the part right after the angry elves), "You had to be there." A very different scene from during the parade the day before, but just about as crowded.
I really spoiled the hectic effect by throwing in some restful parts — the skaters at Rockefeller Center, for instance — because I’m a big believer in giving The Full Picture.
What’s with the preacher man lining up endorsements from all the tough guys? First Chuck Norris, and now it seems that Ric "The Nature Boy" Flair also ♥s Huckabee.
It just gets weirder all the time. A natural conservative Christian candidate like Huckabee watches as the
religious right lines up behind Romney, Giuliani and Thompson, and the guys who make a living making the OTHER guy turn the other cheek are going with the ex-clergyman.
I’m not going to be swayed by any of it — especially not by any grappler out of Charlotte. When it comes to professional wrestling and martial arts, I go the same way that I go on barbecue — Memphis style, all the way. Get back to me when Jerry "The King" Lawler (at right) and Kang Rhee make their endorsements.
