Virtual Front Page, Monday, August 9, 2010

Just to let y’all know I’m actually back, even though, these being the Dog Days, there is very little substantive news (and why is this so late today? well, I had it about halfway done when we lost Internet service at the office, so I’m finishing it at home):

  1. U.S., BP Near Deal on Fund (WSJ) — But you know, if they do have trouble figuring out what to do with the $20 billion, I’ll be glad to help. Would a 5 percent commission for my services be fair?
  2. Making Good on Pledge, Gates Outlines Military Cuts (NYT) — Fewer guys with stars on their epaulets is one part of the plan.
  3. Man robs Cayce bank (thestate.com) — Not the sort of thing I’d usually put on a front page, but it did actually happen right here in our community this afternoon. So it gets extra points for immediacy.
  4. As Kagan Joins, Federal Courts’ Roles Rise In Importance (NPR) — A nice step-back, thumb-sucker kind of a story for a slow news day.
  5. Ethics committee outlines charges against Rep. Waters (WashPost) — Another weak candidate on a better news day, but today it makes my front.
  6. Charles Taylor ‘gave Naomi Campbell diamonds’ (BBC) — Early today, I saw an NYT headline saying “Testimony by Model at War Crimes Trial Is Challenged.” I thought it was some sort of new historical revelation regarding German Field Marshal Otto Moritz Walter Model. When I found out what it was really about, all I could say (on Twitter) was “Looks like I didn’t miss much real news last week….” And now, underlining just how slow things are around the world, this is actually the lede story on the BBC!

Irony of the day: Sarah Palin and Twisted Sister

Most interesting item from Twitter today… Aaron Sheinin, formerly of The State (and now of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution) tweeted this at midday:

The song Palin and Handel are coming on stage to:http://youtu.be/WT1LXhgXPWs
about 4 hours ago via TweetDeck

To explain — Sarah Palin was in Jawgia today to campaign for Karen Handel, that state’s former secretary of state, who is in a bitter runoff tomorrow for the GOP nomination for governor. (Yet another case of rather presumptuous people, such as our own Jim DeMint, jetting around the country to play right-wing kingmaker and fragment the Republican Party.)

And the two women made their entrance at the event to the strains of “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” Yes, by Twisted Sister. Yes, the self-appointed maven of true, traditional downhome American values was striding out to a theme by a band that, when I was a young Dad back when they first hit the charts, I would have leaped tall buildings in my haste to keep my children from seeing so much as a picture of, so deeply offensive to basic traditional sensibilities (such as my own) I found everything about the band — their name, their look, and (to a lesser extent) their head-banging sound — to be.

By the way, I double-checked with Aaron to make sure I wasn’t misunderstanding, and he responded:

@BradWarthen going on right this second.
about 4 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to BradWarthen

At this point, I could digress with a discourse on how the grossly childish, hostile, chip-on-shoulder attitude embodied in that song, that whole “grownups aren’t going to tell me what to do” petulant pout, fits PERFECTLY with the worldview of the Tea Party and the other bits and pieces of ex-Gov. Palin’s fan base. Which, I’m sure, is why it was chosen.

To give you a further idea of the mentality the song embraces, another reader responded to Aaron’s observation thusly:

JVTress @asheinin You know who else used that song? The one and only John Rocker.
about 4 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to asheinin

You know, John Rocker — the former Atlanta Braves closer who was better known for shooting off his mouth and offending people than for putting out rival hitters. You know — the guy most famous for saying this when asked whether he would ever play for the Yankees or the Mets:

I’d retire first. It’s the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you’re riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing… The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?

In other words, “a Real American.”

But bottom line, the thing that gets me is the cultural aspect of the Palin-Twisted Sister connection. You know, I have frequently called down some of my interlocutors here for making like Bristol Palin’s shame is a legitimate topic for political dissection. I don’t hold with attacking folks’ families. But it does occur to me that if mom thinks Twisted Sister is a good place to go for background music, kiddies could grow up a bit confused. (And no, it’s not that I’m square, as we said in my day. I was just into Elvis Costello and Men at Work and the like at that point in musical history. I was never into “let’s twist glam until it’s positively gross.” The closest I came to that was my deep admiration for the work of Spinal Tap.)

Anyway, I’ll say this for the video at least: I love the little homage to “Animal House” in the video, from using the actor (Mark Metcalf) who played “Doug Neidermeyer” to the paraphrase of his most famous line: “What it THAT? A Twisted Sister pin on your UNIFORM?!?!?”

That did make me smile.

Is that the best Haley can do? Bring up Obama? Wow, that is truly lame…

There wasn’t much new in The State‘s recap Sunday of how Vincent Sheheen is pretty much thrashing Nikki Haley on her signature issues (transparency and business savvy) — nothing much you couldn’t have read here the middle of last week.

But I was struck by the unbelievably lame response recorded from the Haley campaign:

For its part, Haley’s campaign has argued Sheheen, a state senator from Camden, is ducking questions about whether the Democrat supports recently approved national health insurance law and the Obama administration’s lawsuit challenging Arizona’s immigration law, two issues Sheheen could have to deal with if elected governor.

Really? That’s the best you can do? He’s totally crushing you on transparency, and making a mockery of your desire to run government the way you run your business, and that’s your response? You retreat to the current GOP playbook? That book only has one play these days, you know. It goes something like this:

When cornered, talk about Obama. Don’t worry that it has nothing to do with the office you’re running for. Just cry, “Obama! Obama! Obama! We hate Obama! Do you hate Obama? If you don’t, you’re not one of us, because we really, really hate him…” Yadda-yadda. Just keep going; don’t worry about repeating yourself or not making the slightest bit of logical sense, because your base will eat this up…

As for the last phrase in that excerpt from The State — “two issues Sheheen could have to deal with if elected governor” — it’s hard to imagine a more transparent case of news people bending over backwards to act like a source is saying something rational when he or she is not. Yeah, you stretch a point and sure, health care reform affects every state (just as it does business and many other aspects of life) and a governor will govern in an environment in which a lot of people insist that immigration is a huge state issue. But you could say that about almost any hot-button national issue, from Afghanistan to the BP oil spill — it still wouldn’t be central. Everyone, but everyone, knows that the Haley campaign putting out that response has absolutely ZERO to do with what faces the next governor, and everything to do with the fact that if it isn’t in the Sarah Palin songbook, they can’t sing it.

Anyway, we are left waiting for a substantive response actually bearing on the two things that are allegedly Nikki’s strong suits, and why we should believe anything she says about them. And Vincent didn’t pick these issues — Nikki did.

bradwarthen.coffee

Who’d like to invest in a coffee shop in Surfside Beach that is designed purely as a place for people to take their laptops and connect via wi-fi?

There’s a real gap in the market there. And the public library that was my refuge last week has its limitations. For instance, my son-in-law, who is a economist/consultant, needed wi-fi in a place where he could simultaneously talk on the phone — so he ended up going to a Starbucks way up in Myrtle Beach. (Even there, I don’t know how welcome he was, talking into his cell phone in a public place, which suggests the need for a better place that is all ABOUT connectivity.)

OK, maybe “bradwarthen.coffee” is a goofy name for the place — maybe I should get my fellow ad wizards at ADCO to work on it — but I was thinking that it needs a name that tells people it exists for bloggers (like Tim Kelly, who also vacations there and has to go to McDonald’s of all places to get connected) and others who can’t get through their vacations without a reliable place to connect.

This is a bit of a throwback — a decade or two — to the old “Internet cafes” that existed before access was widespread. But I think that in a vacation spot like that that lacks a Starbucks or a Panera, it would have a real chance to catch on.

The money would be made from coffee and snacks, as one certain source of revenue, but they would not be the main attraction. And while my first instincts are that the wi-fi must be free, if it were inviting and accommodating enough (with amenities like LOTS of electrical outlets so you don’t have to jockey for those spaces, and maybe soundproof booths for those needing to teleconference and such) perhaps the market would bear a small fee for the access. I don’t know. This is just the beginning of an idea…

God doesn’t want me blogging this week

Don’t believe me? Well, here’s the evidence:

  • The place where I used to blog when I was here closed. It was a coffee shop called Jacob’s Java. Actually, it was only sorta kinda nominally a coffee shop. They didn’t care whether you bought anything. But it had free wi-fi, and you could sit there as long as you like, as there was never any danger of being in the way of actual customers. The reason this was so was that it was a front for a commercial bakery. The local building codes required that there be a retail business in that location, so they put a coffee shop in front of the bakery to cover that technicality. Anyway, after Jacob’s Java closed last year, I was driving past and saw the owner of the NEW business, a sub shop, out doing something to the facade. I asked whether he, too, would have free w-fi, and he said no.
  • Before I came down here, I contacted Tim Kelly, who I knew from Twitter had been here last week (social media is such a wonderful surveillance tool; it makes each of us into a Big Brother), to see if he’d found a replacement spot to blog. He said all he’d found was McDonald’s. Well, McDonald’s isn’t a very conducive environment, and it’s not nearly as convenient to the house anyway, and I’m mainly here to spend time with my family, not run all over creation to try to blog amid the Big Macs. So that was out.
  • My wife’s brother and sister-in-law are here with their kids, and the second night we were here the sister-in-law went on a quest for wi-fi. She thought she’d found it in a Dunkin’ Donuts the next town over, but she could never get connected.
  • Then, yesterday, my oldest daughter arrived with her little netbook that is perpetually connected via Verizon. So I sat down with that and put up the post about Vincent Sheheen slam-dunking Nikki Haley on her chosen issue, having just read the e-mails that informed me of those developments. But then my daughter told me she gets a finite amount of data per month on her account, so that option was out.
  • Then, my middle daugher informed me that last time SHE was here, the sub shop — which was formerly Jacob’s Java — DID have wi-fi. Which made perfect sense; I guess the owner wised up. So I went there midafternoon yesterday — to find that it had closed at 2.
  • My daughter said she found yet another place, although it was a restaurant where you feel funny just sitting there and not ordering a meal. But I filed that as a backup option.
  • Then today I went to the sub shop. I offered to buy coffee, but was told “We’re not a coffee shop anymore.” Yeah, I know. But she didn’t mind me using the wi-fi — though it was lunchtime, the place was deserted — so I set up. And realized I had not brought my power cord. It was back in Columbia. Fine. I would blog fast. But then my laptop had issues, and I had to reboot once or twice, and after doing all that STILL wasn’t connected. So I left in frustration.
  • But my wife had suggested something as I walked out the door today — the public library! Doh! How could I have not have thought of that? Wonderful government services are always there when the cold, heartless marketplace lets you down! So I came here to the library, and… still couldn’t connect. Then I realized what I had been too flustered to realize at the sub shop: You have to take the steps to connect to the router first. I’ve grown so accustomed to having that set up to happen automatically at the places where I usually use the laptop, I had forgotten something so basic. So now I’m up and running.
  • But my battery is running down, and it occurs to me that I might need it for something urgent. So this it it for now.

As I said, God doesn’t want me blogging this week. And I’m fine with that. I’ve spent all my time with my family, and that’s better any time.

Way to go, Vincent. Can you catch up now, Nikki?

I’m glad to see Vincent Sheheen took my advice. OK, so maybe he didn’t do it because I advised it; likely he figured it out for himself.

In any case, I was glad to see this release come in on my Blackberry today:

VINCENT SHEHEEN RELEASES SENATE EMAILS

“Sheheen calls on Haley for transparency and full disclosure.”

Camden, SC—-Today Vincent Sheheen, candidate for governor, released his legislative emails for the public to review. He released information from both the L Drive and the G Drive for his Senate office.
 
In releasing his emails, Vincent stated, “ In order to restore trust, honesty and integrity to our state, we as candidates must be transparent in our actions. Today, I have released my legislative emails and I challenge Representative Haley to do the same. Candidates must practice what we preach. It is about a true and open government.”

This keeps Vincent way out ahead of Nikki on the transparency front — you know, the issue that she chose to run on…

She’s probably starting to regret making a big deal of this issue. Today, her campaign released some tax records, although not for the full 10 years that Sheheen has released. And even though she picked the years she released, she has revealed a record of late filings and having to pay fines. From the AP story:

COLUMBIA, S.C. — South Carolina Republican gubernatorial nominee Nikki Haley has repeatedly paid late fees and penalties for not paying her income taxes on time.      Tax records released Wednesday by Haley’s campaign show she and her husband filed more than a year late on two occasions. They have not filed by the usual April 15 deadline since they began owing money five years ago.

No wonder she’s such an anti-tax zealot. She has so much trouble paying them.

The state Democratic Party is of course loving this; they’ve put out a release to chortle:

“Nikki Haley not only refused to release 10 years of tax returns to match Vincent Sheheen’s record of transparency, her attempt to save face has backfired,” said Fowler.  “At no point in the past five years has Ms. Haley paid her taxes on time, but she’s running for office citing her experience as an accountant and claiming to be a fiscal conservative.  If this is how she manages her own books, imagine what she has in store for South Carolina.  This reeks of the worst kind of hypocrisy.”

So now we’re all left waiting to see the rest of those tax records — and the e-mails, of course. There are shoes left to drop in this saga…

Yep, I’m on vacation…

No, I haven’t dropped off the face of the Earth. I’m just on vacation, down at the beach. And unfortunately, the place where I usually blog down here has closed down, so I don’t have convenient Web service.

And since I neither get newspapers nor am able to READ the Web here, I’m not inspired to WRITE anything, because I don’t know what’s going on.

Its kind of weird and disorienting, but I’m going with it for the moment.

I’ll be checking back in soon; I just don’t know when…

Just ran into Nikki Haley. She looked well…

I ran into Nikki Haley at lunch today, at M Vista on Lady Street. She was there with Rob Godfrey and Tim Pearson of her campaign.

I think it was the first time I’d conversed with her since that time at Starbucks on Gervais shortly after the 2008 election. That day, she had a young woman in tow whom she introduced as being “with my campaign,” and I thought that was odd. The ’08 campaign was over, and it was early for a House candidate to be having meetings about the next campaign. I was probably the most shocked guy in South Carolina when it came out a month or two later than she was running for governor — it just seemed so totally unlikely that she would see herself as ready for that. It was the beginning of me seriously wondering about Nikki…

Anyway, Nikki was pleasant and charming as always when I went up to chat with her today. I don’t think Rob or Tim were all that thrilled to see me, though. They certainly didn’t smile, but then we guys don’t, do we, under such circumstances? Nikki did, but then ladies do.

We didn’t talk shop. She did the standard thing polite people do when other topics are awkward — she asked after my family. Then she asked how I was doing, and I told her that I was with ADCO and having lunch with my colleagues over there, and gave her one of my ADCO cards. She said I was probably glad not to be at the paper any more, and I thought that was perceptive of her. Or a good guess. Maybe it was just an understated slap at the paper; I don’t know. So I asked how she was holding up, and she said great, and I said something about how things had probably gotten a lot less crazy in the last few weeks, and she agreed. And then she asked me again about my family. So I began to dismiss myself, thinking I should wish her all the best but wanting to be honest, and ended up saying something totally inane like, “Well, as long as you’re enjoying yourself; that’s the thing…”

My ADCO friends thought it odd that I had gone to speak with her. Maybe they thought I was showing off, as in That Brad! He’ll just do any crazy thing! But that’s because they only know about Nikki and me through what I’ve written on the blog lately. They don’t realize that I’ve known her for years, and we’ve always had a very cordial relationship. I’ve happily endorsed her twice — in 2004 and 2008 (those were the only elections in which she had opposition), and always enjoyed chatting with her. I always had good hopes for her — before she embarked on her quest to become the new Mark Sanford and darling of the Tea Party, South Carolina’s answer to Sarah Palin. Which is deeply unfortunate.

So it was nice to see her, even though there was that slight awkwardness.

Virtual Front Page, Thursday, July 29, 2010

Yeah, I’ve been kinda slack on posting today, because I’m busy with ADCO stuff. But here’s your news roundup, so quit yer whinin’…

  1. Gates calls in FBI on Wikileaks (BBC) — Quoth the SecDef, “The battlefield consequences of the release of these documents are potentially severe and dangerous for our troops, our allies and Afghan partners, and may well damage our relationships and reputation in that key part of the world.”
  2. Evidence Ties Manning to Afghan Leaks (WSJ) — Kind of hard to believe that a Pfc. was in a position to do this. Especially one who looks like a 12-year-old Howdy Doody.
  3. Citi to Pay $75 Million in SEC Pact (WSJ) — This is “to settle regulatory charges that it failed to disclose $40 billion in subprime exposure to investors in the second and third quarters of 2007.”
  4. Shaw/McEntire do not make first cut for new jet (thestate.com) — Dang. F-35s in the Midlands was going to be awesome. But we still might get them eventually. We just won’t be the first kids on the block to have ’em.
  5. Graham: No citizenship for illegal immigrants’ offspring (thestate.com) — Boy, would I like to hear some elaboration on this one, particularly his use of the language, “They come here to drop a child,” which sounds to me to be just a step above the kind of dehumanizing remark we’d expect from Andre Bauer talking about free-lunch kids. Knowing Lindsey, he can probably explain it, but I’d like to hear that explanation.
  6. Rangel faces 13 charges of ethical violations (WashPost) — This sets the stage for an historic trial.

There is nothing wrong with this cartoon

In fact, it’s quite awesome.

I missed it when Robert put it out week before last, and I’m glad it’s been called to my attention now. It’s hard to imagine a more pointed evocation of exactly what’s wrong with Nikki Haley. Or one of the things wrong with her, anyway.

What might be harder to imagine, to a sensible person who understands the concepts of satire and the idioms of topical visual communication, is the controversy it engendered.

It wasn’t all that much, of course. Just intimations that he was essentially calling her a “raghead.” Or check this one out, helpfully headlined, “Reminder: Nikki Haley is a Secret Muslim Whore.” An excerpt:

Now, just a month after Haley’s victory, one Republican cartoonist has emerged from his gutterto dredge up the same vile race-baiting and sexism that failed to derail her primary campaign. In a cartoon published Tuesday (pictured above), Robert Ariail portrays the Indian-American gubernatorial candidate as a bikini-clad pageant queen in the first panel and a niqab-clad Muslim in the second.  The cartoon explicitly echos previous race-, religion-, and gender-based attacks against Haley, a practicing Methodist raised in the Sikh tradition by her immigrant parents.

Ariail depicts Haley as a radical Muslim posing as an all American pageant contestant so she can put one over on voters.  He claims that’s totally different than when State Senator Jake Knotts described Haley as “a raghead that’s ashamed of her religion trying to hide it behind being Methodist for political reasons.”

All utter … let me think of a nice word… nonsense. An ironic side note: Robert’s used to getting this kind of … nonsense… from the left, so at least this is a change of pace, reflecting the extreme right’s recent and sudden discovery of the power of Identity Politics.

Silly as it all was, Robert was nevertheless asked by a local TV station to account for himself, which he dutifully did:

The cartoon on Ms. Haley is, I think, pretty straight forward: It contrasts her campaign’s message of open government and transparency ( which I support ) with her recent closed-door meetings, her refusal to release House e-mail accounts and her explanations on consulting fees and what she did to earn them. The cartoon is neither salacious nor an ethnic or religious slur. I came up with the idea of her as “Miss Transparency” wearing the title sash and bikini and chose the burqa as the best clothing metaphor representing the opposite of transparency. The burqa is a visual metaphore I’ve used before to make similar points. It is not about Ms. Haley’s religion- after all, she was a Sikh, not a Muslim, before she became a Christian. Anyone who claims this cartoon is an ethnic or religious slur is deliberately misconstruing its simple, issue-oriented meaning.

Robert Ariail
robertariail.com

I appreciate Robert’s extreme patience in providing this “hold-you-by-the-hand-and-explain-the-obvious” explication, but it almost ruins the cartoon for me that he had to. Explanation is death to comedy. And if there must be an explanation, I prefer the one that Robert suggested to me when I told him this morning I might post something about the foolishness that some chose to read into the cartoon. He suggested that I tell y’all, “Robert’s not thinking about s__t like that” when he does his thing. Please excuse his technical newspaperman jargon.

My message is, this is everything a cartoon should be: It makes an excellent political point that needs to be made, and it provides a laugh along the way. Good job, Robert.

Oh, one other thing. Today Wes Wolfe raised a new question about the cartoon (which is what got me to thinking about it): After saying that “After discussing the piece with friends, we decided that was perhaps not the best way to go” (which suggests to me he might need some new friends), Wes suggested that the cartoon may have had something to do with Robert parting company with The Nerve, the S.C. Policy Council Web pub Robert had done some cartoons for recently — since, you know, Nikki’s their kind of gal.

Well, that seemed unlikely to me, and Robert confirms: When you go back to work for the MSM, you can’t still be associated with what is essentially a propaganda entity. It’s just not a good fit. So he chose, wisely, the Spartanburg paper over The Nerve — and those folks understood, and they parted on good terms — as Wes notes. And now Robert’s back doing what he ought to do.

Finally, a bonus: Robert’s gotten into hot water over burqas before, ALSO over a hilarious, pointed cartoon that had absolutely nothing wrong with it. It was the one making fun over the controversy in the Legislature over young female pages being dressed too provocatively. The hoo-hah over that one at least led to something good — a conversation between me and Robert about how everybody seemed to be after him with the torches and pitchforks, which in turn led to the cover of his last book.

Anyway, for your enjoyment, a look at that earlier “offensive” cartoon:

Virtual Front Page, Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sorry I didn’t have you one of these yesterday. I’m way busy on some ADCO deadlines. But here you go:

  1. Federal judge blocks key parts of Arizona immigration law (WashPost) — What? You haven’t heard about this? Then you’re obviously not a Republican politician, because they have been in apoplexy over this all day. (Of course, they blame it on Nancy Pelosi — the way Dems used to blame everything on Bush).
  2. Gap In Federal Cocaine Sentences To Narrow (NPR) — I’ve seen releases from both Jim Clyburn and Lindsey Graham praising this, so it’s gotta be good, right?
  3. No Survivors in Pakistan Plane Crash (NYT) — There were 152 people aboard.
  4. Dems try to tie all GOP to Tea Party fringe (WashPost) — Typical partisan ploy, but then, the Republicans pandering to this element are begging for it.
  5. In Many CPRs, Skip the Mouth-to-Mouth (WSJ) — This is going to make the procedure SO much more palatable to many bystanders — although less so if the victim is Christina Hendricks or Daisy Fuentes. Or Laura Linney. Or… let’s move on…
  6. Study: We’re too lazy here in SC (The State) — Just to give you a talker. The most disturbing thing about this report? It’s from Businessweek.com. SC really doesn’t need any more raps on our rep from business people nationwide. And let me ask y’all: How do you watch that much TV. But hey: “We’re No. 1! We’re No. 1!”

I’ll take my Coffee Party straight black, please

Even if I didn’t know what they respectively represent, I’d have a prejudice in favor of the new and growing Coffee Party movement over the Tea Party. Simply because, you know, coffee is way better than that eyewash they drink over across the pond.

But knowing what a wonderful, rational, well-motivated response the Coffee Party offers to the increasingly destructive Tea Party, I make my choice enthusiastically.

I was all charged up and ready to write about this promising movement a couple of weeks back, but then I saw that their membership requirements say “no pundits” and felt so left out that I went and sulked for a fortnight. But then I thought, Hey, would they make an exception in my case since I’m no longer actually a PAID pundit? I don’t know. It’s worth a shot.

Anyway, the thing that brings this worthy group — or network of groups — to mind today is Roger Ebert’s suggestion that he’d like to see a debate between Tea Party darling Sarah Palin and Coffee Party Founder Annabel Park. (Or at least, “a serious discussion, woman to woman,” as he puts it. Based on the clip above, I’m thinking Annabel would definitely win on points. (And then, maybe she could come here and debate Nikki Haley…)

But see what you think. And join the Coffee Party movement — they should take YOU, at any rate.

From Honest Abe to Opulence: awesome adverts

First, unlike more typical folks here in the eighth-laziest state in the nation, I don’t watch all that much TV. When I turn the box on, it’s usually to watch a DVD (0ften of TV shows, but is that the same as “watching TV”? I don’t know). And when I actually do surf the broadcast and cable offerings, I have a very itchy finger on the channel-changer, and commercials are occasions for launching another circuit of my options.

So when I actually see an ad that makes me stop and watch it, and want to watch it again, and call family members in to see it — that’s a rare occasion.

There are currently two such ads on the tube these days. One is above, and the other below. Hats off to the ad geniuses who made these; every detail is perfect. I particularly love the conceit of making the Abe Lincoln clip old and scratchy, sort of stretching the facts of history to pretend moving pictures were available in the days of Matthew Brady.

But the Russian mafioso and his miniature giraffe — that’s also to bust a gut over. Who dreamed that up? Who thought of the giraffe, or his goofy paroxyms of joy as he smooches it? It’s so riveting you almost don’t notice the babes next to him, which is amazing.

So hats off to the agencies that I THINK are responsible for these gems: the Martin Agency for the Honest Abe (those guys are awesome — whoever heard of so many totally separate, memorable, highly creative campaigns going on for one client at the same time? And they keep it up year after year), and Grey Advertising for the “Opulence — I has it” advert.

Good stuff, folks. As an aspiring ad man, I will try to emulate your brilliance.

Benjamin joins Ogletree, Deakins law firm

Just got this release…

OK, never mind! I was going to copy a couple of grafs out of the release here for your perusal, but it’s a blasted PDF file, and you know how sometimes you can copy text out of a PDF and sometimes you can’t? This is one of those where you can’t, which is another occasion for me to say, as a blogger who values convenience and accessibility in information online…

I FRICKIN’ HATE PDFS, AND DON’T KNOW WHY PEOPLE INSIST UPON USING THEM!!!

OK, that’s out of my system.

Anyway, the release, which you can find here, says that Ogletree, Deakins, Nash, Smoak & Stewart, one of the nation’s largest labor and employment law firms, has hired Steve Benjamin effective Aug. 1.

I guess it’s kind of hard keeping a small law firm (Benjamin Law Firm, LLC) going when you’re distracted by the all-consuming “part-time” job of being mayor. Maybe someday we’ll get all grown up and have a full-time mayor in this town, and then the mayor won’t have to make arrangements on the side to feed his family. In the meantime, this kind of move makes sense: Going with a large firm that can afford to give you lots of leeway on your time…

Mike Fitts’ piece on Sheheen and the Chamber

The lead story in the latest print version of Columbia Regional Business Report was about the S.C. Chamber of Commerce’s historic decision to endorse a candidate in the governor’s race — specifically, Vincent Sheheen. I can’t link you to the full piece because for some reason it’s not online. But Mike Fitts shot me a copy of his piece to save me all that nasty typing as I give you this excerpt:

Chamber weighs in on governor’s race

Executive summary: Frustration with Gov. Mark Sanford has helped prod the S.C. Chamber of Commerce to give its first gubernatorial endorsement, to Vincent Sheheen.

By Mike Fitts
[email protected]

There was one overriding factor that prompted the S.C. Chamber of Commerce to make an endorsement for the governor’s race for the first time: the gridlock around the current occupant.

A large majority of the members of the chamber’s board, which is made up of more than 50 business executives from across the state, thought that it was time for the chamber to do its first endorsement in a statewide race. The view that Gov. Mark Sanford had failed to get things done for eight years was a major driver in that decision, said chamber CEO Otis Rawl. The business community “didn’t make much headway” with the governor’s office during his term, he said.

“Our board didn’t want that to happen again,” Rawl said…

Here are some things that interested me about the piece:

  • The fact that it was for the first time. That hadn’t fully registered on me. It seems to me a reflection of business leaders’ realization that sitting on the sidelines has led to stagnation in South Carolina’s political leadership. Rather than let another do-nothing governor get elected on the base of ideological slogans, they wanted to act to get some real leadership.
  • Although I’d read it before, I was struck again by the vapid immaturity of the Haley campaign’s response: Haley spokesman Rob Godfrey had said to the AP: “The state chamber is a big fan of bailouts and corporate welfare, so it’s no surprise that they would prefer a liberal like Vincent Sheheen over a conservative like Nikki Haley.” I wonder if Nikki opened her secret meetings with business people with those words. If she truly believed in transparency, if she really wanted to let those people know what her campaign stood for, she would have. A response like this confirms that the Chamber chose wisely.
  • A factor in the Chamber’s decision was that Sheheen, rather than resorting to ideological slogans, had more specifics about what he’d do to build our state’s economy: “Sheheen offered better answers on keeping the state’s ports successful, building up the state’s infrastructure and improving the state’s workforce, which is vital to keeping such employers and Boeing and BMW happy, Rawl said.”
  • Sheheen also made the case — and this should truly be the measure of this campaign — that unlike Haley, who has built her brief career on fighting against the Legislature, he could actually get his plans acted upon: “It’s OK to rail against the good ol’ boy system, Rawl said, but a governor has to be able to get legislation thru the General Assembly.”
  • Then there’s the execrable Act 388, which distorted our whole tax system — putting an excessive burden on businesses and renters, and shifting the load for supporting public schools onto the volatile, exemption-ridden sales tax — for the sake of the subset of homeowners who lived in high-growth areas. Vincent did what he could to stop it; Nikki voted for it.
  • The vote of confidence by the Chamber’s board was huge and dramatic. They didn’t even wait for the GOP runoff to be over before 75 percent of them voted to support Sheheen in the fall. As for the broader membership, there has been “scattered pushback” from some individual members, but nothing to make the Chamber leadership (which has not been given to taking such risks) sweat. Which is truly remarkable with such a broad, conservative membership as the Chamber’s.

Finally, the thing that got the Chamber to take this unprecedented step was the fact that this election is so pivotal, a fact that I started writing about before I left the paper (which is normally LONG before I would focus on something like this). South Carolina simply cannot continue to drift while our elected leaders play ideological footsie (when you go to that link, scroll down to “Sanford on Fox 46 times”) with national media. We have to get serious. That’s a conclusion that the Chamber has reached as well.

Robert Ariail’s new gig!

I know y’all will all join me in congratulating the Spartanburg Herald-Journal for having the good sense to hire my great friend Robert Ariail.

As Robert says, “I think the Herald-Journal is showing a lot of faith in the future of newspapers and of editorial cartooning.” Indeed. At a time when papers are jettisoning cartoonists left and right — in fact, ALL of my cartoonist friends have been laid off over the last couple of years — this is a tremendous expression of right-thinking. It shows Spartanburg understands what newspapers are about.

Unlike me, who after 35 years of newspapering have moved on to do new things, Robert never lost faith in his desire to keep doing what he does best — what he indeed does better than practically anyone else in the world.

This is very good news.

Richland Dems can’t count either!

Ya gotta love it.

Just now, I received a fund-raising message from Richland County Democrats that boldly asserts in the headline:

Get Active! 99 Days to the Election!

OK, so that means Richland Democrats agree with Nikki Haley, but disagree with Rob Miller, as to how many days there are until the election. Right?

Yo! Boyd! Get a calendar!

So which was it — 99 days or 100?

Meant to raise this question yesterday, which would have been less confusing, but when it occurred to me last night I didn’t feel like breaking the laptop back out, so here goes.

On Monday, I received a release from the Rob Miller campaign headlined “99 Reasons,” and beginning this way: “It seems far away now, but we are just 99 days from ending Joe Wilson’s congressional career.”

OK. Aside from that sounding excessively optimistic, it wasn’t particularly interesting. So I set it aside.

Then I got a release from the Nikki Haley campaign headlined “100 days,” and saying essentially that that was how many days were left. How she arrived at the number is further confused by this boldfaced passage:

Yesterday marked a significant milestone in our campaign — there are only 100 days left until Election Day.

So does that mean they were counting from “yesterday,” which would have been Sunday? If so, why does the sentence go on to use the present tense, saying “there ARE only 100 days left”? One is left to conclude that the Haley campaign was saying there were still 100 days left.

Was she counting Monday itself, as a way of asserting her wish not to waste a day? Perhaps. But I’m left with the impression, once again, that these Democrats and Republicans can’t agree on anything. But I set that aside, too.

Then last night, just before 10 p.m., I got a release from Karen Floyd headlined “99 Days of Bad Ideas” and just chock full of the sort of ranting nonsense you expect from parties:

We’re going to hear from liberals like Joe Biden, who just stopped in to raise money for John Spratt, saying that we should have spent even more “stimulus” money.  We’re going to hear fromCongressman Spratt himself that the budget he wrote is actually fiscally responsible, although we all know it increases our debts and puts our nation at risk. We’re going to hear from Rob Millerthat it’s okay for candidates to accept millions of dollars from liberal Washington special interest groups. We’re going to hear from Vincent Sheheen that English doesn’t have to be our state’s official language and that tax cuts won’t create jobs and grow our economy. We’ll hear from Matt Richardson (he’s the liberal running for Attorney General, in case you’ve never heard of him) that we don’t need to stand up to the federal government when they step on our rights every other day. We’ll even hear from their US Senate candidate who believes action figures of himself will fix our high unemployment rate.

Why don’t they just save themselves trouble by typing “liberal” once and then just pasting it into the text over and over? “Liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal…” It would make as much sense, and be just as relevant. They could italicize some of them and boldface others, for variety. “Liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal…” If they don’t think variety is ideological heresy, of course.

And where on Earth did they get the thing about English as an official language? What does that have to do with anything? And is that really the best they can come up with as an indictment of Vincent?

Anyway, the thing that interested me was that Karen Floyd was siding with Rob Miller on the number of days left. Just goes to show that there is room for finding common ground across the partisan divide. And it demonstrates how out of touch Nikki is, even with her own party.

Yes, that last sentence would have had a smiley face after it if I did smiley faces.

Smart money bets — but not much — on Sanford

The odds may be long, but those who set them give Mark Sanford a chance at a political future — and not only that, but a shot at the unthinkable:

Oddsmakers: Mark Sanford more likely to become president than McCain, Paul

Posted at 12:10 PM by Jeff Shaw

Beano Cook has mused that if you want to predict the future, go by what the oddsmakers in Vegas are saying. “Those guys live in nicer houses than we do,” I’d hear Beano say often on my local sports radio shows.

Strictly for research purposes, I took a gander at what the online wagering site BetUs is saying about the 2012 presidential election. The site is offering futures bets on the outcome of Nov. 2012’s balloting, and while we’re a long way from that day, what the bookies think the most likely outcomes are is intriguing. Here’s a screen shot of the chart in case you don’t want to visit a gambling website.

For those of you unfamiliar with oddsmaking, a minus sign indicates a bet that will pay off at less than even money. Currently, Barack Obama is at -130, meaning he’s the favorite. And a pretty major favorite, too: betting $100 on Obama would only return $77.

The fact that a sitting president would be a big favorite at this stage of the game isn’t surprising. Some of the other results, though, merit an eyebrow raise or two….

* Mark Sanford is in the mix! Yes, he’s a longshot at +4000, but that puts him ahead of previous nominee John McCain and Internet favorite Ron Paul (both at +5000). Oddsmakers must feel like Americans love a good soulmate story — or haven’t tired of Appalachian Trail jokes.

Combine that with the disgusting talk of him opposing Lindsey Graham, and you have a dark vision of our future that might have caused Orwell to shudder.

To think of cold-bloodedly forecasting such a thing. If I ever doubted that gamblers were amoral, this should settle it.

Virtual Front Page, Monday, July 26, 2010

Here’s what we have at this hour:

  1. Leaks Add to Pressure on White House Over Strategy (NYT) — Pentagon Papers Redux.
  2. Pentagon Eyes Accused Analyst Over WikiLeaks Data (WSJ) — Well, he’s certainly an unlikely-looking spy. He looks like Howdy Doody at age 12.
  3. EU tightens sanctions over Iran nuclear programme (BBC) — Meanwhile, outside of the inward-looking US of A…
  4. Chief executive of BP expected to step down (WashPost) — At which point, finally, he’ll get his life back.
  5. A Futurist 40 Years Later: Possibilities, Not Predictions (NPR) — Remember Alvin Toffler? He should have mentioned, “And in the future, I will get really old-looking…”
  6. Early bar closing inching closer to approval (The State) — Just to get something local on the page. What do y’all think of this? I’m for it. But you know I would be, right? My critics would call it a function of the Nanny State. I call it the Daddy State. It reflects my viewpoint as a longtime Dad. These kids don’t need to be out so frickin’ late.