Very briefly, since I’m running late:

1. Google to Buy Motorola Mobility for $12.5 Billion (NYT) — Wow, they’re serious about taking on Apple, aren’t they?
2. Stocks Return to Pre-Downgrade Level After Rally (WSJ) — Market says “never mind.” Of course, the market was falling before the downgrade, so it’s not like we’re out of the woods.
3. Wal-Mart’s Pricing Halo Loses Luster (WSJ) — No wonder they were so eager to stop Amazon in SC…
4. Scores killed in attacks across Iraq (WashPost) — The terrorists continue to work hard to make sure we know they still exist. It was the deadliest day in the country this year.
5. Packing a treasure box for WWIII (WashPost) — This just looked like a good read. What would you put in the Doomsday Box?
6. 50 protest state’s decision to not seek $144 million from feds (thestate.com) — Which is really kinda pathetic. Why would they have this kind of thing on a Monday? And the first day of school?

Very quickly, here’s what we have:

1. U.S. Stocks Reverse Back, Up 4%, on Economic Data (NYT) — Way better than it could be.
2. UK unveils new measures on riots (BBC) — And they’d better work, Mr. Cameron.
3. Pelosi picks Clyburn for “supercommittee” (WashPost) — Not a huge deal, but I’ve been desperate for something (sort of) local this week.
4. Syrian troops ‘in fresh assaults’ (BBC) — More of the same. But we mustn’t become jaded. Twelve civilians were killed in Homs.
5. In A Twitter World, Do We Still Need Debates? (NPR) — Haven’t read it yet, but thought it sounded intriguing. Let me know what you think.
6. Mitt Romney says ‘corporations are people’ (WashPost) — And the people cried out, “No, they’re not!”… The “front-runner” has a rough time in front of an Iowa State Fair crowd.

Wish I had better stuff to tell you:

1. Stocks Slide 4.6%, End at 11-Month Low (WSJ) — To quote Billy Ray Valentine: So they’re panicking right now, they’re screaming “SELL! SELL!” to get out before the price keeps dropping. They’re panicking out there right now, I can feel it.
2. Is the House G.O.P. Warming to Tax Increases? (NYT) — Funny how things can change sometimes.
3. Riot fightback under way, says PM (BBC) — The most encouraging thing I saw on Twitter today was this, from @BritishMonarchy: “On 11 Aug 11:00: Changing the Guard at Buckingham Palacehttp://www.royal.gov.uk/G.” At least the Horse Guards aren’t afraid to get out on the streets. Apparently, it’s true: There’ll always be an England!
4. Syrian army ‘kills Homs citizens’ (BBC) — Just to remind you there are places where life is worse than here and in England.
5. Congress less popular than, well, so many things (WashPost) — I liked the lede: “Cloning sheep. Cloning humans, even. Caning teen vandals. Believing that aliens have descended from space and abducted humans. These are all things that, at one time or another, have enjoyed more public backing than Congress is getting right now.”
6. Pay TV industry loses record number of subscribers (AP) — To quote the immortal Jerry Ratts: “News is what happens to, or interests, an editor.”

Folks, it’s after 8 p.m. on Tuesday, and I haven’t had time to do the Virtual Front Page yet. Had to leave the office before I could get to it.

I’m calling it a day. I’d go ahead and do it now, but I’m at home alone with the dog and he’s downstairs freaking out over the thunder and rain outside, and it’s just too distracting.

There were only two things you really needed to know, though:

1. After Day of Tumult, Dow Closes Up 430 Points
2. UK police swell ranks to stem riots

Nothing local that is front-worthy so far.

That’s it. You’re up to date. Unless you care deeply who is on the debt panel.

Trying to keep this going. I mean, when you can’t rely on either our elected leaders or our vaunted private sector, there’s gotta be something you can depend upon, right? Our top stories at this hour:

1. Dow Slides 5.6%, Ending Below 11000 (WSJ) — You know that optimistic talk over the weekend about how maybe the markets would just ignore the downgrade? That didn’t happen. NPR at least had fun with the headline: “Markets Put The ‘Down’ In ‘Downgrade.'”
2. Obama speech doesn’t stop the slide (WashPost) — Actually, the BBC headlined its main story on the stocks rout that way: “Markets fall despite Obama speech.” What worries me at this point is whether anyone will listen to anyone — or are we just going to keep flailing our arms and screaming as we run off the cliff? Is that the plan?
3. Congress’s will withers with economy (WashPost) — And so it should. But this hurts us: “More bad news is instead likely to create more political hurdles for a Democratic administration and a split Congress to pass even modest legislation to aid employment and the economy.”
4. 3 Arab Countries Recall Ambassadors to Syria (NYT) — Wow, you’ve gotta be pretty oppressive to become a pariah for it among some of these guys.
5. More Than 200 Arrested In London Riots (NPR) — The PM had to come running home to deal with it. Or face it, anyway.
6. Mark Hatfield, last actual liberal Republican, dies (NYT) — OK, maybe I’m exaggerating with the “last liberal” thing, but I thought it might get your attention. I meant it symbolically. Maybe some of the Tea Party-type Republicans should study the Hatfield record before they accuse any of their contemporaries of being RINOs. Or maybe, just maybe, being a real Republican means you get to think for yourself on some issues? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Sorry, but I didn’t find any front-page news locally. Which is bad for the mix. Can’t imagine what The State will put on its front tomorrow — besides, you know, football pictures (stop that! bad boy! hush!). I see that Jon Huntsman is expected to say something about Boeing down in the Lowcountry, and there was a wreck near Finlay Park. None of it makes the front yet at this hour.

Bet you didn’t expect this! Well, actually, you probably didn’t expect anything, because I find that Friday afternoons tend to be a slow time for blog readership. Maybe y’all are going to the beach or something. Well, those of you who are doing something fun like that when you should be worrying about all the problems in the world should be ashamed of yourselves. Apathetic lot. Those of you who are reading this are the GOOD people, and you deserve a treat.

So here’s my first Virtual Front Page in a while:

1. World doesn’t suffer total financial collapse — yet (NYT, WSJ, others) — Here, I’m going to combine the news that the Dow was kind of a wild ride after yesterday’s precipitous fall, along with the jobless-rate reduction that helped prevent things getting worse. We’re certainly not out of the woods. Europe remains scary, despite what Berlusconi says. But folks, this is a really good time to look at the cover of your handy Hitchhiker’s Guide: DON’T PANIC!
2. Syria shows stark images of a crushed rebellion (NYT) — But the BBC and others report continuing protests, despite the government’s video evidence of the destruction it has wrought in Hama. And the protesters pay a steep price: 13 were reportedly shot dead today.
3. SC keeps AAA credit rating (bradwarthen.com) — Actually, there are other places where you can read about it, but they, too, seem to have been written based on the press release from Curtis Loftis. Let me know if you see any actual reporting on it anywhere.
4. Free health event overwhelmed with thousands in need (thestate.com) — And no, we don’t need to do anything about health care availability in this country, do we? Everybody say uhn-uhn, we don’t need no Obamacare, uhn, uhn…
5. Police guilty over Katrina deaths (BBC) — All five cops were convicted not of murder, but of violations regarding the cover-up.
6. Robots take over space exploration (NPR) — That’s not NPR’s headline, but it’s mine. Meanwhile, here’s some info on the Junocam.

Thursday already! Put-out-the-garbage night in my neighborhood. But first, some headlines:

1. Death Toll From Tornadoes Nears 300 (NYT) — We sort of dodged a bullet on that one in SC, although there were some twisters reported.
2. Shandon shooter was wearing homemade explosives (thestate.com) — Columbia still reeling from this. I spoke with a cop a little after lunchtime today who had still not been to sleep since this happened early yesterday.
3. Obama names Petraeus as CIA head (BBC) — Meanwhile, NPR says, “President Obama’s picks to head Defense and the CIA suggest continuity of policy.”
4. India Snubs U.S., Russia in Jet Deal (WSJ) — And after all that R&D we’ve invested over the last few decades. Guess the Indians thought the Eurofighter just looked cool.
5. GOP pivots on ‘birther’ questions, blames Obama for media attention (WashPost) — Wow. Wow. Actual quote from Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Preibus (with a name like that, I’d like to see HIS birth certificate): “It’s maddening and I just wish the president would engage in the real issues that are affecting America.” Really. And I see Sarah Palin’s been talking to Doug Ross, because SHE said, “Media: admit it, Trump forced the issue. Now, don’t let the WH distract you w/the birth crt from what Bernanke says today. Stay focused, eh?” Previously, she had called the birther nonissue “fair game.”
6. Prince greets fans before wedding (BBC) — It’s almost over! It’s almost over!

Man, I am still worn out from my Easter weekend — went to the beach. Hope yours was nice. Here are the headlines:

1. NATO Strikes Qaddafi Compound (NYT) — A lot of news outlets are leading with Syria right now, and they’ve got a point. But I’m going with the thing that we are actually, currently, materially involved in. Especially since this represents an escalation.
2. Syria Military Intensifies Crackdown (WSJ) — Things are coming to a head, and it’s ugly.
3. Hundreds escape from Afghan jail (BBC) — 470 escapees? Hilts would have said, “You’re crazy. And you’re crazy, too…” The Great Escape, Taliban-style.
4. Italy ‘to join attacks in Libya’ (BBC) — So if this turns into a World War, this time we’ve got Italy on our side…
5. GOP’s Barbour will not make 2012 run (WashPost) — Already told you about that. Closest thing I’ve got to a timely “local” story for the front today. Local in the sense of us having the first-in-the-South primary.
6. Fuel prices causing financial hardship (WashPost) — No doubt about it; I certainly feel it. I’m sure y’all do, too. The question is, are higher gas prices (still lower than in Europe) actually a bad thing in a big-picture sense?

I’m going to see if I can go ahead and get this out while I’m listening to Pub Politics:

1. NLRB tries to kill SC Boeing project (CRBJ) — First time in awhile a local story has been my lede.
2. France and Italy deploy to Libya (BBC) — More advisers on the ground. Meanwhile, the “White House notifies Congress that will send $25 million worth of ‘non-lethal’ military equipment to opposition, but resists joining Europe’s advisory team.”
3. Director of ‘Restrepo’ Killed in Libya (WSJ) — Tim Hetherington was accompanying a rebel patrol in the western city of Misrata.
4. Dow Jumps 1.5% to Highest Close Since June ’08 (WSJ) — Hey, I remember June ’08. I still had my job at the paper then… Meanwhile, Apple Profit Surges 95% as iPhone Sales Soar — probably because I just bought one.
5. School choice bill defeated by Senate panel (Greenville News) — The Education Committee spanked it, 10-6.
6. Baseball Takes Over Control of Dodgers (NYT) — I let sports on the page when it’s baseball.

Earlier today, Jennifer Preston of the NYT reported that “Mark Zuckerberg is wearing a tie.” But it didn’t quite make my front.

Here’s your Tuesday report:

1. Syrian state of emergency lifted (BBC) — After only 50 years. I think they decided that, in spite of all the recent unrest, the word had ceased to have meaning. Or something. Read the story…
2. U.K. to Send Military Advisers to Libya (WSJ) — If that were us, people would be hollering, “Another Vietnam!”
3. Dow Closes Up 65 Points (WSJ) — So traders sorta kinda got over the S&P scare yesterday…
4. First lady’s plane aborts landing due to error (WashPost) — A close call for Mrs. Obama and all aboard.
5. Restructuring bills advance (AP) — Senate Judiciary passes bills to allow referenda on whether the superintendent of education should be appointed rather than elected, and whether the governor and gov lite should be elected on the same ticket.
6. ‘Wikileaks’ suspect to be moved (BBC) — I predict Manning’s not going to like Leavenworth much more than where he’s been.

Well, the Pulitzers are out, and for the third year in a row, bradwarthen.com didn’t win anything. I know; it’s hard to understand. Sigh. OK, let’s get this week rolling so I can run home and get some dinner:

1. S.&P. Lowers Outlook for U.S., Sending Stocks Down (NYT) — OK, so I embarrassed myself today by tweeting that I still don’t understand hedge funds, causing my financial adviser to give me a call. But I do understand that THIS is not good. As Wonder Pet Ming-Ming would say, “This is sewious!“
2. U.S. Hurries to Sell GM Stake (WSJ) — I don’t know what’s coming over me playing up all this financial news, but I’ve been doing it a lot lately.
3. Nigerian president calls for calm (BBC) — But so far, he’s not getting what he wants.
4. Libya promises U.N. access to besieged city (WashPost) — It remains to be seen whether that promise will be kept.
5. Haley asks Tea Party supporters to back voter IDs at polls (thestate.com) — Michele Bachman also spoke to them. I understand that the Tea Party is celebrating its second birthday. There are all sorts of things I could say here about the typical behavior patterns of 2-year-olds, but I won’t…
6. Hallelujah! The King James Bible Turns 400 (NPR) — Betcha didn’t realize that. And even if you did, it’s still interesting. Over the weekend, I was trying hard to get my wife to be impressed by Twitter, and by the fact that my iPhone can read bar codes (her reaction: “Yeah, I can read all that stuff on the box.”) She did, however, allow as how the printing press DOES impress her. So this one’s for her.

Sorry I missed the news the other day that our governor filed her tax returns on time. That, of course, was HUGE. Talk about exceeding expectations. Now, it seems, the president is copying her….

At the end of the week:

What do we have today? I’ll go see what looks good:

1. Budget deal clears House on bipartisan vote (WashPost) — Whoopee. Now, on to the next partisan argument — on the same subject.
2. Nato ‘needs more planes’ in Libya (BBC) — Meanwhile, the U.S. resists a larger role. This is interesting, this new “hard-to-get” approach to global leadership. It could end up with us having just as many foreign military entanglements as during the Bush era. Only nobody gets ticked at us because we let France and Britain take the lead and beg us to go along, and we’re like, “Oh, all right, but just this one…”
3. Official in Charge of U.S. Air Traffic Control Resigns (NYT) — Now, finally, he can get a decent rest.
4. Providence Hospital cuts 35 jobs in cost-saving efforts (thestate.com) — George Zara says “It is clear that the existing structure and fundamentals of the nation’s health care system are not sustainable.” So who’s to blame? Obama? Haley? I look forward to learning more. I take this more seriously than Amazon’s headline-grabbing “hiring freeze.”
5. Soapocalypse: ABC Kills ‘Life,’ Abandons ‘Children’ (NPR) — Maybe this means something as social history goes. In any case, folks have really been buzzing about it on Twitter today. When Michael McKean said, “No spoiler alert necessary because all soaps have the same ending,” I responded by saying, “Yeah, 2 characters drink sherry and chat. For a week…”
6. Do Cellphones Cause Brain Cancer? (NYT) — No, the story doesn’t answer the question. But here’s another question: If they did, and we knew it, would we stop? (I’m not even sure I’d know about it if my iPhone didn’t tell me.)

Well, I didn’t give you much else today, but here’s a theoretical front page for you:

1. Obama Urges Cuts and Taxes on the Rich (NYT) — You know what? I’ll eliminate the ENTIRE deficit, and all you have to do is pay me one percent of the savings I find. Don’t thank me; I’d be happy to do it.
2. Mubarak Detained for Questioning (NYT) — First losing power. Then a heart attack. Now this.
3. U.S. Attempts To Reignite Israel-Palestinian Talks (NPR) — Meanwhile, on another important front.
4. Libya group urges Gaddafi to go (BBC) — Not sure what this means. Not sure what kind of cred this “contact group” has. Most significant seems to be their commitment to provide, or to continue providing, “material support” for rebels.
5. CIA’s post-9/11 brain drain (WashPost) — Thought this was an interesting take-note-of. Apparently, experienced officers have gone to work as consultants for companies wanting to do bidness with the intel community. Hey, as an experienced executive, maybe I should have done that when I got laid off. Oh, but wait: Nobody WANTS to do business with newspapers anymore. That’s why I got laid off. Almost forgot. My brain must be draining.
6. No new American Civil War, yet (various) — Since I didn’t really have anything local that was front-worthy, I thought I’d note the good no-news that the shots fired at Fort Sumter yesterday have so far not led to full-scale hostilities, this time. Yet. But the attitudes at our State House still bear watching.

A quick look at the headlines:

1. Japan raises alert to Chernobyl level (WashPost) — Whoa! THAT got my attention.
2. France and Britain Urge Stronger NATO Action in Libya (NYT) — I don’t know about you, but I’m picturing France and Britain just strutting up and down the globe with their chests puffed out and their hats pushed down over their foreheads and looking like the toughest kids on the block these days.
3. Commodities Take Down Stocks (WSJ) — Equities lose about a percent of value.
4. Haley signs on-the-record voting law (thestate.com) — Congrats to Nikki! Does this mean she’s FOR transparency today? No, seriously, I’m glad her signature issue has now passed. She will henceforth be judged by how she does on stuff she didn’t run on. Which is how governing works.
5. Sheheen says SC Gov Haley lied on job application (AP) — Speaking of transparency… Interesting timing Vincent chose for saying this — a bit late to help him win the election, though. Oh, and by the way, here’s an example of the gov’s SEMI-transparency on the Amazon issue, just to give you an example from smack in the middle of the spectrum. So take your pick which Haley you believe in.
6. Hosni Mubarak ‘has heart attack’ (BBC) — This is definitely not his year.

I might have put Obama’s upcoming speech on the budget on the front — except that it hasn’t actually happened yet. In fact, it doesn’t happen until tomorrow, even though everybody’s writing about it.

Let’s wrap this week up, shall we?

1. Parties stand firm as budget deadline nears (WashPost) — Is that what they call it? Standing firm? My wife doesn’t like it when I call people idiots, so I’m at a loss for anything to say. I mean, really — passing a budget is the one thing they’re supposed to get done each year, and they can’t ever even do that.
2. What to expect in a shutdown (WashPost) — I directed you to a similar story earlier, but this is from another source, and it’s timelier now.
3. Budget Showdown Redux (WSJ) — A brief recap, as a reminder for grownups, and as a “history” lesson for those who are so ridiculously young that they weren’t following when this happened only 16 years ago.
4. Syrian city hit by deadly clashes (BBC) — At least 23 demonstrators were killed.
5. Shooting attack on UK nuclear sub (BBC) — Shades of Hunt for Red October.
6. New York ‘at risk’ as seas rise (BBC) — An interesting take-note-of thing to know…

I was kind of heavy on BBC today, huh? Well, I didn’t have anything local. Maybe that’s because I saw John O’Connor and Trey Walker enjoying a long lunch at Yesterday’s (note product placement for my advertiser) today. They need to get off their duffs and make and cover some news. Why, in my day, we didn’t eat lunch, and we liked it!

Taking a look around the globe at this hour:

1. Japan rocked by new earthquake (BBC) — The seismic hits just keep on coming. Fortunately, there was no tsunami with this one, and damage was minimal. But unnerving.
2. No deal after latest White House budget talks (WashPost) — Want to know what I think? You don’t want to know what I think. But I’ll tell you anyway. As I said on Twitter this morning, “Oh, let them shut down the government; they really want to. We have to have this nonsense every decade or two. Helps get rid of bad blood.” And as I told you yesterday in this space, you know how all this ends, don’t you? With the re-election of the Democratic president. Just like the last time.
3. SC House kills funding for anti-immigration unit (thestate.com) — If you’ll recall, the last thing I had to say about this new unit was, “S.C. Border Patrol? Can anyone POSSIBLY think of anything more absurd for a state that can’t afford basic services?” Turns out we’re not going to fund it after all. Well, Hallelujah. Common sense triumphs for once.
4. House also passes Incandescent Light Bulb Freedom Act (AP) — OK, so I spoke too soon about the common sense thing.
5. Airmen Aid Effort To Avert Afghan Deaths (NPR) — I put this on the page because it’s interesting, of course, and important. But also because of the alliteration.
6. Libyan Rebels Say Airstrikes Killed 5 (NYT) — Thing is, we don’t HAVE forward air controllers on the ground in Libya.

Let’s see how fast I can do this (I know; I’ll leave out the facetious remarks!):

1. Portugal seeks bail-out from EU (BBC) — Another domino.
2. Ivory Coast: Gbagbo repels attack (BBC) — Today’s war news.
3. Shutdown would furlough 800K, officials say (WashPost) — A HUGE concern for that paper’s readership.
4. How A Government Shutdown Would Play Out (NPR) — In case you wondered, and don’t remember the mid-90s. SPOILER ALERT: It ends with the re-election of a Democratic president.
5. Haley leaves Amazon break up to lawmakers (bradwarthen.com) — You saw that already.
6. Netflix to Stream ‘Mad Men’ (WSJ) — Hey, it was big news to ME.

Here are the headlines (things seem to have calmed down slightly from the recent tidal surge of world news):

1. Guantanamo trial for 9/11 accused (BBC) — I don’t know what sort of defense Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has prepared, but about the only thing I’ll say in his favor is that he has grown a truly awesome beard while in captivity. He looks way better than when he was captured.
2. Police Kill Yemen Protesters (WSJ) — As the U.S. calls for leader to step down.
3. F.A.A. to Order Airlines to Inspect 737s for Cracks (NYT) — After that five-foot hole appeared in the roof of a Southwest Airline’s jet while in flight Friday.
4. Gen. Petraeus Being ‘Seriously Considered’ To Head CIA (NPR) — I’m sure he’d do a good job.
5. U.N. and France Strike Leader’s Forces in Ivory Coast (NYT) — So… have the UN and France been taking steroids, or what? What’s with all the aggression suddenly? They used to hate when WE did stuff like this…
6. Spartanburg woman recognized as SC mother of year (Associated Press) — Congratulations to Marianna Black Habisreutinger! (Apparently, having an easy-to-spell last name is not a prerequisite.)