Category Archives: Unemployment

Today’s job fair: Sweatin’ at the museum

Today's job fair at the S.C. State Museum. (Don't know whether all these folks are job-seekers; some may just be visiting museum.)

Well, the job fair at the State Museum today was a great success, if you measure it by turnout. The place was packed during the noon hour. I had meant to go earlier (it started at 11), but I wanted to swing by the Bauer thing at the State House, so I think I was probably there at the peak.

By the time I got in from the jammed parking lot I was already pretty sweaty, even though I didn’t put on my coat until I was inside. Looks like I’ve got another candidate for the cleaners (sorry, bud, but I don’t know any way to job hunt except in a coat and tie). And for all the sweat, it wasn’t as productive for me. I think the employers at the Fort Jackson one I went to probably came closer to having openings that I might be suited to. Better yet, that one was less crowded, and it was easier to have a normal conversation with the folks at the tables.

This one was a madhouse. I guess some civilians hesitate to go to something on the Fort, but they definitely didn’t hesitate to show for this one.

Not much else to say, except to share my Tweets from while I was there:

This job fair has some of same names as Ft. Jax one: Aflac, Richco sheriff, others. Much bigger turnout…

I’m ruining another jacket milling about sweatily at job fair. A dry cleaner’s dream…about 4 hours ago from web

Toys not as good at this job fair as the last one. All I have so far is an unexciting keyring from Carmax.about 4 hours ago from web

Mary Kay and Avon going head-to-head at the job fair…about 4 hours ago from web

Maybe I’ll come back to job fair later. Can’t have tete-a-tete w/ prospective employer in this madhouse…about 4 hours ago from web

I’ll bet Obama asked him not to shave, either

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First and foremost, I want to congratulate fellow South Carolinian Ben Bernanke for keeping his job under trying circumstances. I’m glad he doesn’t have to go back to working at South of the Border.

Any time any South Carolinian can keep his job in this economy, considering the total cock-up the folks in charge have made of it, it’s good news… Oh, wait, Ben Bernanke IS one of the people in charge of the economy…

Seriously, though, I have no complaints about Bernanke’s performance. And maybe he has even helped us avoid things getting worse, as the president suggested today in reappointing him.

At the same time, I’m not sure how much difference it makes. The president wanted to signal stability — was in such a hurry to do so that neither he nor Ben could take a moment to put on a tie — and he did that with this action. Fine. And I love it when Democrats appoint Republicans, and vice versa (in fact, about the only Republicans I can stand are those who would appoint or be appointed by Democrats, and again vice versa).

And that might be as far as substance goes. It would be unsettling to change horses at this point, so the president interrupted his vacation to tell the markets he’s not going to shake them up that way. Fine.

And while it wasn’t mentioned, I’ll bet part of the president’s private conversation with Bernanke involved begging the Fed chair to not even consider ever shaving his beard. You don’t think that’s important? Huh. Shows what you know. Just as Ben Bernanke is an expert on the Great Depression, I happen to be an expert on the subject of the economic impact of Ben Bernanke’s beard. I was quoted by The Wall Street Journal on the subject, no less. Do you know anyone else who’s been quoted by the Journal on that subject? I didn’t think so. So all right, then: That makes me the world’s leading authority.

And speaking ex cathedra from my considerable store of expertise, I can assure you that the president reappointed the Dillon Countian for the same reason why Bernanke doesn’t get up one morning and decide to shave (even though I sort of suggested he should last year, but the situation was more desperate then): Because the markets couldn’t handle the change. They’re too fragile.

Becoming a Madman

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As I may have mentioned, I’ve done some freelance work recently for folks in the advertising/public relations world, and most recently some friends at a local agency have been letting me use an empty office at their digs, which is really nice.

Even nicer, they invited me to be their guest at a reception given Wednesday (at least I think it was Wednesday; my days are swimming by so) by the Midlands chapter of the American Advertising Federation at Gallery 701. I saw lots of folks I hadn’t seen in awhile, such as a former editor at The State who was laid off with me and is now doing PR work, and newer acquaintances I’ve been getting to know in my new, still largely unformed incarnation.

Fortunately, there were name tags (all of life should have name tags; I’m terrible with names). And these being creative ad folk, there was a participatory theme to the tags. As you can see, they were imprinted with the words “Join. Belong.,” followed by a blank. I was told to fill in the blank with a verb.

Some chose upbeat messages such as “Enjoy” or “Celebrate.” One went existential with “Be.” I was all business. I have one clear goal and aim that I want everyone to associate with me, so I went with that. Maybe a real Madman would have been more subtle, but not me.

Anyway, as they used to say in my former profession, a good time was had by all, and I appreciate being invited.

Checking my look, checking my attitude

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Y’all remember Christina Binkley. She’s the super-savvy Wall Street Journal columnist who quoted me awhile back regarding key economic indicators (in this case, Ben Bernanke’s beard — don’t ask me to explain; follow the link).

Anyway, today she’s giving advice on how to be unemployed with style, so of course I paid close attention:

Laid Off? Check Your Look … and Your Attitude

Newly Jobless Update Wardrobes, Rein In Resentment and Embrace Punctuation

… In the aftermath of a layoff, style is critical. And it’s about more than the decision to polish a wardrobe. The way people comport themselves after losing a job can make all the difference in what comes next. From how they convey the news to colleagues, to the type of clothes they wear and how they punctuate their emails, the newly jobless must use careful footwork to navigate the job hunt.

When in doubt, it’s a safe bet to retreat to conservative styles. After Michael Bragg was downsized from his New York-based job at a high-end European fashion brand, he went out and bought a new pair of shoes—lace-up, American-made Aldens. Play it straight with email, too. Sure, sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable to shoot off a short, all lowercase missive to a colleague. But punctuation is a risk-free option. The same goes for social-networking. Now is not the time to post pics from a beer-sodden barbecue and share them with everyone in your network….

Good advice, that last bit. Hang on a sec while I go pull a couple of things off of YouTube…

…OK, I’m back. (While I was there, I updated my channel so it no longer says I’m “the VP/Editorial Page Editor of The State, the largest newspaper in South Carolina.” Along with style and attitude, I’m assuming accuracy is also important.)

Back to Christina’s piece today … I hope bud will take careful note of the advice therein. bud doesn’t seem to think I should be wearing clothing that requires dry-cleaning while unemployed. I disagree. Christina’s with me. Folks, I get up every morning, put on my coat and tie (shirt and pants, too — details are important), and go downtown to have breakfast at the usual place (Doug knows where). Only way I know to stay in the game and maintain contacts. To me, networking seems key. Looking like you’re ready to go to work this minute also seems advisable.

As for attitude — I think I’m OK there, too. I didn’t get upset and cuss anybody out when I got laid off. I mean, y’all can go back and see what I said at the time, here and here and here (I even said nice stuff about Mark Sanford). Maybe there will be a delayed reaction sometime, but I haven’t really worked up a good mad yet (which is actually sort of out of character for me, but there it is). I guess as a vice president of the company I understood the situation too well. Thirty-eight people were getting the ax that day, and they needed some of them to be top management. I got picked (and had the honor of being the one mentioned in the news story). Way of the world. Stiff upper lip and all that. A chap must face facts, and other pseudo-British mumbo-jumbo…

So I’m doing everything right. Of course, it hasn’t produced full-time permanent employment yet, so after a few more dry-cleaning bills maybe I’ll try bud’s approach, but for the moment I still think Christina knows the score.

Is that a promise, Sen. DeMint?

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My attention was drawn to this SCBiz headline:

DeMint says public option would destroy nation’s health care system

… to which I automatically responded, “Is that a promise? Are you sure? You’re not just teasing? All right! When do we get started?”

We’ve heard a lot of silly back-and-forth about health care in recent weeks, but this is the first time I’ve heard anyone suggest the one thing that makes the most sense to me: Blow up what we’ve got entirely and start over.

As my long-time readers will know, even back when I HAD good conventional health care coverage, I was agitating for this. Why? Because as I documented in this column and this one and elsewhere on the old blog, most folks who discuss the health care problem in this country focus on the wrong thing. They focus on the people like me who no longer have private employer-provided health care (although for a limited time I have access to the same care via COBRA thank God, at just under $600 a month — to go up over $1,500 after December, if I’m lucky).

But the real problem is that (note the numbers in my parenthetical above), medical coverage has gotten way too expensive even for the lucky ones who have it — and certainly far too expensive for the businesses that try to provide it.

My problem with Obamacare all along has been that the president is too timid on this subject, and this is not a situation for tiptoeing. This nation desperately needs a do-over on the way it pays for health care, because we are paying too much for results that just aren’t good enough for an advanced nation.

So thank you, Sen. DeMint, for getting the conversation started in a more productive direction. Even if you didn’t mean to…

Something I didn’t need to hear today

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Here’s the way the world works. I’ve been out of work how long now — five months? I’m pressing on all fronts to get a job while doing freelance things when I can. I’m trying all kinds of things — for instance, I’ve started putting out some feelers to people who I hope might help me with getting some ads on my blog.

Also, the last few days I’ve started camping out in an empty office at a local ad agency, which I will not name at this time in order to protect the innocent. The president of the company is a friend who is trying to help out, and who also thinks some synergy might emerge from my hanging here; I might have some ideas that could be helpful to some of his clients. Hasn’t happened yet, but I just started this Monday.

I haven’t actually given the synergy thing much time to work, though, as personal business has called me away from the office in the middle of the day each of these three days so far. Monday and Tuesday it was fun stuff — I was watching the twins back at my house. (So if I write about that, does that make this a “Mommy blog?” Or maybe a “Mr. Mom blog…”)

But today, I’ve got to be back at the house by 2 p.m. because of something that is pretty much the opposite of fun. My wife says the people she called out to find out why the sump pump under the house has been running constantly recently have told her that we have a burst water line under the master bedroom, which has been liberally spraying the underside of our floor and apparently done all sorts of damage. So I’m meeting plumbers, and then I’ll have to meet insurance adjustors, then contractors, then who knows?

When it rains, it pours. Even upside-down, under the house.

You know what? I’m starting to wonder how I ever found time to hold a full-time job in the first place…

Best toys from today’s job fair at Fort Jackson

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Today, at the suggestion of my unemployment caseworker, I went to the job fair out at Fort Jackson. It was mainly for prospective employers to talk to military personnel thinking of entering the civilian workforce, but civilians such as myself were welcomed as well.

This was my first job fair ever, and although I had been warned not to expect much (my private outplacement advisor said the next client of his who got a job from a job fair would be the first), I found it to be enjoyable and rewarding. I talked to a lot of nice folks from a variety of companies and agencies, and may actually have gotten some leads on a job.

In the small world department, I had a nice time talking with Steve Kelly from the State Department (there’s a foreign service exam coming up in our area in October, and I may take it), who worked for The Charlotte Observer long ago, and who knew some folks I know — such as Carl Stepp from Bennettsville, whom I had just e-mailed earlier this morning to see how he was doing (after running into someone who mentioned him at a restaurant last night).

But the most fun part, which I share in the video above, was the gadgets and toys that the prospective employers brought with them.

Seriously, I passed out a few resumes and business cards, and collected cards and brochures from:

OK, on that last one, I just got some info on how to find out when there would be a Tupperware party in my area. But with the others, I plan to follow up and explore the job opportunities on their Web sites.

Next week, I intend to attend a job fair at the state museum. But I doubt it will top this one for cool gadgets.

Where the growth is

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Just got a release today from the state Chamber announcing that “The deadline is extended until August 31, 2009 for companies to nominate their business for the Top 25 South Carolina Fastest-Growing Companies program.”

I don’t know who’s going to make that list, but SCBiz reports that 31 South Carolina companies made Inc. magazine’s list of the 5,000 Fastest Growing Companies in America for 2009.

That’s the good news. The bad news is that not one of them made the top 500. The highest on the list was Customer Effective, a Greenville IT services company, at No. 541 on the list.

Anyway, it’s nice to know some part of the economy in South Carolina is actually growing, so congrats to Customer Effective and the other 30 growers. It will be even nicer when some of us find jobs as a result of said growth…

Rupert Murdoch? Hey! That guy owes me money! (but not for long, I hope)

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Remember when I did that freelance gig for The New York Post back during the week of all the Sanford craziness? I covered the press conference (THE press conference, the one where everything came tumbling down) for them and worked some sources for a couple of days.

Thing is, I’ve never gotten paid for that. Finally, I think we’ve got that worked out — I may receive a check in the mail today — but before it got totally resolved, I just wanted to use that headline, because it amuses me. (I’m hearing it in the voice of Bill Murray in “Stripes,” saying to the cute MP outside Gen. Barnicke’s house saying, “Barnicke? Barnicke?! He still owes me money. Hey Barney?…”)

Once the check has been deposited, Rupert will be my bestest buddy. And it will make me feel a bit better when someone calls me from the Post for guidance on the Sanford saga (as someone did just a few days ago — the day Jenny moved out of the mansion, in fact).

If I continue in this freelance floater mode much longer, I may need to have to hire somebody to be my collector. I’m used to just getting a paycheck and not thinking about it. Dunning people is tiring work, and I think I’d prefer to outsource it. Not my core competency, and other business cliches, yadda-yadda …

Well, we made it, despite the odds

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Just got back home after driving up to Pennsylvania yesterday and back to Columbia today. I’m decompressing from the pressure. After all, 273 miles of today’s 573-mile haul were spent in Virginia, where we faced the threat of immediate annihilation from the air if we went a little too fast.

I don’t really know how else to take these signs you find throughout the state. They don’t say that you are monitored from the air or anything, they say the speed limits will be enforced from the air, which I can only imagine being done with air-to-ground missiles, or maybe one of those remarkable machine-cannons they have in the A-10 Warthog that fires like 4,000 depleted uranium rounds per minute.
Anyway, I feel lucky to be home. And I’m too tired to blog. I’ll just update you with my Tweets from the way up and back:

About to drive to Pennsylvania again today, and boy does the weather ever look dirty to the north…8:45 AM Aug 14th from web

Germany and France have pulled out of recession, but US and UK lag. Let’s get it in gear, Anglophones…8:59 AM Aug 14th from web

Stopped for a few minutes at the Barnes & Noble in Harrisonburg, Va., again. Gotta get back on 81 and flog that Yaris on up to central PA…5:57 PM Aug 14th from web

“Magical Mystery Tour” on the CD player, cruising up the valley…6:01 PM Aug 14th from web

I’ve been driving all day; my hands wet on the wheel. Literally — I’m not paraphrasing lyrics. Don’t know why my palms are sweating so…7:20 PM Aug 14th from web

Unless I’ve made a miscalculation, this rental Yaris is getting 43.599 mpg!7:23 PM Aug 14th from web

I’m in Carlisle, PA, home of the US Army War College, the place that launched Jim Thorpe, and home of a top ballet academy. A town of im …about 22 hours ago from web

… Meant to say, “…a town of impressive parts…”about 22 hours ago from web

Another cool thing about Central PA — I sat outside a country house near Carlisle & enjoyed a leisurely beer under the crisp stars: not …about 22 hours ago from web

(Cont.)…not one mosquito bite in the wonderfully cool night air…about 22 hours ago from web

About to eat at my favorite place in PA — the Middlesex Diner, with those nice, fat sausages & home fries!about 13 hours ago from web

Man, but that Central Pennsylvania breakfast was good! About time to mosey back to SC now…about 13 hours ago from web

Glittery-clean rest area in Virginia — literally. They’ve got like flecks of mica in the floor…about 10 hours ago from web

I’m happy to get a mention from Kathleen Parker

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Having been out of town over the weekend, I didn’t see this until now. But now I’m glad I resolved to read the papers I’d missed over lunch today, because otherwise I would have missed this in Kathleen Parker’s Sunday column:

WASHINGTON — Maybe it’s the dog days, but three friends recently got in touch within a 24-hour period to catch up. Or more like it, to catch their breath.

One reported the onset of panic attacks. Another is seeking treatment for depression. The third began an e-mail asking for help with: “Reports of my employment have been greatly exaggerated.”

The first two were women, 40-something and 50. The third is a man in his 50s. They all have one thing in common: No job….

The “man in his 50s” is me. Considering the circumstances, I suppose I come off all right — as the stiff-upper-lip sort who has preserved his sense of irony. I almost sound cool in the face of unemployment. I’m not sure what I and the other two friends have to do with the people who’ve been disrupting town hall meetings — which Kathleen goes on to opine about — but I appreciate the mention. Maybe she thinks I might go to a town hall meeting and make oblique little wisecracks based on literary allusion, thereby messing with everybody’s heads. And now that she’s given me the idea…

Anyway, that little play on Mark Twain — “Reports of my employment have been greatly exaggerated” — is from a semi-form letter I’ve been sending out to a lot of friends. I realized late in the summer that a LOT of folks thought I had found permanent employment. This was not a good thing for me, because it meant I had lost the edge I had in March.

In March, I was fortunate enough to be laid off in a VERY public way — in one version of the first day’s story on thestate.com, I was the only one of 38 people being laid off to be mentioned by name — and under circumstances that generated a lot of support for me in my search for new employment. But my good luck in quickly finding some temporary contract work unfortunately made a lot of those people, who were all willing to augment my own eyes and ears in my job search, to think, “Oh, he’s OK now.” Whenever anybody ASKED me, I’d tell them no, I DON’T have a full-time, permanent job yet. But I didn’t start actually systematically contacting people to tell them this until the contract ran out on June 30 and I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands.

Anyway, here’s the latest version of that note that I send Kathleen and others, minus a passage with contact info I’d rather not share THIS broadly:

August 12, 2009

Dear Friend [except that I always sub in the actual name of the friend],

The rumors of my employment have been greatly exaggerated.

Like most of my friends and acquaintances, you probably know that I was laid off in March from The State, where I was a vice president and the editorial page editor. This happened as part of a trend of severe cutbacks at the paper, and throughout the newspaper industry, with which loyal readers are sadly familiar. I had the honor of being the person most prominently mentioned in published reports about that round of layoffs (that is, of course, until the departure of my far more talented and popular friend and colleague Robert Ariail was announced).

The outpouring of support and even affection that I have experienced since then has been gratifying and humbling.

What you may not know is that I’m still looking for a job, and more urgently than ever.

Yes, I’ve done some temporary communications consulting work that was very satisfying, and which helped me slow down the expenditure of my severance pay. But as I have explained all along to friends who heard about that and congratulated me on having landed a job so quickly, the contract ran only until June 30 – which a glance at the calendar will confirm has come and gone.

Now I’m back to job-hunting full-time, and I could use your help.

So if you know of a good job to which you think I would be suited – or if you know of someone else who might know of such a job – I would greatly appreciate a heads-up. And while full-time employment is my goal, until I find it (and perhaps even after I do), I’ll be very interested to know about any free-lance or part-time consulting work that might be suited to my skills. What skills? Well, I’m hoping in particular to make use of my communication skills, my knowledge of South Carolina and my understanding of public policy.

Finally, I’d like to hear from you whether you have any tips to pass on or not. My e-mail address is brad@bradwarthen.com…. When you have time, please visit my blog, https://bradwarthen.com/.

Thanks for reading this far, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Brad Warthen

I’ve heard from a lot of people, and some of them have offered some really thoughtful advice. Following up on the leads has kept me fairly busy, although not quite as busy as I want to be. So I keep sending out the updates, and keep hoping — and do a little freelance work here and there as occasion offers.

So do you have a better phone than Obama?

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You know how I mentioned that I’ll be driving back from Pennsylvania on Monday?

Well, because of that I called the local Employment Security office. They sent me a letter a while back saying that they would call me at 2:30 p.m. on Monday, Aug. 3, and that it was really important. I just realized that was when I would be traveling, so I called today to see if we could set another time.

I was told no, if I couldn’t be available then, it would be at least September before anybody could talk to me. I think the lady on the phone wanted to be helpful, but she didn’t quite understand why I was worried about the call — it’s a cell phone, right? So why would it matter where I was?

Well, yeah, but — here’s why I’m worried:

On a previous occasion driving this route — I want to say it was summer 2007 — Barack Obama tried to call me. It was a previously arranged call, set up Kevin Griffis of the Obama campaign. I had read some briefing papers to be ready for it, and I got my son to take the wheel at the appointed time.

But we had just entered the mountains in Virginia, and the call kept breaking up. I kept hearing Sen. Obama say, “Sir?… Sir?” (He’s very polite.) But he couldn’t hear me. He called back a couple of times, and then just gave up.

No, he wasn’t the president yet — not even the nominee. But hey, if not even he could get through…

So that’s why I’m concerned. But I didn’t think I should tell the lady at the unemployment office that story. She might think I was topping it the nob, putting on airs, and so forth. So I just let it drop…

Listen to me on the radio from 3-4 today

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Folks, I’m going to take a break from my busy job-hunting schedule to be on Keven Cohen’s show at 3 today. Actually, I had sent Keven a message related to the job search (I’m sort of making my way through the contacts in my Blackberry), and he said he didn’t know of any jobs, but he could help me stay before the public eye. Or ear, in this case.

Keven has asked me to “talk politics/Sanford/2010-2012 races,” which I guess I can handle.

It’s on WVOC, which you can listen to online here.

No, I’m not running for governor — to the best of my knowledge

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Y’all will enjoy this — so I’m driving home this afternoon, having run some family errands after Rotary, and my Blackberry buzzes. And it’s Corey Hutchins from the Free Times.

He says there are rumors flying that someone is about to announce a candidacy for governor. Then he mentions something about it being someone whom Dick Harpootlian and Jim Hodges are backing (which makes the next part really wild).

Then he asks whether I’m the one. I had to get him to repeat it. He was asking me whether I’m running for governor.

I got a good laugh out of that — not at Corey’s expense, though. On the contrary; I respect him for being so conscientious as to take the trouble to run down a wild rumor before dismissing it. And he knew it was wild. In his defense, he said, “You should hear some of the names being mentioned.” Presumably, some are even wilder than mine. I hesitated to use Corey’s name here (and if he asks me to, I’ll take it down) because I didn’t want to embarrass him. But I thought that detail lent credence to a post that you might otherwise think was a hoax.

What I’m laughing about was that for him even to have heard it means that there’s at least one person, and possibly two or more, who found it credible enough to pass on…

But anyway, just for the record:

I am not currently running for governor. Nor do I have actual plans to do so.
I’m not aware of anyone out there who is working in behalf of a Warthen candidacy. And I’d know about that. Wouldn’t I?
Jim Hodges would not be putting my name forward. I mean, he and I get along fine these days, but still. Nor would Dick, far as I know.
I am the founder of the UnParty, and my party has yet even to come up with a nominating process.

Of course, on the other hand, there are the following items arguing the other way:

I’m not gainfully employed at the moment. (When Corey called, I was thinking about my job search.)
I’ve certainly thought a lot about what it takes to be a good governor. For a platform, I could start with my last column at The State, and build from there.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I could be a better governor than the current one (not a high standard, but it’s something).

But no, I’m neither a candidate nor plotting with anyone to become a candidate. What I am doing is hunting for a job.

It’s interesting how susceptible the rumor mill is, though. Remember my thinking out loud, very briefly, about running for Ted Pitts’ House seat, since he’s running for Gov Lite? Well, that had legs. A couple of weeks back, when I dropped by the Lexington County GOP event at Hudson’s BBQ place (I was there to talk to Jake Knotts for this post, when we were all still wondering where the governor was), several people in the crowd asked me about it. And I think some of them were serious.

So it doesn’t take much to get this kind of thing going.

Anyway, to iterate once again — right now, my goal is full-time, paying employment. If I found a job that met my family’s financial needs and allowed me to run for office, too, I might think about it. Someday. But that’s a really huge “if.” Most employers would probably frown on that sort of thing.

Bottom line: I got a good chuckle out of this, and I needed one. So, to whoever started this ball rolling — thanks…

Do you think things are getting any better?

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Consider this another in my fitful efforts to gauge how the economy is coming along. Noting this item today:

Statewide home sales increase 13% in June

Monday, 20 July 2009
Staff Report
COLUMBIA – The number of homes sold in South Carolina rose for the second straight month. Nearly 4,200 homes were sold in June, an increase of 13% over May, according to the latest report from the S.C. Association of Realtors.

In May, home sales totaled 3,704, an increase of 16% over sales in April.

June’s figures also represent the best year-over-year showing so far this year, with just an 11.3% drop compared to June 2008 numbers.

Of the 15 regions reporting home sales for the association, 14 reported an increase in sales over May. The only area that reported a loss was the Southern Midlands Association of Realtors. It sold three more homes in May than it did in June, according to the report.

Of the state’s three major metropolitan areas, Greenville posted a 13.3% increase in June sales over May, followed by Columbia with a 10.5% increase and Charleston with a 9.4% increase, the report said.

The median price of homes in South Carolina was $147,000, up from $142,000 in May. The average number of days a home was on the market was 144, down from 155 in May.

For the full report, click here.

… which follows on news Friday that unemployment held steady, I wonder — do you see signs that things are starting to look up?

You can’t tell by me, since I still don’t have a job. For that matter, you can’t really tell by South Carolina. The state Board of Economic Advisors called for more state budget cuts last week.

But South Carolina lags, and I am a South Carolinian, so I guess that means I lag, too. Still, even I have seen positive signs in recent weeks — such as packed parking lots out in the Harbison area.

What are you seeing?

There’s something backward about this: Sanford’s on vacation, and I’m not

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This morning, The State continued to mine the e-mails and phone records it has FOIed from the governor’s office. We learned among other things that Commerce Secretary Joe Taylor was hunting for Sanford when he went MIA last year with his girlfriend.

My former paper also had a story about what I wrote about yesterday — the fact that the governor is taking time off from work yet again. I particularly liked what Boyd Brown had to say:

“I thought he was going to focus on getting the state back on track,” said state Rep. Boyd Brown, D-Fairfield. “It doesn’t sound like he’s with the program.”

Sanford canceled a meeting with John Rainey, chairman of the Board of Economic Advisors, to discuss state revenue data. Sawyer said Sanford’s canceled meetings will be rescheduled….

Another concern is the state’s 12.1 percent jobless rate, tied for third-highest in the nation. New jobless numbers are expected Friday. E-mails released by the governor’s office show Sanford declined at least one meeting with a company looking to expand its S.C. operations because he was in Argentina.“It might be a wise idea for the governor to be out of town when the new unemployment numbers come out,” Brown said.

You can say that again.

But the most meaningful part of the story, to me, was this:

Since June 18, when he left for Argentina, Sanford has spent 12 of 28 calendar days in Columbia or on the road on gubernatorial duties, according to his governor’s office. Sanford did not work on six of 19 business days during that period.

The rest of Sanford’s time has been spent at his Sullivan’s Island home or on family retreats.

Twelve out of the last 28 days actually on the job… Folks, I’ve been unemployed since March, and I haven’t had the spare time to so much as go to the beach for a day. I’m busy on a freelance job today (which I’m about to get back to), and I’ll be busy tomorrow, and I’ll continue to stay busy until I land a full-time job, and will be busy for a long time after that.

But I’ve always had trouble understanding the governor’s work ethic. When he first started running for governor, he had been out of Congress for a couple of years. I asked him then what he had been doing. “Nothing,” he said, adding something about hanging out with the boys, changing diapers.

I think it’s great for a man to spend time with his family. A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man. And Mark Sanford right now really needs to be working on that. But at some point, we have to talk about the fact that the man is being paid to do a job, and he wasn’t doing it very well to start with …

Health & Happiness today

As mentioned earlier on Twitter, today it was my turn to do Health & Happiness again at Rotary. For you non-Rotarians, H&H is when somebody gets up and talks about the health and personal news of club members, and tells jokes.

If you’ll recall, last time I did it was the first Monday after my last day at The State, and I led off with:

Did you ever hear the one about the guy who had to do Health and Happiness on the first working day after he got laid off?

And, to use the phrase of Kenny Bania on Seinfeld, on that occasion I killed. In fact, I got a standing ovation — although, truth be told, that was more an expression of support over getting laid off rather than because my material was so good.

Nevertheless, it set a high standard in my mind, so I couldn’t just go out there with some jokes copied from a “clean jokes” Web site (an accepted and time-honored H&H tradition). I needed new, original material. Or at least, new to my audience.

So I recycled some stuff from the last few days on the blog and Twitter. I used the IQ test anecdote for instance. It went over well. No standing O, but lots of plaudits nonetheless.

Anyway, in keeping with my rule of not writing anything without sharing it with as wide an audience as possible, here’s the script I worked from, which I threw together this morning:

Health and Happiness 6/22/09

Remember when our speaker last week asked, “Are you a negative person?” No one replied. So how many of you were like me, repressing the urge to answer, “What’s your POINT?” … [said with an angry, paranoid tone] ARRRGGHH …

Hey, y’all – check out my shiny left thumbnail …

Can’t see it? Well, if you’re nice I’ll show it to you after the meeting.

How many of you have been to Columbiana Mall lately? Well, somebody has, because I had trouble finding a parking space there Saturday … That’s gotta be a good sign for the economy, right? …

Anyway, I was there Father’s Day shopping for my Dad — walking through the Mall, minding my own business, when all of a sudden this pretty girl with an exotic accent grabs hold of my hand and starts buffing my left thumbnail, while giving me a sales pitch about cosmetics from Israel, from the Dead Sea.

I was completely unable to stop her. Men are not equipped to handle such situations. I felt like Barney Fife in that episode when Barbara Eden is doing manicures at Floyd’s Barber Shop. He’s all suspicious at first, saying “Not my trigger finger!” but before she’s done he’s saying Aw, go ahead – do my trigger finger …

But I finally got away. And as I’m walking, I post something on Twitter about it. Before I could leave the mall, I got messages back from two other victims. One was a fellow guy who confessed to buying several products. Another was Sunny Phillips, whom you may know as a Republican fundraiser. She reported, “she just wouldn’t let it go. She tried to stop me again on the way back up the other side 10 minutes later, even calling out for me by name!”

My former colleague Mike Fitts wrote to me, “Yes, they’re ex-Mossad agents (you know, the Israeli secret service) who’ve gone into the Mary Kay business, I’m pretty sure. Three minutes in, I told them where the explosives were hidden.”

Here’s what I’m thinking, as I contemplate my one shiny nail:

If The State had these ladies selling advertising, I’d still have a job!

But I didn’t buy anything, that time… Not that I’m bragging on my sales resistance…

Back to our speaker last week – remember how she talked about how older people fall for those e-mail scams…. You know, “Dear sir, I am the Interior Minister of Nigeria, and I’m trying to give you five million dollars…”

And I knew what y’all were thinking: Those dumb old people, falling for that…

But I wasn’t thinking it – no sir, not after my IQ test…

Have I got time to tell about my IQ test?

You know those quizzes people are always taking on Facebook — like “which ‘Friends’ character are you,” or “what’s your real nationality?” Well, I took one of those one day recently, and as I was taking it, a dialogue box popped up saying that some of my friends — one of them closely related to me — had “challenged” me to take an IQ test.

Well, this hit me in one of my weak spots. One of my few skills is that I’m good at tests. Whether it’s the SAT or a current events quiz or whatever, I tend to score way over what you would think by looking, say, at my high school transcript. I play way over my head. Some people have a natural ear for music; I test well. Just one of those things.

Add to that the fact that I was recently laid off, which makes me additionally vulnerable — all that much more eager to show off, if only to myself. You know, the “I’ve still got it” phenomenon.

So I bit. I went to take the test. And boy, did I do well. The questions were so easy as to arouse one’s suspicions under most circumstances. Sort of on the level of, “answer this correctly and you win a free dance lesson.”

One was how many states are in the U.S., and only one of the multiple-choice answers was anywhere near 50. OK?

But instead of thinking, “Hey, wait a minute — what kind of scam test is this?” I’m going, “Man, I’m really acing this! What kind of IQ do you get with a perfect score?!?”

Then, when I’m done with the test, and I’m all eager to see my score, I get a page that tells me I just need to do one thing before my score will post on Facebook — type in my cell phone number, and tell who my service provider is.

Which … I did.

First of all …

my extremely high IQ score never showed up on Facebook.

Second, I started getting these text messages on my phone. Really stupid, irritating text messages, saying stuff like “Which male celebrity from ‘The Hills’ is dating Paris Hilton?” That’s a direct quote.

I would have protested, except that, you know, I didn’t want to tell anybody how I had let myself in for this.

Anyway, earlier last week the Verizon bill came. And I had been charged $29.97 for 3 “Premium text” messages. Yes, ten bucks apiece. So now I knew what I IQ was: it was 29 point 97.

So I got on the horn to Verizon and got them to block all such messages subsequently, which they agreed to do. Of course, by this time one or two more had come in, which will be on my next bill, no doubt. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Because, you know, I had signed up for them.

When I got off the phone, I reported to my wife that I had taken care of the problem, going forward. All done. All fixed. Don’t worry about it.

She asked, how in the world I came to get such messages?

I said, “How about if we just leave it at, ‘I’ve taken care of the problem,’ and not delve into that?”

But she persisted, and I went on to explain…

and she agreed with me that yes, I had certainly flunked the IQ test.

SC (official) jobless rate rises to 12.1%

S.C. unemployment in May rose to 12.1 percent, compared to 9.4 percent nationally — officially. This leaves us tied for third-worst nationally, again (Michigan and Oregon are worse). And one economist notes that the true picture is worse than that:

Coastal Carolina University economist Doug Schunk said the true unemployment picture is around 19.9% for the state and 16.4% for the nation, when factoring in people who have given up looking for work and people working part time for involuntary reasons.

Encouraging, huh?

I found it interesting to learn that I live in the county with the lowest unemployment rate in the state — Lexington, at 8.1 percent. Of course, when you’re one of those who have been laid off, that’s not much comfort.

And oh, I just found a more complete version of the story, by AP’s Jim Davenport, at Forbes.com.

Out here in the Fifth Estate

My latest follower on Twitter (I’m up to 67) is ICFJ, the International Center for Journalists, which is dedicated to “advancing quality journalism worldwide.”

The trick these days, of course, is to figure out how to do that and make money at it. The woods are full of unemployed journalists such as myself, and we’re all for producing quality work (preferably “good-quality,” as opposed to those other kinds), long as somebody will in return provide us with the means to put groceries on the table.

While I’ve slowed down a bit on the blogging lately, I’m just Twittering and Facebooking to beat the band out here and it’s interesting and ground-breaking and all that, but where’s the paycheck. I see that the NYT can afford to pay someone to do this stuff, but beyond the Gray Lady I’m not seeing all that many opportunities.

Yet.

It’s challenging out here in the Fifth Estate (that’s what comes after a career in the Fourth Estate, right?).

My former employer is having me followed

Not sure what to make of this.

One of the pleasures — for a megalomaniac — of Twitter is that instead of having “friends” (and I’ve never quite gotten the meaning of the word as Facebook uses it), you have “followers.” My number of followers has been steadily, but gradually, growing since I signed up over the weekend. Each one makes me feel slightly more powerful and influential, just because of the word.

But what am I to make of my 26th follower?

The State Newspaper (thestate) is now following your updates on Twitter.

Not Warren or Cindi or even Mark Lett, or Gary Ward with thestate.com. No, the institution itself. Its icon is an extreme closeup of the paper’s nameplate.

Of course, you know that I’ve always loved Big Brother. Even ex-Big Brother.

I guess I should deal with this by following it right back, huh?