Category Archives: Popular culture

Today’s meaningless coincidence: 3 Days of the Crowe

Things like this strike me, and then I forget them and move on, but it occurs to me that maybe if I start writing about them, perhaps some pattern will emerge that explains the way the universe works.

Or not.

Bottom line, meaningless coincidences interest me whether they do you or not, and here’s today’s. Or rather, today’s first…

Last night, I wasn’t quite ready to go to bed when I should have, and went rifling through my DVDs looking for something I could watch, but stop watching at any time. Something I hadn’t seen in awhile. Something that wouldn’t be too loud, since others had gone to bed I suppose I looked at and rejected two or three dozen titles before I hit on “Three Days of the Condor.” I don’t know what made me pick that — maybe it was that I had watched and enjoyed (except for that last episode) the first season of “Rubicon.”

Anyway, “Condor” is always enjoyable, even though it’s silly. Most paranoid, black-helicopter gummint conspiracy movies ARE silly. But this one is very earnest, which suits Robert Redford. As for the silliness: “Yeah, right — entire secret offices in New York get wiped out by guys with submachine guns SO often that the CIA has a set of procedures including a rapid-response team of janitors in an undercover van ready to run to the scene and mop up, like Batman rushing out from the Batcave.” Think about it, people. (The way something similar was handled on “Rubicon” was much more believable, much more improvised on a human scale.)

But it works because it’s fun to say, “Sure, nothing like this really happens, but it’s interesting to see how a human being might react if it DID happen.” As in, say, “The Bourne Identity” — ridiculous premise, fascinating character and action.

Anyway, to remind you of the plot: A guy who reads books for the CIA slips out to get lunch for the gang one day, and when he comes back with the takeout all his co-workers are dead. He goes on the lam, suspicious of his own agency, until he can figure out what’s going on. Along the way he reveals resourcefulness and tradecraft that you wouldn’t expect in a professional book reader.

I watched it through, and a little past, one of my favorite scenes: Redford finds himself trapped on an elevator with the head assassin, the masterfully creepy Max Von Sydow, and they are both held hostage by a mundane hassle — some punk teenagers hit all the buttons on the elevator before getting off. Redford and the assassin look at each other, and Max smiles grimly and says, “Kids.” Like, whaddya gonna do? Then the tension builds with each unnecessary opening and closing of the elevator door, and Redford and Max and you and I all know, without a word being said, that Max is going to kill Redford as soon as they get outside — unless Redford can think of something.

Nicely done.

Eventually, I went to bed.

Then this morning, the very first e-mail I open is from Roger Ebert, and one of the new reviews is this movie I had never heard of:

The Next Three Days

The transformation of a schlepp

Russell Crowe slumps comfortably into the role of a junior college teacher in “The Next Three Days,” and then morphs into an unlikely man of action determined to spring his wife from jail. The film might have been more convincing if he’d remained the schleppy English teacher throughout. Once glimmers of “Gladiator” begin to reveal themselves, a certain credibility is lost. The movie is a competent thriller, but maybe could have been more.

Maybe you don’t, but I found the coincidence striking. “Three Days.” Bookish man forced by circumstances to become surprising action hero. Condor/Crowe. Last movie I thought about last night, first item brought to my attention this morning…

Oh, never mind.

It’s not always all about me, as things turn out…

We had a little early Thanksgiving dinner/birthday celebration today at ADCO, and as we were eating I kept hearing some of my coworkers saying:

Brad paisley… Brad, paisley… Brad… paisley

Which made me a little self-conscious, I’ve gotta tell you.

But you know what? This is going to be a real shock to you, I’m sure, but they weren’t talking about the tie I chose to wear today. Go figure.

Comment on election results HERE…

… and I will do my best to keep up with them and approve them in something close to real time.

Remember, I’ll be on WIS from 7 to 8 tonight, and then again from 11 to midnight, if my voice holds out (I seem to have come down with an untimely cold).

So watch me, watch the returns, comment here, and I’ll try to keep up. I’m not sure what the accommodation will be at WIS for my laptop, but I’ll try to figure out something…

Where you can see and hear me in coming days

This morning, I taped a segment for ETV Radio with Mark Quinn, and while I was doing it, I thought that for once, I’d give y’all a heads-up ahead of time about where you can see and hear me over the next few days. So here goes:

  • The ETV Radio segment will air on Friday at 1 p.m. Mark and I talked for 15 minutes, mostly about the gubernatorial election. I worried a bit that I did an uncharacteristic thing: Rather than speak as the detached observer the way I usually do on radio, I spoke as the blogger who very much hopes Vincent overcomes the odds. I apologized to Mark for that after, but he said it was OK, so maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought…
  • Speaking of ETV, a program called “How We Choose” will air on the TV version at 9:30 p.m. Friday, and again on Monday, election eve, at 7 p.m. There are some clips from the program up on the ETV election blog. I was one of a bunch of people interviewed for this, and it was so long ago I don’t know what I said, but it was very Civics 101 stuff about democracy and voting and the like. You know — educational.
  • Remember that “party politics” primer I did on the city election for the Shop Tart, specially crafted for her particular audience? That was well received, and she wants me to do another, and I have promised her I would. So repeating the promise in writing to y’all is my way of making myself write it and get it to her sometime this week. If I fail, I fail in the world’s eyes, not just the Tart’s…
  • I’ve manipulated the Health & Happiness schedule so that it will be my turn to do it at the Columbia Rotary Club on Monday, election eve. If I can’t come up with decent political material for that day, I never will. That’s at 1 p.m. at Seawell’s. You have to get a member to host you if you want to be there. (So now, I’ve just put EXTRA pressure on myself to come up with something good. Sheesh. Comedy is hard.)
  • Nov. 2 — On Election Night, I’ll be on WIS. Judi Gatson has asked me to appear along with Sid Bedingfield (Political analyst from USC) and Douglas Wilson (a blogger at politicsispower.com) to talk election results. I said OK, so guess I won’t be doing my usual roaming that night, but will be in a fixed location. I THINK I’ll be able to blog during that, but if I don’t, and you wonder where I am, turn on the tube.
  • On Nov. 4th, I’ll be speaking to the SC Telecommunications Association’s Fall Conference at the Radisson, about election results.
  • On Saturday, Nov. 6, I’m the featured entertainment for the Lower Richland Dem Breakfast out on Garners Ferry Road. They, too, want me to talk about election results.

So, I’m busy doing a lot of stuff besides earning a living and blogging. But you might say that I’m blogging by other means — and of course wherever I go, I give ADCO a plug…

Hang down your head, candidate

A piece I read in the WSJ this morning reminded me of a picture I shot with my phone while at a stoplight in Birmingham Friday. The story was about candidates with unusual names, such as Young Boozer, Krystal Ball and Isaac Hayes:

It might come as no surprise in these tumultuous times that a Young Boozer is running for Alabama state treasurer.

Young Boozer introduces himself on the stump as, “Young Boozer and yes, that’s my real name.” He says each audience is made up of three parts. The first wonders, “Is that the guy’s real name?” The second says, “‘What’s his father’s name, Old Boozer?”‘ The rest already know him.

Mr. Boozer, 61 years old, is the third consecutive Young Boozer in his family. He coined the motto, “funny name, serious leadership,” after realizing on the campaign trail the political advantage the elder Young Boozers had passed along. Previously, the Boozers were associated mostly with sports. Mr. Boozer’s father, Young Boozer, Jr., was a football star at the University of Alabama, where he faced off in the Rose Bowl against a Stanford player named Tom Collins.

“I’ve always been a Boozer,” jokes the candidate. The family name is so unusual that “once you hear it, you never forget it,” he says. Still, “I didn’t think it was funny when I was growing up because my dad was so well known.”…

I’m sorry if you can’t make out the blurry image above, but it urges people to vote for Tom Dooley for Alabama state board of education. (So yes, in Alabama, voters have the opportunity to vote for both a famous name from an iconic folk song, and Young Boozer.)

This sparked a conversation between my wife and me — one of those kinds of conversations that are rare in this era of Google. I couldn’t consult the Blackberry while driving, and so we tried to remember… we both knew about the folk song, and to the great regret of the other occupants of the car, I was able to sing four lines of it, repeatedly, before I got stuck:

Hang down your head, Tom Doo-ley.

Hang down your head and cry.

Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.

Poor boy, you’re gonna die…

Beyond that, we didn’t know much. I was thinking the song was about a man condemned some notorious, long-forgotten murder. My wife said yes, but the defendant was a doctor. I said I didn’t know about that, but I did know… and launched into my four lines again.

Well, now that Wikipedia is at hand, I can report that:

  • The song was about the 1866 murder in North Carolina of a woman named Laura Foster.
  • Tom Dula was hanged for the murder in 1868, after two trials.
  • Dula was pronounced “Dooley” in Appalachian dialect, as a result of the same linguistic quirk that led to the current pronunciation and spelling of Grand Ole Opry.
  • Several versions of the song, first sung shortly after Dula’s execution, were recorded in the first half of the 20th century. By far the most famous was by The Kingston Trio in 1958, which was a huge crossover hit and is widely credited with launching the folk boom of the early 60s.
  • At the time that hit recording came out, a Dr. Tom Dooley (Thomas Anthony Dooley III) was famous as an international humanitarian. (Since he was an American Catholic, I’m guessing my wife heard a lot about him from the nuns at school.)
  • It’s not “gonna die,” but “bound to die.”

Oh, finally — turns out the Tom Dooley running for school board is also “Dr. Tom Dooley,” according to his Web site.

And that’s all I know about Tom Dooley.

Aren’t you glad you weren’t stuck in a car with me driving for 20 hours over the weekend? I won’t even get into the thoughts I had when I saw in Memphis a sign telling me that Ned Ray McWherter’s boy is running for governor…

Ranting about “Rubicon”

I’ve been raving about AMC’s “Rubicon” all season, and now that I’ve seen the last episode, I’ll rant about it a bit.

But first… SPOILER ALERT! OK, now we’ll proceed…

What was THAT about? Call that an ending? Even for a season?

I’ll share with you this partial litany of objections that I just shared with Jim Foster, who has been sharing his enjoyment of the series with me via e-mail throughout the season:

  • What about… the woman who was just murdered?
  • What about… the DVD she didn’t give Will — and he didn’t bother to find and pick up?
  • What about… David’s last message (which she, incredibly, didn’t pause a few minutes to see — you know, in case the disc broke or something)?
  • What about… the foxy neighbor lady who turned out suddenly to be a spook?
  • WHY didn’t Will go to Kale Ingram — the only professional he has on his side, and the only person with a clue what to do in the face of violence — the instant he got back to the office?
  • WHY on Earth would he first confront Spangler alone, without witnesses, thereby giving the bad guy at least a chance of killing him before he is able to expose him to anyone?
  • How about that Maggie, huh? ‘Bout time he got around to her… (this is not actually relevant to my objections; I just wanted to say it)
  • What happened to the writers of all the earlier episodes, which were GOOD? Were they killed by terrorists just before this one?

Teaching Ellen to do the Joan walk

My first reaction, when my attention was called to this item, was — being the ideologically incorrect so-and-so that I am — that this video would no doubt be another argument in favor of DADT. There are certain people who just shouldn’t do certain things in public.

But Ellen is a hoot, and she’s game, and bless her for trying.

And besides, relatively few hetero women on this planet can move like our Christina. And not look ridiculous, that is.

Sorry I couldn’t find an embed code. But you can follow the link to the video.

That’s not MY Christina…

Kathryn probably thought she was doing me a favor sending me this link to a piece about a Christina Hendricks photo shoot. But I was disappointed. She’s way more attractive on “Mad Men,” and most attractive of all back on “Firefly” (see below). In this shoot, they made her look way artificial, almost like there’s a plastic coating covering her from head to toe. Nevertheless, Christina herself seems proud of it, because they got it from her site.

Whereas I want to see the real Joan. I mean, Saffron. I mean, Brigid. I mean, Yolanda. I mean, of course, Christina.

Speaking the same language, but only technically

You know how I just got HD? Well, this process all started with me wanting a Blu-ray player so I could watch Netflix without waiting for the discs to come in the mail.

That part of the project has been… tricky. I’ve spent several late nights in the past week trying to get that one simple thing done.

I thought I’d share with you my conversation — excuse me, “chat,” which isn’t the same thing — about the problem with a tech at Sony. As you read it, imagine unexplained pauses of five or 10 minutes while I wait for short, incomplete answers from the tech. Of course, when I took a couple of minutes to go try what the tech suggested (going through the process on a different browser), I got “Please acknowledge my question, so that I can assist you better.”

Note that, while it’s all in English, there is a distinct… disconnect… in the flow of communication. I get the sense that each comment is being run imperfectly through a translator. And it was amazingly frustrating. I was so desperate to work effectively with this person that I even slipped into a stilted version of English myself, hoping it would facilitate things (“Yes, it persists.” To which I got another deadpan, Hal-9000 answer):

Corinne_ > Hi Brad. Welcome to Sony Online Support. I’m Corinne. Please allow me a moment to review your concern.
Brad Warthen > Here is a full description of the problem:
Brad Warthen > I’m trying to get Netflix on my new Blu-ray player. I have an internet connection, but when it tells me to go to internet.sony.tv/netflix on my computer and enter a password, I run into trouble. That address asks me for my e-mail address and a password. So I enter my e-mail address, and the password that the Blu-ray player told me to use, and I get “The password you entered is invalid. Please enter a valid password.” So I try the password I created when I registered my player, and I get the same message. So I click on “Reset or Forgot your Password” and follow the directions, and you send me a new, temporary password. I’ve done this THREE TIMES now, and each time I enter the new, temporary password minutes (sometimes seconds) after receiving it, and I get “Your temporary password has expired. Please change the existing password at SonyStyle website.” Every time, same message. So what in the world am I supposed to do now?
Corinne_ > I am sorry that the BD Player can not be registerred in the Sony Essential website.
Corinne_ > Thanks for waiting, Brad.
Corinne_ > I’ll be happy to assist you in this regard.
Corinne_ > Do you have a SonyStyle account?
Brad Warthen > Yes.
Corinne_ > Did you try using different Web Brower?
Brad Warthen > No. I just used Firefox.
Brad Warthen > Hello? Are you there?
Corinne_ > Yes, I am online.
Brad Warthen > I said no, I just used Firefox. Is there a preferred browser?
Corinne_ > Brad, it is recommened to open the Eseential website in either Internet Explorer or Mozilla Firefox 3.6.
Corinne_ > Please check the operation with a different web browser.
Brad Warthen > I’m using Firefox. 3.6.10. But I’ll go try IE as well.
Corinne_ > Sure, please go ahead.
Corinne_ > Please let me know if the issue persists.
Brad Warthen > … that is, assuming it still works… I never use IE; I always use Firefox or Chrome…
Corinne_ > Please let me know the result after using Internet Explorer.
Corinne_ > Please acknowledge my question, so that I can assist you better.
Brad Warthen > Yes, it persists.
Brad Warthen > I tried all my passwords, then requested a new one. When I entered the new one, I got “Your temporary password has expired. Please change the existing password at SonyStyle website. ” Again.
Corinne_ > I am sorry to hear this.
Corinne_ > Thanks for the additional information.
Corinne_ > I am really sorry for the delay in response.
Corinne_ > This is a dead lock issue.
Brad Warthen > What does that mean?
Corinne_ > This deadlock issue can handled by our next level of support over phone.
Brad Warthen > OK, what’s the number?
Corinne_ > They are our next level of support and better eqipped to help you resolving the issue.
Brad Warthen > OK. What’s the number, so I can call them?
Corinne_ > They are available at: 239-768-7547.
Corinne_ > Their hours of operation is:
Corinne_ > Mon-Fri 8:00AM-12:00AM (Midnight) ET
Sat-Sun 9:00AM-8:00PM ET
Brad Warthen > OK, I’ll call, and tell them it’s a “deadlock issue.”
Corinne_ > I am sure that they will be more than happy to further assist you resolving the issue.
Corinne_ > Please mention that you have contacted Chat Support Team for the same regard before while contacting the.
Corinne_ > Hence, theyb will be further assist you fixing the issue.
Corinne_ > Thus, you can access Netflix fine in the BD Player.
Corinne_ > Are you able to take it from here?
Brad Warthen > Yes. I was trying to copy the text of this chat so that I’d have the number and times, but the text box doesn’t allow me to select it. Could you e-mail me the info?
Corinne_ > Sure, Brad.
Corinne_ > I’ll forward this chat transcript to your Email ID for future reference.
Brad Warthen > Thanks. Goodbye.
Corinne_ > This Chat Transcript has been sent to: brad@bradwarthen.com.
Corinne_ > You are most welcome.
Corinne_ > It was really nice chatting with you.
Corinne_ > Have great time ahead!
Corinne_ > Good-bye and thank you for contacting Sony Online Support.
Corinne_ > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

So I guess tonight, I’ll be on the phone for several hours.

Gamecock fans, you may now thank me

How did the Gamecocks topple the No. 1 college football team in the nation? Well, I’ll tell ya…

Saturday was the first time I watched an entire Gamecocks football game ever. So of course, it follows that they had their biggest win since I moved back to SC in 1987.

As you know, I’m not a football fan. But I now have HDTV in my house. I got the TV for my birthday, and Thursday the cable guy spent 7 hours at my house hauling it out of the 18th century. So this was the first Saturday since I got HD, and as I always suspected, I DID get interested in football once I had HD. Something about the color and spectacle of it, rendering in super-sharp digital imagery. (“Hyper-intense eye candy,” as I described it after the first time I experienced it.) A true case of the medium being the message, I guess.

And I enjoyed it. I say again, I’m not a football fan, but there’s a certain enjoyment to be had in watching someone do something well. Back when I was a reporter and sometimes helped out the sports department by covering a game for them in one of the rural counties I covered, I used to always sit in the stands — the press box held no charms for me — and when there was a good play by either team, I’d get so into it, I’d stand up to applaud. Which was awkward if the stands I happened to be sitting in was occupied by fans of the opposite team.

And on Saturday, we saw Stephen Garcia (selected as national Offensive Player of the Week by the Walter Camp Football Foundation), Marcus Lattimore and the rest of the boys playing football just as it should be played. Which was fun to watch.

Oh, and if you doubt that they won because I was watching, here’s proof: I didn’t quite watch the entire game. I wandered away from the TV during halftime, and missed the beginning of the second half. Yes, I was out of the room when Garcia bizarrely threw for a safety. In other words, the Chicken Curse briefly asserted itself when I wasn’t watching.

As a new business model for the blog, I may turn from advertising and instead get Gamecock fans to pay me to watch every minute of every game in the future. If the price is right, and it’s on HD, I just might do it…

THAT’s why they locked her up on the Death Star

The only surprising thing about this was that Matt Drudge seems to think it’s news:

Drudge Report

tweetdrudge Drudge Report

Princess Leia did cocaine on ‘STAR WARS’ set…http://bit.ly/9CSJRY #tcot

I sort of thought that was a given. I mean, we’re not talking about a paragon here. This is the actress we had known previously only as the nymphet who uttered that memorable (to guys, anyway) line in “Shampoo.” And then there was that tell-all book of hers. (But that was a novel, right? Right.)

I’ve got no particular reason to pass this on today, beyond the fact that it allows us to start off the week thinking about Princess Leia, which is always good.

Alternative headline: “THAT’s why Chewbacca made that weird noise…“

I feel your pain Joss; I feel it

Twitter brought my attention to these thoughts from Joss Whedon on why we are not likely to see a sequel to “Serenity:”

While it wasn’t a box office barn burner, Serenity is now something of a hit on DVD and Blu-ray, which makes the possibility of a sequel seem more likely. Alas, Whedon only shakes his head at the prospect: “As far as Firefly is concerned, that will always be unfinished business. Serenity was a Band-Aid on a sucking flesh wound. I think every day about the scenes that I’ll never get to shoot and how badass they were. It’s nice to know that people still care about Firefly but it’s actual grief that I feel. It’s not something you get over, it’s just something you learn to live with.”

I feel your pain, Joss; I really do. We all do. Gorram it.

The real Don Draper (Draper Daniels, who called himself “Dan”)

Draper "Dan" Daniels and Myra Janco in 1965.

As the fourth season of “Mad Men” unfolds, fans wonder:

  • Will Don Draper get it together, or continue to unravel?
  • Will Peggy or Joan just get fed up to the point that she slaps every man on the show upside the head in a vain attempt to inject some sense into them?
  • Will Betty and her new husband just be written out of the show? Please?
  • Now that it’s 1964, will the show work with a post-Beatles sound track, or will the whole martinis-and-skinny ties mystique evaporate? (Hearing “Satisfaction” in the background the other night really made ol’ Don seem more anachronistic than usual, which I suppose was the point. Although I suppose the “can’t be a man cause he doesn’t smoke/the same cigarettes as me” part was apropos.)
  • Is Don Draper actually modeled on real-life Mad Man Brad Warthen?

On that last one, to end your suspense, the answer is no: The uncanny physical resemblance is merely coincidental.

In fact, we have learned who the real-life model was: Draper Daniels, who called himself Dan (… were in the next room at the hoedown… Sorry; I can’t resist a good song cue). His widow wrote a fascinating piece about him, and about their relationship, in Chicago magazine. You should read the whole thing, headlined “I Married a Mad Man” — as my wife said, it’s an “awesome” story — but here’s an excerpt:

In the 1960s, Draper Daniels was something of a legendary character in American advertising. As the creative head of Leo Burnett in Chicago in the 1950s, he had fathered the Marlboro Man campaign, among others, and become known as one of the top idea men in the business. He was also a bit of a maverick.

Matthew Weiner, the producer of the television show Mad Men (and previously producer and writer for The Sopranos), acknowledged that he based his protagonist Don Draper in part on Draper Daniels, whom he called “one of the great copy guys.” Weiner’s show, which takes place at the fictional Sterling Cooper ad agency on Madison Avenue, draws from the golden age of American advertising. Some of its depictions are quite accurate—yes, there was a lot of drinking and smoking back then, and a lot of chauvinism; some aren’t so accurate. I know this, because I worked with Draper Daniels in the ad biz for many years. We did several mergers together, the longest of which lasted from 1967 until his death in 1983. That merger is my favorite Draper Daniels story.

Reading that article, I wondered: If Don is Dan, who on the show is Myra?

As I read, I got a sense that it could be… Peggy. A woman who was a professional colleague of the main characters, a woman who had risen to an unprecedented role for her gender at the agency? Sounds kinda like Peggy to me — aside from the age difference. After all, Peggy and Don got awfully cozy that night of the Clay-Liston fight…

We’ll see…

Peggy and Don on the night of the Clay-Liston fight (Feb. 24, 1964).

A little Roland to kick off your weekend…

Apropos of nothing, aside from wanting to leave you with something really choice going into the weekend, I share with you the above video that I ran across moments ago.

Well, actually, I sort of went looking for it when I saw on Facebook that my good friend Jeff Miller was going to hear somebody named Robbie Fulks tonight, and I wanted to make sure he didn’t forget what truly awesome music sounded like.

God rest Warren Zevon. And Roland too, of course…

This must be Labor Day

The way I can tell is that the election-related interview requests have started coming in at a brisk clip.

Last week there were three. I meant to tell you about them because one of them was New Watch on WIS, which aired Sunday morning. So unless you’re some kind of heathen who sits around watching TV on Sunday morning (and I say that without meaning any aspersions upon the heathen community), you missed it, because I forgot to tell you about it.

Ex-Mayor Bob Coble saw it, and sent me a note to say “Good job on Newswatch,” which I appreciate. Not to say Mayor Bob is a heathen. He’s just way into politics; he can’t help it.

I taped that Thursday afternoon. Then I also taped a segment over at ETV on Friday, also about the election. That won’t air until sometime in October. (It was broader, big-picture stuff, not as pegged to the news of the day.) I’ll get the date and try to remember to let you know.

Back on Thursday, I got an e-mail from Chris Haire with Charleston City Paper, to the following effect:

Just wanted to see if you have time to talk. I’m working on a story on the ongoing Nikki Haley rumors. Here’s the angle: With no proof out there, the only way to truly address this is as a smear. And, what’s particularly odd here, is that it’s such an ongoing smear — and truth be told, arguably the most ineffective smear in history. The question here is why it’s still happening.

I found that cryptic. I assumed it was a reference to this. But it wasn’t. It was a reference to something else, something I hadn’t heard about (and wish I still hadn’t), specifically this. (Which led later to this.)

I talked with him, and tried to say something coherent, but what are you supposed to say? Frankly, I’m just like most folks in South Carolina — uncomfortable as hell talking about this stuff. Which is why I sort of doubt it will emerge as visibly as it did back during the primary. At least, I hope it doesn’t.

Anyway, I asked Chris to let me know when that is published. If and when I see it, I’ll give y’all a link. If I forget to look, and y’all see if first, remind me. I want to keep y’all in the loop. I just forget sometimes.

You still have a landline? Haw! The AZTECS had landlines!

OK, so I stole that line from Dave Barry, who said it once to make fun of people who had Betamax video recorders (“Beta?! The AZTECS had Beta!” — or something very much like that), which is made extra ironic because the triumphant VHS technology is now SO last century…

But you get the point. Landlines are rapidly going the way of buggy whips and, well, TV sets — at least in consumer’s minds.

TV sets? you say. Yes, TV sets. This from the Pew Center for Media Research:

Landlines And Television Sets Losing Importance

According to a new nationwide survey from the Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends project, reported by Paul Taylor and Wendy Wang with Lee Rainie and Aaron Smith, only 42% of Americans say they consider the television set to be a necessity. Last year, this figure was 52%, and in 2006, it was 64%.

After occupying center stage in the American household for much of the 20th century, says the report, two of the grand old luminaries of consumer technology, the television set and the landline telephone, are suffering from a sharp decline in public perception that they are necessities of life.

The drop-off has been less severe for the landline telephone. 62% of Americans say it’s a necessity of life, down from 68% last year, but 47% of the public now say that the cell phone is a necessity of life…

Note, first, that Pew, or at least the respondents, are using “need” and “necessity” in ways that would have puzzled our hardy pioneer ancestors. Note also that while fewer people see TVs as a necessity, they’re still buying them like crazy:

Even as fewer Americans say they consider the TV set to be a necessity of life, more Americans than ever are stocking up on them. In 2009, the average American home had more television sets than people, 2.86, according to a Nielsen report. In 2000, this figure was 2.43; in 1990, it was 2.0; and in 1975, it was 1.57.

The disconnect between attitudes and behaviors, opines the report, may be that the TV set hasn’t had to deal with competition from new technology that can fully replace all of its functions. If a person wants real-time access to the wide spectrum of entertainment, sports and news programming available on television, there’s still nothing (at least not yet) that can compete with the television set itself…

So don’t write the obit yet. But as for landlines — exactly why DO I still have one? So I won’t miss the telemarketing calls?

I see also that only 10 percent regard flat-screen HDTV as a necessity. It’s probably going to be in the high 90s before I get one. Mainly because, much as I want one, my sense of need is still pretty old-fashioned…

The South won’t rise again, but it will keep on making head fakes in that direction

Imagine the irony! I was listening, via Pandora, to an excellent live version of Levon Helm singing his masterpiece, “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.” It opened with a little horn riff on “Dixie” itself. The song is simply magnificent, capturing everything that was noble and tragic and horrible and epic and personal in our ancestors’ fall into defeat.

So imagine how it was ruined for me by, even as I was listening to it and appreciating it, reading this low farce from Karen Floyd:

Dear Subscriber

An unprecedented event recently occurred, where the president of the United States issued a report to the U.N. Human Rights Council that bashed a state law. In a desperate attempt to gain the awe and admiration of global elitists, President Obama sounded off about the many “sins” in America’s history, including Arizona’s new illegal immigration bill.Obama writes, “A recent Arizona law, S.B. 1070, has generated significant attention and debate at home and around the world. The issue is being addressed in a court action that argues that the federal government has the authority to set and enforce immigration law. That action is ongoing; parts of the law are currently enjoined.” He also went on about how he is seeking to offer free health care to illegal immigrants.

The context of this U.N. forum is to discuss human rights in the United States. Apparently, Obama thinks that Arizona’s law is in violation of human rights, which is why he is not only suing the state, but also reporting it to the U.N. council.

Lesson learned everyone: a liberal will always seek the praise and respect of foreign powers over the rights of the American people or the Constitution.

As a direct result of Obama’s ridiculous report to the U.N., the Arizona law will come under formal review on November 5 by the three member countries of the UN Human Rights Commission: France, Japan, and Cameroon. The U.N. Commission will then issue directives on what they recommend the United States do in response to the Arizona law.

This is simply outrageous! How can an American president sell out his own countrymen to a foreign entity over a state law that simply enforces existing federal laws? Our president should be bowing to the people’s demands, and NOT the whims of an international organization.

Folks, it is time to fight back. We desperately need trusted conservatives like Mike Mulvaney, Nikki Haley and Jim DeMint to fight for our liberties and state sovereignty. The elitists in Washington are trying to allow a foreign power to dictate your life and safety. Will you allow this to happen?

Click here to help fund conservative change and individual rights! Let’s help elect individuals who will enforce the Constitution and stand up for our rights and sovereignty.

Sincerely,

Karen Floyd

SCGOP Chairman

P.S. Let’s take the battle to them and send Obama a message! Please click here to donate now.

Just as elites conned the poor white population into being their cannon fodder in a lost and bankrupt cause in 1860, this new strain of Radical Republicanism keeps playing on the same resentments and sensitivities and inferiority complexes to manipulate the great mass of white voters in the South today.

They just keep on driving Dixie down.

The Fatties vs. the Fantasists: A hypothetical rematch with the Japanese

Last night, by way of explaining to my daughter more fully why Roger Sterling was so abominably rude to the guys from Honda in last week’s “Mad Men” I popped in the first episode of “The Pacific.” (As I’ve mentioned, since I’m currently reading the books that series was based on — I’m on Eugene Sledge’s With the Old Breed now — that theater is much on my mind.)

For most of us, buying Hondas and Toyotas, and even, most improbably, Mitsubishis (as in, the Zero) comes fairly naturally. There is probably less conflict in the national psyche over those than over, say, Volkswagen. But for those who fought in the less-understood Pacific war, the stress of fighting a suicidally aggressive enemy with seemingly superhuman commitment to his cause, would be something that would mark you forever.

But if we had a rematch with the Japanese, it might go differently.

Did you see the NYT story on the front page of The State today, about how Army training has been “walked back” a bit to  make it less stressful on recruits who grew up playing video games instead of baseball? An excerpt:

FORT JACKSON, S.C. — Dawn breaks at this, the Army’s largest training post, with the reliable sound of fresh recruits marching to their morning exercise. But these days, something looks different.

That familiar standby, the situp, is gone, or almost gone. Exercises that look like pilates or yoga routines are in. And the traditional bane of the new private, the long run, has been downgraded.

This is the Army’s new physical-training program, which has been rolled out this year at its five basic training posts that handle 145,000 recruits a year. Nearly a decade in the making, its official goal is to reduce injuries and better prepare soldiers for the rigors of combat in rough terrain like Afghanistan.

But as much as anything, the program was created to help address one of the most pressing issues facing the military today: overweight and unfit recruits…

Now, I’m not about to call today’s war fighters wimps. Especially not the tip-of-the-spear types like the Marines, or the Airborne divisions, or the Rangers or other elites. They are, if anything, tougher than ever, and certainly more lethal.

But that story gives us a hint of what it would be like if the Army ceased being so selective because it was handling a mass mobilization such as that of 1941-45. Imagine soldiers who had never done a pushup in basic trying to make their way through a fetid jungle in 100-degree-plus temps.

But fear not, because in today’s WSJ, we have evidence that they would not be met with shrieking madmen eager to die for their emperor. Get a load of this:

Since the marriage rate among Japan’s shrinking population is falling and with many of the country’s remaining lovebirds heading for Hawaii or Australia’s Gold Coast, Atami had to do something. It is trying to attract single men—and their handheld devices.

In the first month of the city’s promotional campaign launched July 10, more than 1,500 male fans of the Japanese dating-simulation game LovePlus+ have flocked to Atami for a romantic date with their videogame character girlfriends.

The men are real. The girls are cartoon characters on a screen…

Love Plus+ re-creates the experience of an adolescent romance. The goal isn’t just to get the girl but to maintain a relationship with her.

After choosing one of three female characters—goodie-goodie Manaka, sassy Rinko or big-sister type Nene—to be a steady girlfriend, the player taps a stylus on the DS touch-screen in order to walk hand-in-hand to school, exchange flirtatious text messages and even meet in the school courtyard for a little afternoon kiss. Using the device’s built-in microphone, the player can carry on sweet, albeit mundane, conversations.

Wow. Get those guys charged up on saki, and they’re not going to be screaming “banzai,” but drooling over decidedly unwomanly avatars, hoping for a pretend peck on the cheek.

So maybe a nation of fatties could take them. But probably only in a virtual war, fought on a virtual playing field. At least our video games are tougher than theirs, if this is an example.

Maybe Harry Turtledove will take on this topic.

Le Carré trash-talks James Bond

Don’t know if you saw this in The Telegraph last week, but they resurrected a 1966 interview Malcolm Muggeridge did with David Cornwell (workname John le Carré), in which he called 007 a “neo-fascist gangster” and elaborated:

“I dislike Bond. I’m not sure that Bond is a spy. I think that it’s a great mistake if one’s talking about espionage literature to include Bond in this category at all,” Le Carré said.

“It seems to me he’s more some kind of international gangster with, as it is said, a licence to kill… he’s a man entirely out of the political context. It’s of no interest to Bond who, for instance, is president of the United States or of the Union of Soviet Republics.”

Asked now about the interview for a programme to appear on BBC Four next week, he eased up a bit, but still had to say:

“But at the root of Bond there was something neo-fascistic and totally materialist. You felt he would have gone through the same antics for any country really, if the girls had been so pretty and the Martinis so dry.”

Oh, lighten up, Francis! We get it! We know Bond is a silly Hugh Hefneresque fantasy, and we know you are the gold standard for real spy fiction (although Len Deighton has occasionally given you a run for your money, such as in The Ipcress File). And we get that it was probably pretty galling in ’66 that everybody was talking about Bond when you were putting out such gritty stuff as your masterpiece, The Spy Who Came In From The Cold.

Anyone ever notice how, if you watch an early Bond movie after seeing Austin Powers, you realize Mike Myers was hardly exaggerating at all? It was all really that goofy.

But here’s the thing that concerned me the most about the Telegraph piece:

Bond has become a Hollywood hero, but Smiley may have the last laugh. While financial woes at film studio MGM have put the 23rd Bond movie on indefinite hold, a new film adaptation of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is planned for 2012 with Gary Oldman and Benedict Cumberbatch in starring roles.

Remake “Tinker, Tailor”?!?!? Possibly the best thing ever made for the telly (closest competition being “Band of Brothers”)? Sacrilege! I mean, it’s like Anna Chapman trying to cash in on her celebrity after being blown. In either case, Smiley would be appalled. Gary Oldman is awesome and all (I sort of see him as Karla, though, who does not appear in Tinker). But let’s have a little respect. Maybe instead you could do The Honourable Schoolboy, which got skipped in the original BBC productions.